Game Recognize Game

Play Boring, Play to Win

2011-03-06T13:53:00.000-08:00

Winning 50 Games In Style

While checking out ESPN on my phone this morning I noticed an NBA milestone just reached by the Spurs that is nothing short of remarkable. After beating Cleveland (obviously not that remarkable) the Spurs have improved their record to an NBA best 50-11, giving them their 12th straight 50 win record. The only other franchise to match a streak of this duration is the Lakers, who achieved it between the 1979-80 and 1990-91 seasons.
Not to take anything away from a Lakers team that at the time included multiple hall-of-famers and won multiple championships, but in today’s NBA a streak like this is much harder to accomplish. For one thing, it is rare that premier players stay on one team anymore and the biggest key to the Spurs success in this era has no doubt been Tim Duncan. While most players either look for the max contract in a big NBA market or attempt to leave their original teams to join forces with other all-stars, Duncan won a championship in his second season with the Spurs and never looked back. Another big reason the Spurs have been able to produce so many winning seasons is their supporting cast. This franchise has done an incredible job of finding talent where others don’t look, both overseas and here in the United States. Obviously, Tony Parker and Manu Ginobli are two of the greatest international players to ever join the NBA but the Spurs also have an incredible ability to find talent that other teams overlook. The fact that ignored players such as George Hill, Chris Quinn and Matt Bonner make consistent contributions to a championship contender is a credit to Greg Popovich and the Spurs coaching staff and a big reason why they have been able to keep their franchise players healthy and continuously have such winning records.
Other NBA franchises should look to San Antonio as the example of how to win consistently and be successful in the league. Their ability to retain their big talent players and keep them healthy, utilize their supporting cast to the fullest of their abilities and win NBA championships all while remaining drama-free and maintaining a strong fan base make them the premier example of a successful NBA franchise. Even though they have been playing some of the most boring basketball to watch over the last 10 years, this milestone is the gold standard that every team should aim for.

I Called It!

2011-02-22T14:30:00.000-08:00

It’s a shame that two posts in a row will be about Carmelo, but it is necessary. He has just negotiated a contract with the Knicks and I’d be more than happy to walk you through the intricacies of what is no doubt a pretty complicated deal.
After analyzing the update from realgm.com (and reading it about seven times) it appears to look like this:
The Nuggets Give:Carmelo Anthony, Chauncey Billups, Shelden Williams, Anthony Carter and Renaldo Balkman
The Nuggets Get:Timofey Mozgov (I don’t know who that is either), Raymond Felton, Danilo Gallinari and Wilson Chandler, New York’s first round pick in 2014, two of Golden State’s future second round picks and some cash
The Knicks Give: Timofey Mozgov, Raymond Felton, Danilo Gallinari and Wilson Chandler, a first round pick, Anthony Randolph and Eddy Curry’s contract to Minnesota
The Knicks Get:Carmelo Anthony , Chauncey Billups, Shelden Williams, Anthony Carter and Corey Brewer
The Timberwolves Give: Corey Brewer
The Timberwolves Get:Anthony Randolph and Eddy Curry’s expiring contract
To me it seems like New York really gave up a lot to get Carmelo. Gallinari, Chandler and Raymond Felton are all playing really well and have a lot of potential, but if you want Melo you have to give up a lot and the fact that they’re also getting Chauncey Billups really makes this seem like a win-win situation, especially considering Denver is having their franchise player leave them. Carmelo was going to leave, which the Denver front office eventually accepted, and because of it the team won’t be completely barren like Cleveland was after LeBron left. Even the Timberwolves won a little bit by trading up from Corey Brewer to Anthony Randolph just by paying out Eddy Curry’s contract. I’m very excited to see Carmelo on the Knicks with Amare and Chauncey and I think they have a very good shot at the Eastern Conference finals this year.

I Won't Call This Post "Melo Drama"

2011-02-09T08:52:00.000-08:00

When trying to decide what the big NBA story is this morning, I realize that it is already February and that can only mean one thing. As the trade deadline quickly approaches, some superstar must be in the middle of several rumored, blockbuster deals. This season the star in the spotlight is Carmelo Anthony and the proposed deals are numerous, complicated and of course, still rumors. Let’s outline the most intriguing possibilities being thrown around:
L.A. Lakers: It has recently been proposed that the Lakers are the frontrunner in acquiring Melo. Although Ron Artest has been reportedly asking for a trade out of Los Angeles, the proposal has the Lakers giving up Andrew Bynum instead. To me this trade seems unlikely. Even though the Lakers haven’t been as dominant this year as people expected, giving up a 7-footer to acquire another long-distance, rapid-fire scorer to play next to Kobe doesn’t exactly set the Lakers up for an easy road to a championship. In any case it is reported that Carmelo intends on playing for the Knicks in the ’11-’12 season, so any deal with the Lakers would probably just be for the remainder of this year.
New Jersey Nets: Early on last summer, when Dwyane Wade, LeBron and Chris Bosh were among the All-Star players who had to make big decisions about their contracts, the Nets were seemingly one of the frontrunners to acquire a franchise superstar. Again the Nets are in the discussion as a possible home for Carmelo for the same reason they might have gotten LeBron back in July, they have a lot of money and really, really need a good player. Carmelo seems a little too smart to pick a team based simply on the money he could make and in the modern sports era where players are constantly thinking about their lasting legacy, Melo must want to play somewhere he can win a title. That place is not New Jersey.
New York Knicks: The Knicks are the strongest candidate for Carmelo’s new home and have been since before this season even started. They are playing well, the Nuggets would be able to send him away to the Eastern Conference and there has even been a fairly feasible three team trade proposed. The Knicks would acquire Carmelo Anthony, while sending Anthony Randolph and Eddy Curry (who luckily has an expiring contract) to the Timberwolves and Wilson Chandler to the Nuggets, who would also get a first round pick and Corey Brewer from Minnesota. Furthermore, Carmelo would be a great piece for New York (where he’s already won a national championship with Syracuse) adding a slasher and three-point threat to the already lethal combo of Stoudemire and Felton that could take the East by storm.
Denver Nuggets: Let’s not forget that it is quite possible a deal won’t work out in the next two weeks and Carmelo could stay in Denver, at least for the rest of the season. Luckily it seems like both sides are dealing with this situation cordially and both sides have been continuing with business as usual in the NBA.
One of the great things about the NBA is how drastically a single player can affect the outcome of a game, a season and even a franchise which is why professional basketball is the most exciting sport in February. Hopefully we will be seeing Carmelo on the move, giving a new look to a franchise and creating a new NBA powerhouse in the process.

Where Is The Love?

2011-02-04T09:43:00.000-08:00

"When I Open My Eyes I'll Be in Dallas"
The All-Star game sucks. It has particularly sucked for the last five or six years, but in general it’s always just been a showcase for dunks and unrealistically long range shots, which is kind of awesome, but only up to a certain point. Every year I lose interest about halfway through the second quarter, but the game does serve a captivating purpose. The All-Star team selections serve as a midseason milestone to remind us of the elite players and fan favorites within the NBA. This is an interesting method of marking history in the league and the system in which fans choose the starters and experts choose the reserves creates a balance that usually results in the best representation of top players. This system, however, is flawed. For one, players like Yao Ming, Shaquille O’Neal and Allen Iverson have been named to too many All-Star teams simply because they are popular, not necessarily because they are having a good season. This is generally ok because those that choose the reserve players judge performance alone, but when elite players are overlooked because they are not necessarily popular and then also denied a bench spot, the only thing that redeems the All-Star process is lost. Let’s look at who is supposedly leading the NBA this season:

Eastern Conference
Starters:
LeBron James – Miami
Amare Stoudemire – New York
Dwyane Wade – Miami
Derrick Rose – Chicago
Dwight Howard – Orlando
Reserves:
Ray Allen – Boston
Chris Bosh – Miami
Kevin Garnett – Boston
Al Horford – Atlanta
Joe Johnson – Atlanta
In my opinion the Eastern Conference has a pretty accurate breakdown, probably because there is less talent to pick from. There are only a few teams represented here which is unfortunate but the truth is there are only a few good teams in the Eastern Conference to choose from. I don’t know what they were thinking with the West though:

Western Conference
Starters:
Kevin Durant – Oklahoma City
Carmelo Anthony – Denver
Kobe Bryant – Los Angeles (Lakers)
Chris Paul – New Orleans
Yao Ming – Houston
Reserves:
Tim Duncan – San Antonio
Manu GInobili – San Antonio
Pau Gasol – Los Angeles (Lakers)
Blake Griffin – Los Angeles (Clippers)
Dirk Nowitzki – Dallas
Russell Westbrook – Oklahoma City
Deron Williams – Utah
I don’t care how much of a national hero he is, Yao Ming needs to be banned from the voting at this point. There’s no way he’s going to play in this game and frankly I almost forgot that he is even still an NBA player. Most notably, the reserve selectors made a huge error in ignoring Kevin Love and LaMarcus Aldridge. How could they possibly give Tim Duncan the spot over Aldridge who is averaging 21 and 9, let alone Kevin Love who is averaging 21 AND 15 REBOUNDS. If that isn’t All-Star caliber play, I don’t know what is. The selectors have done more than just ignore a great player in Love (who will probably get a spot when Yao Ming decides he can’t play) but have left out a player who might not be that popular but more than deserves the recognition that comes with an All-Star spot. They have failed to perform their role in the only even semi-important aspect of the All-Star game, a roster of players who represent the best and most popular players from the season and will be remembered as the top performers of 2010-11.

Nothing Can Really Make Protective Goggles Not Goofy Looking

2011-01-28T23:47:00.000-08:00

"These Are Protective I Swear"
OK, maybe DWade's goggles aren't this stupid looking, but they are unnecessarily stylish and I think this is becoming a trend in the league.
Dwyane Wade is the prime example of an NBA player that has done everything he can to transcend the role of athlete and influence social trends and fashion. First there was the armoresque spandex and undershirts, which I was willing to believe had some sort of actual in-game use that warranted the ridiculous iron-man look that it gave him. DWade was also at the forefront of the leggings movement that rose to popularity a couple of seasons ago, in which premier players began to wear spandex under their shorts that went all the way down to their socks, giving Kobe a Peter Pan look every time the Lakers wore purple.
But then, in the beginning of the end, Dwyane Wade was seen wearing a customized Band-Aid under his eye at the All-Star game. I might be out of touch with what’s “hot in the streets” but I know enough to realize that unnecessary bandages as accessory hasn’t been cool since Nelly’s “Must Be the Money” was number one. This brings me to the point of this article: Dwyane Wade’s new goggles are just another fashion statement masked as necessary athletic accessory. Let’s go over the facts.
In last night’s game Wade wore protective eye goggles, something players in the NBA have been doing for decades, but pseudo athlete/celebrity that he is, he felt the need to wear a tinted, “fashionable” version. The original design was banned, because defenses couldn’t see his eyes, but he still got away with wearing fairly trendy, sunglass goggles.
Ultimately, I don’t really have a problem with players taking an extra step to look stylish on the court, but when it trickles down and high school players unnecessarily wear full leggings and buy $50 nike shooting sleeves it seems as if players are trying a little too hard to stand out and seem fashionable, especially when their accessories don’t really help any aspect of their game.

I'm Back... Well, At Least For One Post

2011-01-26T09:20:00.000-08:00

This Is Still the Bulls Comeback, Not the Wizards One

If anybody is still reading this, which would be a huge surprise considering my last post was over two years ago, I’ve got good news for you: my triumphant return to blogging has arrived. Now, a lot has happened in my absence, so let’s quickly review.
1) The Lakers won back-to-back championships. This represents my least favorite thing about the NBA and what I think is the main reason some are losing interest in it. The Lakers, Spurs, Celtics and Magic are among the perennial winners in the league and they are also (probably not coincidentally) the most boring teams to watch. It’s not that good basketball has to be boring, i.e. the current Thunder, but it almost seems like David Stern, TNT and ESPN are all conspiring together to give the dullest teams the most exposure. It’s unfortunate for most fans that this is the case, but it does give us all the opportunity to watch Adam Morrison ride the bench like a consummate professional each season.
2) Some big name players have changed teams and a few franchises have undergone some serious personnel and image changes (luckily Chris Paul is still on the Hornets so I won’t need to update my banner). The biggest move that comes to mind, and one that promises to go down as one of the biggest blockbusters in NBA history, is LeBron’s move to Miami. He was accompanied by Chris Bosh, but at this point in the season it’s becoming clear that in order to be considered a relevant All-Star Bosh would have to remain on a mediocre team. Until the playoffs arrive and we see how far the Heat are able to go, all discussions about LeBron’s arrogance, betrayal and legacy are pointless, but to me the true “move of the offseason” is the new face of the Knicks. Even though Amare will probably never be able to lead a team single-handedly deep into the playoffs, it is clear from the play of Wilson Chandler, Raymond Felton and Danilo Gallinari that Stoudemire has brought with him an attitude that the Knicks desperately needed.
3) The dunk contest remains lame and will continue to be lame until Chase Budinger wins (see video at bottom). The NBA also needs to institute a rule banning stupid costumes and props.
In short, it seems the NBA has been able to continue business even in my absence, but with the rebirth of GRG a new golden age will undoubtedly begin in professional basketball.

Big Fraiser Hopes To Become Big GM?

2008-10-25T09:42:00.001-07:00

"What Does GM Stand For?"

In the few exciting days before the NBA season begins, one question is on everybody's mind. Would Shaq make an effective General Manager?
If you haven't already heard, Big Fraiser plans on purchasing the Orlando Magic with fellow washed up Phoenix Sun, Grant Hill. The fact that people don't actually know that Shaq would be the worlds worst GM is the only thing that makes this story actually interesting. Sure, he's been in the L for about 35 years and he's on a first name basis with pretty much every player that has been in the NBA in that time, but frankly... Shaq is an idiot. I hate to say it, but it's just my opinion. He was the most dominant college and professional basketball player to play in the last 20 years and he has more rings than most people could ever imagine but I just don't think he has been able to learn the intricacies of running a professional sports franchise in between becoming a certified deputy sheriff and the semi-serious commitment of playing 82 basketball games a year.
I may be wrong in assuming that Shaq thinks the job of General Manager entails hanging out with Grant Hill and going to the Dunk Contest once a year, but I honestly don't think he quite understands what he's getting himself into. It's great that Shaq wants to continue to be involved in the NBA, and no one is happier than I am that he wants to end his painfully dwindling career as a player, but I'm predicting a failure. You heard it here first.

Why Do I Keep Writing About Darrell Arthur? Because I Went To All That Trouble Figuring Out How To Spell His Name

2008-10-10T07:05:00.000-07:00

"What Was My Favorite Class In High School? Uhhh... Square Dancing? Is That A Class?"

Sadly, Grizzlies' Rookie Darrell Arthur is making headlines again, this time because his former high school district has re-opened the investigation into whether or not he ever received enough credits to graduate. If the district discovers that he failed to legitimately graduate from South Oak Cliff High School, Kansas could have to forfeit all games in which he participated. This is particularly concerning given that Arthur was a pivotal player in the Jayhawk's victory over Memphis in the National Championship game this past year. Darrell Arthur could be responsible for the recision of a National Title and ruining the legacy of all his teammates, but it worked out for Chris Webber, so maybe it's not all bad.
I've always had a problem with the confusing restrictions the NCAA puts on a player's eligibility, and a lot of blame lies on the school for allowing Arthur to graduate without sufficient credits, but it's hard to argue with the punishment in this situation. If he shouldn't have been eligible to play in the first place, and given that he was a pretty important player in most of the games, Kansas did not win a legitimate title.
Arthur just made headlines for his expulsion from the NBA Rookie Transition program for alleged drug use, and this only adds to a negative image for someone that has yet to play in a single game. I hope that regardless of the outcome of the investigation, Arthur can create a better image for himself once he actually becomes an NBA player.

Baron Davis Better Cool It Now

2008-09-27T08:31:00.000-07:00

You may have already seen this video but if you haven't, you have no idea what you're missing. Basically Baron Davis is the funniest human being alive and clearly doesn't care how ridiculous he looks.

Josh Howard's Protégé's Mentor... Josh Howard

2008-09-17T16:59:00.001-07:00

"Wait, So You're Telling Me That No Black People Celebrate The National Anthem?"

As some of you might know, I recently posted an article about how some NBA up-and-comers have been exhibiting some less than model behavior. Well, this should come as no surprise given their role model is Josh Howard. After having a notable career at Wake Forest (and receiving an honorary "Josh Howard Day" in Winston-Salem), Josh Howard was undervalued in the draft and is currently employed as a standout player on the Dallas Mavericks. Unfortunately, he made headlines when he readily admitted to the use of marijuana in the off season.
Of course, I am not expending my 101st post spot to just rehash Howard's past (reHASH, get it?). He made headlines, or at least internet toolbars, again with some comments about the National Anthem he made during Allen Iverson's charity flag football game. During the song, he told a cell phone camera that, "'The Star-Spangled Banner' is going on. I don't celebrate this [expletive]. I'm black.'"

This comment is offensive and wrong on so many levels that I won't even bother to report on them here. I really like Howard as a player and he seems like a nice enough guy, but the media stories he is creating are making me reconsider my opinion of him.
Josh Howard, as you read this (which I'm sure you will be doing), I want to warn you that you are on very thing ice here and if you don't stop all this noise, you will lose your favor with GRG. That should straighten things out.

It's Gonna Be Me... Who Breaks My Knee Getting Off The Couch

2008-09-10T18:22:00.000-07:00

The Portland Trailblazer's 2nd year rookie, Greg Oden (an avid reader of this blog), must have seen Shaq's wildly successful freestyle video, because he has produced a musical work of art himself. His album, entitled "Gregory Covers Allegro Moderato - Tres Doux", is set to drop in early 2009.

Fun fact, Greg Oden was actually one of the original members of N'Sync. He was that one with frosted tips.

Josh Howard's Protégés?

2008-09-05T11:20:00.000-07:00

Recent NCAA Tournament champions, Darrell Arthur and Mario Chalmers, were caught with marijuana and asked to leave the mandatory "rookie transition" seminar in a New York-area resort. They have been banned from the entire rookie transition program, will be fined $20,000 and are subject to any punishment that their individual teams decide to implement.
Initially, this is really disappointing from two players who have a very bright future in the NBA, but according to Darrell Arthur, he wasn't involved in any situations involving marijuana. This is a pretty standard claim to make once you've been accused of possession, but the lack of evidence against the two has me questioning if this punishment is too severe.
Security claims that Arthur and Chalmers initially refused them entry into their room, at which point the police became involved. They found women and "evidence of marijuana use" a little bit after 3 a.m. on Wednesday. Officially, they were kicked out for having prohibited visitors, as no actual drugs were found.
It's one thing to kick the players out for having visitors that they knew they couldn't have, but adding a $20,000 fine seems a little excessive given that there's no proof of drug use. I'll admit to being a little biased for Arthur and Chalmers, given that they seem like good guys. If Ron Artest or Chris Anderson were caught in this situation, I would probably assume their were some dead guys in the closet as well.

Breaking News!

2008-09-02T20:09:00.000-07:00

This tiny basketball is the most revealing piece of NBA related evidence since the plaintiff's underwear in the Kobe case:

This is a ball allegedly released by the new Oklahoma City franchise and it reveals a) the name, b) the logo and c) their crazy idea to have their players use a toy basketball. How could these 6'8" athletes even dribble or shoot it? Despite its obvious flaws, I actually commend the Thunder (name pending) for making this bold move. What better way to make a splash in your first year as a franchise than change what is possibly the most fundamental part of the game?

What's Spanish For "Wunderkind"?

2008-08-25T11:41:00.000-07:00

"Tastes Like A Silver Medal"

The biggest basketball related story of the 2008 Beijing Olympics isn't how the US totally dominated every opponent. I'm pretty sure everyone saw that coming. The most intriguing player was Spanish 17 year-old Ricky Rubio. Now, I've been a fan of this player since he was in SLAM a year ago, but he had a chance to highlight his skills against the worlds elite and he proved himself a legitimate future NBA talent.
This phenom has an incredible basketball IQ, unbelievable court vision and he was able to shine on a team filled with current NBA players who were playing America's finest at a high-school age. Draftexpress.com has him ranked as the number one pick in next years draft and as far as I can tell, that would be a solid choice. His highlight tape won't be filled with dunks but, given his age, there are some incredible defensive plays and an experience level well beyond his years on display. Also, it's accompanied by R.Kelly's epic, "The World's Greatest"

Stop Euro-Stealing Our Players

2008-08-08T10:23:00.001-07:00

I am seriously tired of all the NBA stars who will be “going to Europe in 2010” or whatever. Actually scratch that, they’re all going to be going to the same team, Olympiakos (Greece) in the future. It’s true that European clubs have no salary cap, and sure Olympiakos might be owned by two billionaire brothers (pictured below)…

…but still, they can’t possibly employ Kobe, LeBron and Dwayne Wade each for 50 million dollars a year. Even if they could, do you really think any of those superstars would be willing to move themselves and their family to a foreign country where they don’t speak the language or know the location of the hottest nightclubs?
It’s one thing when Josh Childress, Earl Boykins and Carlos Arroyo or geared up to leave the U.S. but NBA players who can actually find employment here would be more inclined to stay.
I’ll admit that global branding would probably be improved by, you know, going around the globe, but it’s not like Nike and Adidas don’t use these guys overseas to sell sneakers.
Call me old fashioned but I just don’t see superstars leaving the NBA, even if it means 30 million more a year in salary. It would be kind of like when David Beckham came over here. Sure he makes more money, and it got us sort of excited about soccer for a little bit, but ultimately he sacrificed being in a country where people really cared about what he did on the field. Besides, the Europeans have a very different definition of athletics than we do:

Gil's Grotto

2008-07-30T13:17:00.000-07:00

What does the man who just signed a contract for 111 million dollars buy? A million dollar grotto. Between his Wizards paycheck and lucrative T.V. show deal with Cartoon Network, Gilbert Arenas has been able to buy himself possibly the most affluent pool ever constructed. The grotto is set to feature three fish tanks, a cliff face and a basement in which Agent Zero can watch all his game film on a phat plasma. Here are some pics:

Here is easily the best feature of the grotto. Gil has commissioned a mural of himself sitting in front of the white house with a pit bull. God bless America.

Greetings From The 2008 NBA Rookie Photo Shoot!

2008-07-30T10:24:00.001-07:00

As usual, the NBA has taken the time to showcase their new rookies in a delightful photo shoot. Last year the result was some sort of weird music video where everyone was still into leaning with it and rocking with it (http://gamewreckgame.blogspot.com/2007/08/you-cant-keep-them-from-dancing.html). This year, GRG invites you to enjoy the event slideshow style.

Does Anthony Randolph's head always look like this? I'm pretty sure it's been squeezed.

It appears that the camera has caught Russell Westbrook in the middle of supermaning that OHHHHHH!

Haha Kosta Koufos. No joke here... no joke needed.

Usually these pictures are action shots or at least set up to make the players look tough. All Donte Greene seems to be missing is a bear skin rug and a fireplace behind him.

Look how sad JaVale McGee is. He can't be comfortable on that itty bitty stool. Giving him that was just cruel.

Somebody Out There Really Hates Kobe Bryant

2008-07-10T17:50:00.000-07:00

For reading my opinions about things over the years, you've earned you some tube:

MVP? Yeah of Fire Island!

The Most Eventful Off-Season Since Last Off-Season!

2008-07-10T17:38:00.000-07:00

The Next Charles Barkley? He's Chubby Enough

In an off-season that will in no way come close to rivaling last years (remember that whole KG/Ray Allen trade thing?) some interesting things have actually been happening. Our rivals at the Last Word (dsa31891.blogspot.com) have taken the time to write entire articles about each trade…borrriiinnngg. Here’s a quick snippet with some of my thoughts:

Elton Brand coming to Philly: I am generally a pessimistic person when it comes to the Sixers making trades and whatnot, but I can’t help but be excited about this. Although he’s almost 30 and coming off a pretty serious injury, the Rubber Brand Man is pretty much a guaranteed 20 and 10 player and he can only help a young team trying to advance in the playoffs.

Jermaine O’Neal going to Toronto: I’ve always thought O’Neal was an overrated player and I can’t see the Raptors going too far in the post season now that they have him. More notably, they lost T.J. Ford in the trade and have to upgrade Calderon to a starter without a decent backup. Calderon was better than Ford this past year but it might have had something to do with Al Horford breaking T.J.’s back by slamming him into the floor.

Clippers signing Baron Davis: This is clearly a good job by the Clippers and I can see Davis remaining an impact player for a few more years and maybe making the playoffs again if some of the younger players work out. I can’t help but assume that Davis was pretty mad when Brand decided to leave, but the Clippers have still had a pretty good offseason so far.

The offseason is far from over and the Lakers are still trying to fit in a blockbuster deal. They offered a Lamar-Odom-for-Ron-Artest trade to Sacramento which seems pretty lopsided to me. Artest can be considered one of the 10 best players in the League when he is performing to his potential and Lamar Odom is bald. Odom is a decent player but Artest is definitely better in every way. I can’t say what the Kings will end up doing but they can tick off the entire Western Conference by agreeing to the trade.

Can You Believe Shaq's Album Only Went Gold?

2008-06-23T19:59:00.000-07:00

"I Love It When You Call Me Big Cactus"
Our favorite MC Shaq Diesel (aka Shaquille O'Neal (aka Big Fraiser)) is at it again, dissing former teammate Kobe Bryant in a freestlye preformed at some night club. Luckily, TMZ was there to capture the whole thing and put it up on the interweb for everyone to enjoy. You can check the video out, or skip it and read the important parts:

You know how I be
Last week, Kobe couldn't be without me
I'm a horse Kobe ratted me out
That's why I'm getting divorced
I love 'em
I don't leave 'em
I got a vasectomy, now I can't breed 'em
Chorus: Kobe *expletive*, tell me how my *expletive* tastes

A verbal beat down if I've ever heard one. Sure, Kobe was MVP and it seems like Shaq is in need of help while the Lakers won the West, and no, Shaq's vasectomy isn't relevant, but still... ouch. Of course, Shaq claims he could hardly help but preform a clearly rehearsed and planned rap for a group of people while being filmed, "I was freestyling. That's all. It was all done in fun. Nothing serious whatsoever. That is what MC's do. They freestyle when called upon". He was called upon, ok? Like what, he was just gonna sit there and not freestyle about Kobe? He's an MC people! While Stephen A. Smith and ESPN might criticize this move, GRG praises Shaq for having the guts to say what we were all thinking: What does Shaq's expletive taste like?
I'm just concerned about the inevitable comeback track from camp Kobe. If it's as hot as what Shaq provided, we could have another Tupac/Biggie situation on our hands.

In Case You Didn't Know, Basketball Was Also Played In The 80's

2008-06-05T19:45:00.000-07:00

Wait a Second... These Are the Same Teams That Are Playing Now!
I’m sure you all want to hear my opinions on the most exciting NBA Finals in recent memory, which currently has the Lakers up 51-46 at the half in Game 1. Well you can go to ESPN for that generic, “journalistic" stuff. Oh, this is the first time these teams have met since 1987? I had no idea, Stuart Scott, thanks a billion for that. What’s that you say Michael Wilbon? These are the two teams that once employed Magic Johnson and Larry Bird? They were rivals? Now the teams are playing again, many, many years later? Amazing!
Despite the Entertainment Sports Programming Network’s best efforts to beat the point to death, this series is pretty interesting. I mean how close was it to being Detroit vs. San Antonio? If that had happened, GRG would have been converted to a hockey blog. I bet David Stern rigged the games just to avoid a 7 game series that seems like it goes on for 40 games. Here’s a look at what could have been but (thank God) was not:
Rasheed Wallace: Internal combustion. Makes a profanity riddled criticism of Brent Barry’s dunk contest victory.
Tim Duncan: Sets a new NBA record for bank shots. Annoying old guys claim to appreciate his irksome fundamentals. I commit suicide when suddenly realizing this is what got the Spurs their collection of rings.
Bruce Bowen: Reaches the career milestone of 400 billion flops. Realizes that, by never scoring a single point in his career, all his rings are tainted and undeserved. Cries himself to sleep for the remaining 35 years of his life.
Tony Parker: He’s actually pretty good at basketball and has an amazing life… IN FRANCE! Ha ha, sucker.
So, instead of that, we have Kobe potentially dunking on KG and vice versa. I don’t really plan on live blogging any games, or giving breakdowns, but I can refer you to “The Television” or “The Newspaper” for that info. If something funny happens, I’ll put that up for you, but pretty much I’m just getting ready for the draft. With Joe Alexander and Chase Buddinger coming out, the new era of the high flying white boy will be ushered in. The prophecy is fulfilled!

I Know I've Never Heard of Him

2008-06-02T09:05:00.000-07:00

Shaq Who?

The media’s connection with the NBA has officially reached over-the-top status. It was bad enough when any idiot could guarantee the public a victory in the playoffs (i.e. Jameer Nelson) but now, a Chicago radio show is willing to listen to some no name kid claim that he can take the Suns all the way one day. His name is something like Shakeel O’Kneel (spelling???) and I, for one, find it hard to believe that his name will be remembered, despite his claims to the contrary, "I think I can do enough to still get us there to win. . . . I will go out with a bang. My name will be remembered."
Considering I don’t even know who the heck he is now, I doubt I will be able to remember him when he retires. Maybe some of you recognize him for his more common name, Big Cactus. When asked about why this unknown role player chose such a strange nickname, he responded, "If you show anybody a cactus, they know what it is worldwide. There are 100 different types of cactus. Nobody knows its origin. You don't have to give it water, but it's known worldwide. And if you grab one, you will get hurt."

So NBA players out there beware because when you square off against this no name you should know:
a) Not to touch him
b) Don’t bother to try and understand his origin
c) Don’t expect him to stop to drink any water

It's Been A While, So Listen To My Stream of Consciousness

2008-05-20T19:10:00.001-07:00

"We Won't Have To Take Another Joakim Noah This Year"

In honor of the new, edgy Game Recognize Game format, I actually watched the NBA Draft Lottery today so that I could filter the 30 minutes it takes to the 2 minutes of actually necessary information for you. The draft picks landed as follows:

1) Chicago Bulls
2) Miami Heat
3) Minnesota Timberwolves
4) Seattle Supersonics
5) Memphis Grizzlies
6) New York Knicks
7) L.A. Clippers
8) Milwaukee Bucks
9) Charlotte Bobcats
10) New Jersey Nets
11) Indiana Pacers
12) Sacremento Kings
13) Portland Trail Blazers
14) Golden State Warriors

That right there is a list you can find almost anywhere else starting tomorrow, but here are some fun facts that can only be supplied by GRG (after I copy them from somewhere else).

Chicago had a 1.7 percent chance of winning, but everyone else can take solace in the fact that they still don’t have a head coach.

Jay-Z represented New Jersey during the lottery. H to the Izzo didn’t exactly look natural flanked by the infamous moustaches of Larry Bird and Mike D’Antoni, but I expect to see more of him after he moves the Nets to Crooklyn and takes the head coaching job.

Some young Timberwolves fan who has had over 100 surgeries gave the representative his teddy bear to bring for good luck. The Twolves proceeded to get the 3rd pick… thanks for nothing God.

A season ticket holder who won a sweepstakes represented the Kings. She got the 12th pick and I promise they’ll never hold that sweepstakes again.

Anyway, this season isn’t even over yet and I hope the Spurs know that almost everyone outside of San Antonio is disappointed that they beat New Orleans. I can only hope the Lakers will pull some of these shenanigans to make the series at least a little interesting:

Subscribe to what?

Barack OBallin'

2008-04-03T19:32:00.000-07:00

In case it wasn’t clear that Barack Obama is the “hip” presidential candidate, he announced on WFNI 1070 that if elected he would replace the White House’s bowling alley with a basketball court, “There’s not only a chance, but it’s a guarantee.”. Apparently this guy took his Hawaii high school team to a 1979 state championship. Given, his state was Hawaii… but still, not too shabby. In fact that here’s some video evidence of his skills:

I’m sure Obama was good back in the day, but he has some pretty offensive comments for some big time players. He said that Indiana’s Eric Gordon “could use some guidance.” Yeah, sure you could probably improve his international policy Barack, but I don’t know if he’s about to come over to your house for some dribbling tips. Then, Obama went on to undercut the GOAT, “I was No. 23 before Michael Jordan was 23.” Oh you’re probably right, Mike probably wore it to rep you. But Obama surely doesn’t think he has NBA talent, right? Well, he described himself as “a slasher, a three, maybe a poor man’s Scottie Pippen or Tayshaun Prince – a guy like that without as much talent.” I see right through your clever campaign tactics, remaining neutral and humbling yourself. We all know you think Prince and Pippen are bums and you could do better.
Through his arrogant tirade, I got the sense that Obama has at least a little respect for the games greats. That’s why I suggest these players as select members of his potential cabinet:

-Kobe Bryant: Ambassador to White Girls
-Shaquille O’Neal: Select Surgeon General for Obese Children
-Stephon Marbury: Any job in the Department of Education

Those are just some suggestions, but all I’m saying is, if Obama is elected he will bring his slashing and his three to the White House, but I don’t know how well his flair for the smack talk will go with the Middle East.

Why Bother Recovering For The NBA When You Can Be A Street Legend?

2008-03-28T19:36:00.000-07:00

"I Could Totally Beat This Guy"
Sorry for my long absence, but I knew it was the perfect time to put in my bid for the black/female democratic vote for president here in PA… it didn’t go too well.
Greg Oden has been busy too. Apparently, he was running some ball at the local Y, an activity I can only assume wasn’t mandated by the Trailblazers. The story goes that Oden went to a 24-hour fitness spot in Tualatin, Oregon where he played a couple games with the locals. Then, one such local came home and blogged about it:

“I just got home from the 24 hour fitness in Tualatin where I played in a pickup game with Greg Oden. He played two games, and obviously he dominated.”

This was all to the chagrin of the Trailblazer staff. Coach McMillan said, “In a couple of years he will understand how stupid that was… you just can't do that.” Personally, I don’t see why the coach is so mad. According to the blogger, NateBishop3, he dominated, dominated. I think more NBA players should test their talents in the streets, against the true, hardworking, tough talent found at Bailey Total Fitness or in the Chacatowa Elementary School or something. As far as I’m concerned, it’s the only way to prove you’re good enough for the NBA, to show people that all those dunks and blocks on ESPN aren’t a bunch of smoke and mirrors.
And imagine how NateBishop3 felt. I bet it was something like this (props to the always hilarious “My Wife and Kids” for the clip):

I mean, you’re in the gym, probably just finished with the stair master, stopped over at the court to practice your granny-style free throws, and in walks Greg Oden:

You:*banks free throw* Yessssss, just like mama used to make.
*Greg Oden walks in*
You: *dancing* OMG OMG THAT’S GREG ODEN!!!!!!!
Greg: Whatup b, you tryin’ to run some ball?
You: Wow, you’re face looks even worse in real life… I mean, ya I’d heart to play.
*Greg proceeds to dunk over you 8-10 times*
*He beats you 74-0 even though the game was to 11*
You: That was a super game Greg, thanks a thousand!!!!
Greg: I won! I won! Coach is gonna be soooo proud!
*You go home and take a 5-hour nap in a bathtub full of ice, then blog about the game*

Anyway, if you thought Greg Oden was some sort of fro-hawk rocking, weight-lifting, knee-breaking idiot, his decision to risk all the progress he’s made to recover from his season ending injury to prove he’s better than that smelly old guy at the Jewish Community Center gym should change your mind.

UCLA Steals The Game From Stanford, With A Little Help From The Refs

2008-03-08T12:21:00.000-08:00

In the first replay since 1982, the NBA is allowing the Heat and the Hawks to play the final 51.9 seconds from December 19th over again. The Heat demanded the replay after Shaq was benched with a reported 6 fouls, even though he only had 5. The Hawks won the game thanks to their satiations error, but the replay idea reeks of stupidity since Shaq won’t play in this game either. Instead of a “replay” of the final 51.9 seconds of a previous game, this becomes, basically, a 52 second game between two different teams.
But I say, let them do whatever they want. In fact, more games should only be 52 seconds long, especially ones between Atlanta and Miami. Plus, the replay brings some interesting possibilities. As I wasn’t around in 1982, I’ve never really considered the idea of giving the end of a game another go because of a decisive mistake on the part of the officials, but now that I think about it, these things should happen more often. Case in point, Stanford vs. UCLA yesterday.
As UCLA guard Nick Collison drove through the lane with 3 seconds left in the 2nd, he got blocked by Stanford’s Lawrence Hill, sealing victory for the Cardinal’s who were up 63-61. Notice how I said that Collison got blocked by Hill. Blocked: When you reject a shot by stopping the ball on its way up, without making any contact with the shooter. That’s what happened. In fact, I encourage you to look for yourself:

Hill doesn’t touch Collison, who ended up going to the line, hitting both shots and sending the game to overtime where the Bruin’s won. This is a bad call anytime, but it becomes actually offensive when made at the last second in a game that goes a long way in deciding the PAC-10 Champion.
I didn’t actually see this game live, but I’ve heard that bad calls were abundant throughout. Regardless, deciding to dish out a make-up call on the classic, last-second, decisive play is pretty suspicious [insert Donaghy joke]. I used to think that the NCAA was free of favoritism, as long as UNC wasn’t playing anyway.

This Is The Easiest Job Ever. Well, It Would Be If I Got Paid.

2008-02-22T16:10:00.001-08:00

Knock Knock
Who's There?
Bam:

What is it with the fro-hawk these days?

There's A New 3rd Best Team In The East. Oh Wait, I Guess Nothing Changed.

2008-02-22T08:05:00.000-08:00

What Do These Guys Have In Common? They Won't Be Dunked On By LeBron Anymore

In classic form, the NBA took the last 45 seconds before 3 o’clock yesterday to make as many pointless and confusing trades as possible before the deadline. Dallas has Jason Kidd, Atlanta has Mike Bibby and the Suns have some unknown young gun whose dreams could take him to the top. One of the most complicated trades came in a three-way blockbuster between Chicago, Seattle and Cleveland. Cleveland got Ben Wallace, Joe Smith, Delonte West and Wally Szczerbiak and sent Larry Hughes and Drew Gooden to Chicago and Donyell Marshall to Seattle. Before analyzing this trade, I think you should all take a look at the conversation preceding it:

February 21, 2008 2:45 P.M.
Chicago: *Ring Ring* Hello?
Cleveland: Hey Chicago, it’s me, Cleveland.
Chicago: Oh, ‘sup.
Cleveland: Not much, LeBron is crying about how bad his team is. As if he doesn’t get to play with Ira Newble.
Chicago: Ah, it all becomes clear, you must be calling about Thabo Sefolosha.
Cleveland: Uh, yeah I was thinking more like Ben Wallace and Joe Smith for Larry Hughes and Drew Gooden?
Chicago: *Pumps Fist* OH YEAH! Kiss your spot goodbye Hinrich!
Cleveland: Uh, yeah. Any chance I could dump Donyell Marshall on you, too?
Chicago: Yeah, right. That guy can’t even dress himself. Throw him at Seattle.
Seattle: *Over Enthusiastically* Hey guys, whassuuuuuuup?!
Cleveland: Hey bud, we were just wondering if you’d like Donyell Marshall. He’s averaging 16 and 10 (in 2003).
Seattle: Gosh, really?! Yeah jeez of course. Here, take some key players from my young nucleus that I totally revamped my team to create.
Cleveland: *Snickering* K, see you at the Finals. *Starts Laughing Uncontrollably and Hangs Up*
Seattle: What a nice guy.

Ok so now that you know what happened, here’s the significance. Cleveland got a lot better. I don’t care about fitting in with the team style blah blah blah. Anytime that you can trade Larry Hughes (who has been playing well recently but so has Joe Smith) and Drew Gooden and get a solid power forward (in Smith), an over 40% 3-point shooter (in Wally), a good young point guard (Delonte) who can fill in for Daniel Gibson while he’s hurt and one of the best defenders in the NBA (Ben Wallace). I hate to say it but Big Z just wasn’t getting it done in Cleveland defensively and starting Ben Wallace at the 4 should help. Wally really spreads the floor, giving room for LeBron, and Delonte West isn’t a shabby pickup either. And if you don’t think that having Joe Smith is a step up from Anderson Varejao, you’re crazy.
Chicago also made a good trade, assuming they gave up on getting a title this year. Drew Gooden is a solid scorer and rebounder and Larry Hughes still has a little left in the tank. I don’t know what they plan to do with Hughes, Hinrich and Gordon together but they really can’t all play at the same time. Ben Wallace wasn’t doing anything for Chicago and definitely not enough to help them out of their 21-32 season.
I really have no idea what Seattle is doing here. I guess they’re clearing a lot of cap room and getting ready to sign some expensive free agents over the summer, but they’ve definitely given up on the whole “rebuilding stage” idea. They throw Kurt Thomas over to the Spurs and get the aging Brent Barry. They get rid of Delonte West and Wally Howdoyouspellit and take Donyell Marshall in return. I just feel bad for whatever big time free agent the Supersonics sign, because this team is going nowhere fast.

He's Throwing Towels! Can He Do That?

2008-02-20T13:09:00.000-08:00

This is just perfect. I mean, I really don’t have to do any work when I’m given a YouTube video like this. What you’ll see here is a little in-huddle fight between a couple of New York Knicks, Zach Randolph and Nate Robinson. Just when you thought things couldn’t get any worse in New York, the players don’t even bother to pretend they like each other anymore. It’s really like the players just thought I wasn’t updating my site enough and wanted to give me something easy to show everyone.

Two more things:
1) They actually won this game. Maybe the Knicks should throw water on each other more.
2) I have no idea what that girl is doing at the end of the video so don’t ask me (but if you must know, yes I love EBS too).

Shaq Has An(other) Illegitimate Son?

2008-02-04T17:37:00.000-08:00

"Whatever You Do, Don't Put Out An Album"

I understand that it might be a little hard to notice these days, but Dwight Howard is a lot like Shaq. I mean, a lot like him. You’ve all seen last years All-Star dance contest, but these two have more in common then just YouTube take over. The fact that they were both selected first overall to Orlando should say something. All this talk about how Dwight Howard is a clear superstar who is still so raw and has so much room for improvement sounds a lot like Shaq’s hype back in ’96. In fact, lets look at ’96 a little bit closer. Shaq was 26 points with 11 rebounds and 2 blocks, shooting 57% from the field in his 4th season. Shooting might not be the best word. Big Fraiser basically dunked it every single time. Sounds a lot like Dwight Howard. In this, Howard’s 4th season, Dwight is averaging 22 points, 14 rebounds 2 blocks and he’s shooting (more like dunking) at about 59%. Aside from stats, position and ability, it’s important to remember that Shaq was just about the goofiest big man ever when he came into the league. These days Dwight Howard is dancing, joking and smiling into all of our hearts. Still, to really get a sense of how similar these two are, you really have to watch them play. Here’s a video that allows you to do just that. (For the record, I thought of this before I found the video).

So what does this mean for the future of Dwight? He'll play with the Lakers until Kobe gets jealous and ships him off.

Making History Is Not Always A Good Thing

2008-02-02T18:20:00.001-08:00

He's Only 7'5" Without Shoes On

2008-01-10T16:07:00.000-08:00

As you probably know, UNC played one of their signature pointlessly easy games against UNC-Asheville last night and it was as boring as expected… except for Kenny George. At 7’6” George is the tallest player to ever play Division I basketball and he's coming off the bench. To go with his height he has 360 lbs and no skill. He got dunked on by Tyler “Basketball? I Thought This Was The UFC” Hansbrough and despite grabbing a rebound here and there George didn’t make much of an impact in the game.
My question is, why don’t they just run this play every single time. George would be 50% from the field, grab 50 of his own rebounds and score 100 points every game.

He doesn’t even have to jump.

Finally, A Reason To Hate On Hansbrough... Just Try And Keep Up With Me Here

2008-01-07T16:43:00.000-08:00

"C'mon! It's Clemson! CLEMSON! ARGH!"

Game Recognize Game has always been about the people. I’ve made it a point to give my legions of fans what they demand and it was with this mindset that I proceeded to investigate last nights UNC (1) vs. Clemson (19) game. You probably all know that UNC barely pulled it out, winning 90-88 on a last second three pointer from Wayne Ellington. These types of things happen all the time. Basketball, especially on the college level, is exciting thanks to these games, so what’s special about this one? It gives me a platform to hate on North Carolina, hopefully setting myself up for lots of angry comments.
First of all, I pose a simple question. Clemson? Really UNC? Clemson? Wow, that’s embarrassing. I mean, you’re the easy favorite to win the whole shebang and Celmson invites you over for a friendly game, where I’m sure they sold more blue and white shirts than home ones, and they actually take it into overtime.
Now that that’s out of the way, here’s why UNC gets on my nerves. When March Madness rolls around, whose bandwagon do you think that everyone is gonna hop on to? I mean, sure they’ve had a great program for many years and yeah, they’ll probably win it all this year but a UNC 15-0 record means nothing. Beating the likes of Penn, UCSB and Valparaiso hardly proves anything. It’s the same thing every season, beat a few terrible programs, maybe pull it out against Duke, grab a good spot in the tourney and lose.
So, I’m not impressed with their game against Clemson or the wins that have actually come as easily as they should have, but my big, BIG problem with UNC is Tyler Hansbrough. Here’s Tyler’s biography as I understand it:

-He was discovered as a pretty good player in middle school.
-He transferred to Basketball Academy where he was held back so he could continue to play basketball without worrying himself with math, literature, etc.
-He learned how to put his head down and throw up crazy layups, grabbing the attention of UNC.
-He got punched in the face by Gerald Henderson.
-He now is a 22 year-old Junior (yeah, that is a little old, huh?) who will have a strong career on the Atlanta Krunk CBA team.

So, let’s recap, UNC nearly got beaten by Clemson (a two point win off a last second 3 in overtime), 15-0 means nothing with their schedule (the best team they play besides Clemson is Duke) and they’re led by Tyler Hansbrough (22 year-old junior with a 5th grade education).
I leave you with this, which I watch to vent some of my frustrations from time to time:

Notice how Tyler times his readiness to confront Gerald Henderson so that it’s just too late. Pretty convenient, huh?

The Big East Is Wide Open This Year

2008-01-06T11:46:00.001-08:00

This season in college hoops presents some very strong clubs scattered throughout the country. Memphis, UCLA, UNC and Kansas clearly dominate their individual conferences and seem to be locks as champs. However, there is one league with some exciting underdogs who guarantee an exciting season. You know that Georgetown, Villanova, Pittsburgh and Marquette are good, but here are some teams you might not know about.

DePaul:
Draelon Burns and the Blue Demons proved my point but upsetting Big East powerhouse Villanova on Thursday. Now DePaul leads the league with a 2-0 record and hopes to surprise Georgetown too. Hey, anything is possible.

Notre Dame:
Surprisingly, Notre Dame beat Connecticut in an impressive performance by Luke Harangody, but the real surprise came from Kyle McAlarney who went 13-19 from the field for 32 points. They’re clearly able to stay in any game, and the unranked Irish only add to the competitive Big East.

West Virginia:
Notre Dame’s other win came against WVU, but the Mountaineers have little to worry about with Alex Ruoff and Joe Alexander as leaders. Ruoff is an experienced junior whose 16 points go well with 2 steals a game. Alexander leads the bigs with 15 points and 7 boards a game. Their first real test comes against Marquette who they are currently beating 21-14.

The Big East is one of the few leagues that is truly wide open and these teams are why, so look out.

Festival Of Lights... AT CLUB ELEMENT!

2007-12-21T13:33:00.000-08:00

"If You Like Matzah, Say Heyyy!"
It’s safe to say that the NBA is not a cultural melting pot. Sure, it brings some pretty impressive Asians over to the States, but there is one specific minority that I feel has been overlooked. Hanukkah passed without a single ‘Best Wishes’ or “Mazel Tov’ from Kobe, Lebron, Dikembe or anyone else. That is why I take it upon myself to wish all the Jews out there a happy belated holiday, with a little help from a Laker.
Jordan Farmar, the only person to ever play in an NBA D-League game and an actual NBA game in the same day, is one of only two Jewish players in the league, the other being David Bluthenthal of the Kings (did he even keep his spot on the team?). Although he never publicly announced that he wishes everyone a happy Jewish holiday, the sentiment is implied. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find a video message from Jordan, but I feel that this one gets the same message across.

So, from all of us here at Game Recognize Game, we wish you a safe and happy Hanukkah (even though it’s already over).

It's Been A Long Time

2007-12-18T17:24:00.000-08:00

After witnessing the Charlotte Bobcats’ woes during the short life of the franchise, we all knew it was only a matter of time before Managing Member of Basketball Operations (not a real job) Michael Jordan hopped on the court. Return of the Wizards era?
Apparently, Jordan played with the team today, for a “brief workout”. More like “teaching them the play in which they pass the ball to MJ”. The GOAT is taking the team over and he doesn’t care who he steps on to get there. McNasty? Out. Jason Richardson? Jason Benchedson. Gerald Wallace? Give him the Basketball Operations job. Despite being 44 years old, I’m pretty confident that Mike can win more games than the ‘Cats (8-14) and look good doing it.
Of course, I wouldn’t make outlandish claims such as a twice retired 44 year old playing himself without some evidence. Here’s what he said when asked about the empty roster spot on the team, “Nothing right now. We don’t want to just make a deal to make a deal because we have an empty space. If there is something out there that can add to this team and it’s economically worthwhile, we would look at it”. He doesn’t want to do anything about the open spot. Maybe because he already has it filled? It seems like playing someone who already has a management job is economically worthwhile. That’s enough evidence to stand up in any court.
The acquisition of Michael Jordan is one of the most powerful moves an NBA team can make, and personally, I will be surprised if the Lord of the Rings doesn’t add one more to his collection, or literally die trying.

He Likes The Bartender (Ooh If You're Lookin' For Keon Clark)

2007-12-15T20:38:00.000-08:00

"I Really Need To Learn
How To Hydrate Better"

Playing game after game in the NBA can’t be easy on anybody, let alone millionaire athletes, but retired player Keon Clark had an interesting way of dealing with it. "I never played a game sober, unfortunately," he said after being granted another hearing in Illinois. He was charged with possession of an unregistered gun and a controlled substance and was facing a 2 and a half year sentence before the judge’s decision to give him another shot. Apparently Keon was riding the booze monkey so hard that he drank at half time of every game. Despite this, he somehow averaged 8.2 points per game and 5.9 rebounds. Imagine how good this guy would be if he filled his cup with Gatorade. If the sauce helps Keon Clark’s game out, maybe some current players should try it out (I’m looking at you Deron Williams).

Oh, there you go. Wow, doublin’ up so he can be twice as good.

Who Divorces This Guy?

2007-12-03T17:37:00.000-08:00

Shaquille “Big Respect” O’Neal has always been a leader in the crusade against bullying. This has never been more evident than here, in a cut scene from SNL where he seems to protect and then serenade Will Farrell to sleep. Remember LeBron, Shaq was there first.

By upstaging Kelsey Grammer, I now deem Shaq “Big Frasier”.

From The Windows To The Walls: The Krunk Are All About Marburys

2007-11-26T18:46:00.001-08:00

"Atlanta, Here I Come"
First of all, this post has very little to do with Lil' Jon or even Atlanta really, so all those who googled "Atlanta Krunk" are not in the right place. Though I am known to both snap my fingers AND do my step, this post is actually about the Atlanta Krunk, the infamous CBA team.
It seems that the Kenny Anderson coached team has employed Zach Marbury, Stephon’s little brother, as their point guard. Now, I’m sure that Zach is a very capable point guard and in his defense he has yet to get in a fight with Isiah Thomas, but I find it hard to believe that Stephon is sponsoring the team with his clothing line AND Zach is running the point for a totally unrelated reason.
I don’t want to imply that the venerable Atlanta Krunk would give anyone underserved playing time, but I am suggesting that Stephon might get more of a say about who plays and who doesn’t than a sponsor should. Whether Zach got the job based on his skills, he's the team scoring and assist leader, or because his bro supplies the uniforms, a Marbury family dominated team is something I am very ready to see.
Hopefully the addition of And1’s ‘The Professor’ (that’s right, he’s signed on to join the CBA when his contract runs out) won’t disrupt the Atlanta Krunk, who might as well change their name to the ‘Marburyville Marburys’.

Where Self-Absorption Happens

2007-11-24T20:29:00.000-08:00

"Hey Everyone, Come And See How Good I Look!"

The NBA has recently become pretty full of itself, but with LeBron headlining TV and the entirety of China tuning in to watch Yao manhandle Yi, why shouldn’t they be? But, their ad campaign has become a little annoying. They show pictures of Kobe, Baron Davis and Nash and play some Michelle Branch-esque piano chord, ending each ad with the slogan “Where Amazing Happens”. Kulapuch1 of YouTube has produced a line of commercials that should be airing the same month that Marbury’s shoes are released in stores that anyone has ever heard of. (Get it? Never!).

My Amazing Journey: Chris Webber

2007-11-19T17:55:00.000-08:00

Here That? That's The Sound Of 30
NBA Teams Not Wanting You

What ever happened to Chris Webber? His career is pretty hard to remember so I'll map it out for you:

1) Ruined The Fab 5 legacy at Michigan by accepting 17 purple Hummers from his agent
2) Made a decent career out of hook shots and losing to Kobe in Sacramento
3) Ruined the Sixers by forgetting to bring his knees along with him in the trade
4) Produced a Nas song
5) Seemed to be revitalized with the Pistons
6) Was maybe gonna play for an Italian team

After an impressive career like that, I'm surprised nobody wants this guy... In any case he actually used to be pretty sick and my favorite YouTube director, Yinka Dare, supplies a mix that highlights Webber's skills and whining ability complimented with some Gang Starr:

Back To School: 2007-2008 College Info

2007-11-16T20:08:00.000-08:00

"Tell 'Em, Pete"

It might be a little late, but check the opinions about college basketball this season. This year isn’t dominated by any annoyingly over hyped players (cough, cough Greg) but some freshmen are looking to make a big impact. There isn’t one clearly dominant team (cough, cough Florida) but plenty of squads are on the verge of greatness. Here are some thoughts:

-Team Rankings-
1) UCLA: Arron Afflalo will be sorely missed, but Kevin Love is more than ready to fill his spot. A less than stellar PAC-10 will help this team get a good seed, not that they’ll need it.

2) Georgetown: These guys will (hopefully) prove that the Princeton offense can actually contend for a national title and their stellar defense won’t hurt. Roy Hibbert is one of the top college players and he’s backed up by capable guards in Tyler Crawford and Jonathon Wallace and role-players in Patrick Ewing Jr. and Jessie Sapp.

3) Memphis: Derrick Rose and Chris Douglas-Roberts are more than able to lead the high octane Tigers back to glory. Their only weakness lies in their inability to create easy shots. For a powerful offense, they don’t run the break nearly enough.

4) Kansas: With Darrell Arthur on the verge of greatness, the perimeter will be opened up for some clutch Jayhawk shooters.

5) North Carolina: I’m tired of all the hype around Taylor Hansbrough. Maybe if he hadn’t been punched in the face last season, he would have lived up to it, but I think he still has something to prove. Having him run around in traffic with Deon Thompson can only add to the problems they had with Wright last year. They have a breakout star in Wayne Ellington.

-Potential Cinderellas-
1) Connecticut: Okay, so maybe Uconn isn’t exactly synonymous with Cinderalla, but they are poised to make an impressive run. Hasheem Thabeet (7'3") has the ability to stop any big man in college, and A.J. Price can run the offense. They haven’t gotten anyone new, but an improved squad from last year is more than enough to make a surprising run.

2) Pittsburgh: The hardest working team in college hoops is ready to make an impact. Sam Young is a perfect example of the teams dedication and hard work paying off.

3) New Mexico State: This one might seem a little out of left field, but stay with me. Justin Hawkins is one of the most underrated players in college and Herb Pope was an excellent pickup, who will get plenty of minutes this year assuming he can recover from being shot.

-Some young impact players-
Eric Gordon, Indiana: Indiana has a surprisingly exciting squad this year and Gordon is the main reason why. He plays a lot like another Gordon, Ben, including his 33 points against Tennessee-Chattanoga.

Kevin Love, UCLA: After a sick haircut, Love proved he’s ready for the season by averaging 20 and 10 in two games this season. He can step out and hit near NBA-range threes and his fundamentals rival Duncan’s. He’s the poster boy for High School basketball; we might be able to say the same about him in college.

O.J. Mayo, USC: The bad: He gets in trouble, fights teammates and chose USC. The good: He’s playing with Lil’ Romeo and scored 32 in a loss. I doubt Mayo cares too much about whether USC wins or loses, but getting his stat sheet filled out every night can’t hurt the Trojans.

Michael Beasley, Kansas State: Easily the most beastly freshman. 6’9”, 235 lbs and averaging 31 and 19, I don’t expect this guy to stay in college for too long.

Chase Budinger, Arizona: The curly haired soph looks like he’s going to improve on a decent freshman year, from 15, 2 and 6 to 25, 4 and 6. The Wildcats aren’t too good but this high-flyer will make them interesting to watch.

Scottie Reynolds, Villanova: After only one game, his stats haven’t been that impressive, but better than last year. Expect him to have some crazy games as the go-to-guy on ‘Nova.

Get Husky... But Not That Husky

2007-11-16T18:50:00.000-08:00

"Being Impractically Strong Is Cool!"
Greg Oden might actually be better off sitting at home playing “Halo 3” than working out in his free time before next season. When the Blazers drafted him, Oden’s body-fat percentage was 7.8, and it’s the same today. What’s the problem? The Big Chameleon has also added 30 pounds of straight muscle. Obviously, a jacked Oden is better than a fat Oden, but an additional 30 pounds (a total of 280 pounds) is probably too much for a surgically repaired knee to handle.
Oden was unable to lift in college thanks to his wrist injury, but now he’s tearing up the weight room like it was made of something easy to tear up. With the knee injury, he hasn’t done any type of lower body workouts and he might end up being a 20-year-old version of today’s Shaq. Trail Blazers’ coach, Nate McMillan, isn’t happy about Oden’s workout regimen either, "I would much rather have him be wiry strong than bulky, especially coming off a surgery. When you're talking about putting on extra weight and having to carry that weight on a surgically repaired leg, that's not good. We want to be really careful with the weight training with him.'' So, Oden is already upsetting his coach and he hasn’t even blown a game… yet.
Imagine 10 more months of workouts for Greg; the Big Chameleon will be more like Black Godzilla by the time his NBA debut rolls around. At least he will always have ESPN commercials.

Karma Karma Karma Chameleon: He's Out For The Season But Not Out Of Our Hearts

2007-11-06T16:58:00.001-08:00

He might be out for the season, but Greg Oden continues to remind fans he's around. This commercial alone makes him a real ROTY candidate, though not playing in any games may hurt his chances.

Chameleon? Yes. Obviously 40 years old? YES.

The Ceatles Will Win, Eight Days A Week

2007-11-05T18:22:00.000-08:00

I sat down to watch the Celtics' season opener and expected big things after a Steven Spieldberg directed promotional video (no, not really, but it was cool). The Celtics delivered, squashing the Wizards and making Arenas look like an idiot in the process. Sorry that you’re prediction didn’t turn out too well, Gil, but I’m sure you had a great Halo game later that night. Pierce scored 28 points, Garnett had 22 points and 20 rebounds and Allen seemed content with his meager (by comparison) 17. The Big 3 shot a combined 52%. Even the other guys did well, but Garnett doesn’t exactly need to worry about Scalabrine coming for his spot.
This game was pretty impressive, though the Wizards didn’t look too good but I wasn’t ready to jump on the bandwagon just yet. Then, the Ceatles headed north of the border to face their only real competition in the Atlantic Division. The Raptors looked like they would dispel the myth that the Celtics are the NBA version of the Justice League, and TJ ford sent the game to overtime. The teams went bucket for bucket until the end of the game when Allen (33 points) hit a 3-pointer with 2.6 seconds left for the win.
So, what do these recaps amount to? The Celtics are the best team in the East right now and I’m prepared to say they’ll remain that way. When the three superstars joined forces this summer, people were actively searching for a weakness. They won’t be able to share the ball, they won’t be content with diminished numbers, they won’t gel, etc. None of these possibilities seem likely anymore, as the Big Three appear to be BFFers, regardless of stats. I want to hate the Ceatles as much as the next guy, but if these first two games are any indication, they have no real competition on the road to the Finals.

Time For The NBA Season Already? Just Five More Minutes...

2007-10-24T19:21:00.000-07:00

Wake up suckers, here are 7 sleeper picks for your fantasy draft this year. I know what you’re thinking, and yes, I do have a formula for picking them. Breakout Talent + Underrated = Good Sleeper Pick. I am taking calculus after all.

1) Nate Robinson
After an MVP award from the Summer League, Nate Robinson continues to tear up the preseason. He recently posted a 28, 9 and 4 game against the Ceatles in only 28 minutes and as I’m writing this, he is embarrassing the Sixers. He’s a shoe-in for a starting PG position this year

2) Jameer Nelson
He’ll be a restricted free agent next summer if he doesn’t sign something in the next week and he’s dedicated this season to the memory of his father, whose body was found in the Delaware River almost two months ago. With Dwight Howard finally developing inside and Rashard Lewis taking additional pressure off, Nelson just bought a one-way ticket to assist town.

3) Al Thorton
Elton Brand is out and I find it unlikely that Livingston will be making a miraculous recovery to carry the Clippers on his back. Big Al (not Horford) is averaging 18.7 points per game in 29 minutes, with 50% from the field, 70% from beyond the arc and 85% from the line. I expect him to take the ROTY award.

4) Luis Scola
The Rockets picked up Scola for Spanoulis and a second-round pick in 2009 and they couldn’t be happier with his progress. He’s looking at a starting PF spot, but hasn’t been doing too much in the pre-season. Nevertheless, Adelman is excited and expects him to be an effective part of Houston’s offense. He’s probably the most underrated rookie and might go undrafted in your league.

5) Danny Granger
Lucky for Granger, he’s on what looks to be the worst team in the NBA. He’ll get open looks and he’s liable to have a fair amount of 30 point games. He’s big, 6’8” 230 lbs, and can shoot the ball as he proved on Tuesday with 25 points on 8-of-14 shooting.

6) Andrew Bynum
I think he’ll finally reach his potential this year. He won’t be great, but a good option if you’re need rebounds or blocks. He’s crazy athletic and finally developing some go-to-moves on offense. He grabbed 6 boards and added 11 points against Golden State in only 19 minutes. With Kwame Brown and Chris Mihm constantly fighting injuries, he might earn a starting spot this season.

7) Louis Williams
His Summer League performance equaled MVP Nate Robinson’s and since then, he’s been one of the Sixers best scoring options. He put up 33 against the Nets on the 13th, almost hitting a game winner. He’s the number one PG off the bench and if the Sixers need buckets, they might just put him in for Andre Miller.

Fantasy Draft: 2007-2008, For Those Of Us With Nothing Better To Do

2007-10-22T18:13:00.001-07:00

It’s that time of the year again, fantasy draft time. With an eventful off-season, I’m sure you’re all wondering which players to take this season. Without further ado, the top 25 picks with a breakdown of when and why to take them.

1) LeBron James
He’s the most talented player in the NBA. Not the best scorer, rebounder, passer or defender, but by far the best all around player. His team hasn’t changed too much and there’s no reason he shouldn’t put up even better numbers than last year.

2) Kevin Garnett
It’s possible to argue that his new club will diminish his fantasy value and it probably will, but not significantly. Expect fewer points, but possibly more rebounds and blocks due to weaker competition. His shooting percentage might go up thanks to fewer double teams and a shoot-first-ask-questions-later supporting cast. Even if any of his numbers go down he’s still the best fantasy big man in the NBA.

3) Shawn Marion
Marion’s easily the most versatile player in the league right now. He averaged 17 and 10 last year, but every fantasy owner knows that’s not even half the reason he’s number 3. He shoots with a high percentage, plays stellar defense and never misses a game and playing with Steve Nash can’t hurt either. He’s definitely someone to build your team around.

4) Kobe Bryant
He’s going to be the league’s best scorer again this year and hopefully your team will reap all the benefits. 32 PPG, with 5 rebounds and assists every night makes Kobe an MVP candidate and fantasy stud. Without any other options, he gets every offensive touch for the Lakers and he feels like he’s got something to prove this year. He won’t be holding out this year and if he gets traded (which he won’t) the worst that can happen is he trades some points for assists.

5) Steve Nash
He’s perfected the assist and you’re guaranteed to win that category every week with him on your team (I did last season anyway). The ultimate floor general can outscore any other PG on a give night and his percentage is up there. If you draft Nash, you don’t need to worry about assists with any of your other picks.

6) Gilbert Arenas
The only thing to keep in mind while drafting Agent 0 first is that you will need a SG who can pass. Gilbert doesn’t need to pass, doesn’t want to pass and probably couldn’t pass if he tried. I’m not criticizing because most of those non-passes end up as 3-pointers. His numbers are similar to Kobe’s, but he doesn’t score as much and gets an extra dime. Your team will lead in 3PM but probably not percentage. If he’s healthy, he’s deadly.

7) Dirk Nowitzki
You can probably expect a consistent 25 and 10 from Dirk this season. Everyone knows he’s the best shooting 7-footer and there’s no reason he won’t play at the MVP level again this year. He shot the coveted 50-40-90 percentages last year and he gets better every year.

8) Dwayne Wade
This is undoubtedly a risk with two looming injuries coming into the season, but he wants to get better and once he returns I expect him to finish the season strong. He’s liable to have 35 points one night and 11 assists the next. He’ll average at least 2 steals a game and he’ll head to the line a lot.

9) Josh Smith
A 6’9’’-er might lead the league in blocks this year and his stock goes up if you’re in a keeper league. With injuries to Joe Johnson, he’s Atlanta’s number one option. He might not play with the best supporting cast but he can do it all himself. The only downside: he could average as many assists as he does blocks.

10) Andre Iguodala
He may not have had the best season last year, but if the second half is any indication, he could get 20, 7 and 7 this year. With A.I. gone and an actual point guard in his place, Iguodala’s upside just got a lot bigger.

11) Amare Stoudemire
Just when you thought Stat’s injury wasn’t a problem anymore, he got surgery on his right knee. He made the comeback once, why shouldn’t he do this again? Easily a 20 and 10 player and his jump shooting got better over the off-season. He’s lucky enough to play with Steve Nash and he could recapture and surpass his numbers from 2005.

12) Chris Bosh
Basically an even younger Amare Stoudemire. He can shoot, take it inside and the Raps only real competition is the Celtics. He’s surrounded by shooters so the pressure should be off for the most part.

13) Jason Kidd
His triple doubles are somewhat overrated but never unappreciated by fantasy owners. He’s rarely hurt and could actually average close to 10, 10 and 10.

14) Rashard Lewis
The off-season was good to Rashard. Howard’s inside game gives the shooter plenty of looks and Jameer Nelson will have no problem seeing him off slashes. Lewis will take the Magic to the next level.

15) Chris Paul
There’s no doubt that Paul will eventually be the best PG in the league. He breaks the definition of scoring point guard by getting 9 assists to go with his 18 points.

16) Yao Ming
With Shaq’s slow decline, he’s becoming the most dominant player in the NBA. Sure, he can get 25 and 10 with 2 blocks and assists to boot, but he has a problem with staying healthy. Averages don’t mean anything if he only plays in 40 games.

17) Pau Gasol
He’s constantly on the verge of superstardom. He is the number one option, unfortunately on the worst team in the NBA. Just over 20 and 10, easily.

18) Tim Duncan
Obviously one of the best players in the league, but he tends to take it easy until the playoffs start. He’s the definition of 20 and 10 every night. The biggest upside to drafting him? You get to name your team “The Big FUNdamental!”.

19) Ray Allen
His numbers will definitely go down, but going 26 ppg to 22 ppg isn’t too bad. He’ll easily get open looks all season his assists should go up. If the Sun’s trifecta can keep their fantasy numbers up, why shouldn’t the Ceatles be able to?

20) Gerald Wallace
I believe he can stay healthy and if your league knows what it’s doing, they’ll let you play him at the PF. His numbers should go up next to Richardson and he’ll get better as the ‘Cats do. Morrison will be sorely missed, but his shot attempts are going straight to Wallace.

21) Dwight Howard
He might be under ranked here, but the addition of Lewis won’t help his numbers much. He shoots an abysmal 58% from the line and he’ll be getting fouled a lot this year. His blocks may be the only category to improve, but chances are good he’ll pick up lots of fouls trying to get them.

22) Vince Carter
He’s a safe pick and consistently gets 25, 6 and 4 with one or two treys. He’s liable to explode on any given night and supply 35 points.

23) Allen Iverson
Now that he’s on a real playoff contender, A.I. might start passing the ball. His assists will go up and his points will go down but his overall numbers will suffer becoming the second option. From a Nuggets fan perspective, this is a good thing, but from a fantasy owner’s perspective, you should hope Carmelo gets in another fight.

24) Tracy McGrady
He can stay healthy and his offense will thrive under Adelman. He’s got to meet his potential sooner or later. Regardless of how many games he plays, he’ll average 27, 6 and 7. If Yao stays healthy, the pressure will be taken off and he’ll get better looks and someone to actually pass to.

25) Paul Pierce
Obviously not the number one option anymore, but his passing game should surprise some people. He’ll still get upwards of 20 ppg and 5 rebounds. His fantasy stock definitely doesn’t get higher this year, but he’ll get a higher percentage and more dimes.

Which Is Funnier, Gheroghe Muresan Dancing Or Dikembe Drinking Root Beer? Now You Know

2007-10-15T17:20:00.000-07:00

Aside from Terrible Terry Tate and Chad Johnson, no athletes are better equipped for hilarity than basketball players. They’re used to the pressure, timing and gun-wielding inherent in comedic acting. These skills, in combination with SportsCenter’s ability to write phenomenal commercials, have lead to some entertaining ends. Game Recognize the best basketball related SportsCenter ads in history.

10) This commercial back from ‘97 is an excellent example of SportsCenter humor, but a poor example of Kobe’s acting ability. Put him on trial and I promise he’ll be more convincing than this.

9) Mutumbo was offered Dustin Hoffman’s roll in “Rain Man”. He declined so he could spend more time with his 17 children.

8) Scott Van Pelt and Stuart Scott are SportsCenter’s two leading actors and this clip proves it. Note the LeBron reference.

7) Shaq hasn’t been this good since Shazzoo. Kazzam? Shapow? Whatever that movie was called.

6) DWade wants his highlights to make him look like a superhero. What he doesn’t realize is that this commercial makes it seem like he has super comedy.

5) Is there any real joke to this commercial? No, unless you consider the expressive art of dancing funny.

4) This is the fabled commercial that got Lorne Michaels interested in Bron.

3) Grant Hill is a true pioneer for the NBActor. I wonder if he can actually play the piano.

2) Scott Van Pelt is gross.

1) This commercial gets the number one spot because of all the O.G.s.

Well there you have it, the top ten (of 11) basketball related SportsCenter commercials in order for your convenience. Wait until Greg Oden gets better. Can anyone say “deformed face” jokes?

Key To Basketblog Success, Post Videos of Dunk Contests.

2007-10-13T12:09:00.001-07:00

Dunking is always cool no matter what. Up 30 points with .2 seconds to go on a fast break? Cool to dunk. A 7-footer on a 3-month-old baby? Cool if he dunks it. But nothing, nothing, is lamer than missing a dunk. Underhanded foul shots, banked threes and falling on your face are all cooler than missing a dunk. Unfortunately, this situation is inevitable, even for the pros.

As Newton’s law of inverse dunkation states, completing a dunk is as cool as missing a dunk is lame.

Notice the difference between the two videos. Dunking = cool. Not dunking = lame. In other words, I’d rather be Vince Carter than Tim Perry.

Ceatle Mania

2007-10-06T19:36:00.000-07:00

I actually watched the Celtics play the Raptors in the first (Italian) preseason game of the year. I wasn’t exactly surprised to see KG drop 19, Pierce drop 21 of his own with Allen adding 10, but I was surprised that none of these guys forced anything and let the ball actually come to them.
There were times when 2 or 3 possessions in a row failed to include any of these superstars and yet they stayed in rhythm and got their fair share of buckets when the time was right. Because I am a hater, and sit here on my computer and hate, hate, hate all day, I can’t help but assume that this won’t last all season, or can I?
The most hopeful event for an effective Boston franchise didn’t come when Ray actually passed to Eddie House or Pierce’s dime to Perkins; it wasn’t even during the game at all. During a timeout, NBA TV ran a short segment in which Pierce, Allen and Garnett were enjoying paninis or espressos or something at a café, and discussing the new team. The expected was said, “we still have to prove ourselves”, “we’re excited for the season”, blah, blah, blah… but then KG gave the three all-stars a fateful nickname, a name that, if lived up to, would bring with it a new basketball era. He donned them “The Ceatles” (see-tulls).
Now, I’m not one to jump on the latest band-wagon that happens by, in fact I still don’t believe LeBron will be able to make the transition to the NBA, but a claim like this inspires hope, even in the pessimist blogger, not to mention 76ers fan. So, the best of luck to you Paul (KG), George (Pierce) and Ringo (Allen).
I guess John can be Posey or somebody, whatever.

(The fateful claim is made at about 1:40 in)

Game Recognize Previews: The Top Dogs

2007-10-03T17:04:00.000-07:00

Here at Game Recognize Game, we recognize that previews shouldn’t just be about the teams. Sometimes you need to recognize the accomplishments of the egomaniacal superstar. After all, there is no “team” in “I”. So, with no further ado, here comes Game Recognize Game: Individual Predictions for 2007-2008.

Scoring Leaders:
1) Kobe Bryant: 34.3
2) LeBron James: 28.9
3) Gilbert Arenas: 28.2
4) Dwayne Wade: 27.6
5) Amare Stoudemire: 27.3
Next five: Michael Redd, Dirk Nowitzki, Vince Carter, Joe Johnson, Carmelo Anthony

Rebound Leaders:
1) Dwight Howard: 13.0
2) Tyson Chandler: 12.6
3) Kevin Garnett: 12.2
4) Emeka Okafor: 11.5
5) Carlos Boozer: 11.3
Next five: Marcus Camby, Al Jefferson, Tim Duncan, Chris Bosh, Ben Wallace

Assist Leaders:
1) Steve Nash (duh): 11.9
2) Jason Kidd: 10.3
3) Chris Paul: 9.5
4) Deron Williams: 9.3
5) T.J. Ford: 8.7
Next five: Baron Davis, Andre Miller, Allen Iverson, Chauncey Billups, Raymond Felton

Steals:
1) Baron Davis: 2.4
2) Dwayne Wade: 2.2
3) Andre Iguodala: 2.0
4) Gerald Wallace: 2.0
5) Allen Iverson: 1.8
Next five: Caron Butler, Ron Artest, Chris Paul, Shawn Marion, Gilbert Arenas

Blocks:
1) Marcus Camby: 3.5
2) Jermaine O’Neal: 3.0
3) Emeka Okafor: 2.8
4) Pau Gasol: 2.2
5) Tim Duncan: 2.1
Next five: Josh Smith, Ben Wallace, Samuel Dalembert, Dwight Howard, Tyson Chandler

Most Impressive Breakouts:
1) Devin Harris: Expect a Monta Ellis/Deron Williams type of year for him. He’ll need to start earning his check and it’s not like he doesn’t have enough guys to dish to on the Mavs. 14 PPG 5 APG
2) Danny Granger: Granger has plenty of opportunities to touch the ball on a lacking Pacers club. He’s a fairly big, athletic swingman who can shoot. 18 PPG 6 RPG
3) Andrew Bynum: Kobe’s favorite player is approaching the age of most rookies but he’s as polished as many veterans. 10 PPG 8 RPG.

Live From New York, It's A Play-By-Play Recap

2007-09-30T07:31:00.000-07:00

1st Quarter:
The LeBronalouge seems to have been a good warm up for the rest of the game. He pre-recorded those different LeBron’s from his Nike commercials so that he wouldn’t have to work himself too hard before the game really got started.
He then went on to play the straight man for a classic weirdo SNL character portrayed by Kristen Wiig. Not too physically demanding, but he should be picking up some speed for later in the game.
Heading to the end of the quarter, LeBron knows he really needs to step his game up. He starts demanding the ball on offense and all eyes are on him during a “High School Musical” spoof, and he really delivers.
Towards the end of the quarter, they bench LeBron for a digital short. They let him catch his breath and give the role players some time.

2nd Quarter:
LeBron kicks the quarter off right with an NBA Read To Achieve PSA spoof, he becomes unstoppable and at one point actually dunks on a cast member. He’s on fire.
Ending the first half, the coaches make a questionable decision and play him at an awkward position. He’s really comfortable playing a studly NBA player, but the SNL staff has casted him as a flute-playing nerd on a BET talk show spoof. He just can’t seem to get anything going here; hopefully they’ll adjust that during halftime.

-Halftime show with Kanye West is enjoyed by all despite weird dancing and orchestra-

3rd Quarter:
The quarter starts with a play called for LeBron’s teammates, certainly risky but Keenan Thompson really steps up as OJ Simpson.
But of course, when you have a franchise player like Bron, you can’t call many plays without putting the ball in his hands. He starts up a hot streak as a Solid Gold dancer, giving his team a substantial lead.
For some insane reason, the coach takes him out of the game. Maybe he’s afraid of fatigue or injury but this couldn’t of come at a worse time. He runs a cartoon, benching LeBron just when he was getting hot. Ouch.
At the end of the quarter they don’t improve things for LeBron but the team gets help from a surprising performance from Kanye West. Bron supplies a 3 second cameo but if they don’t give him some serious time in the 4th, they can expect a loss.

4th Quarter:
Still not much from LeBron. Kanye slips on the court but picks himself up, and begins to call plays as he thinks of them. Despite yells from the Coach, his “off the top of the dome” play calling is rather productive. But LeBron still isn’t being used.
Wisely, they give Bron the ball in the closing minutes, playing him in his most comfortable position… as himself. He spoofs himself and his choice to skip college for a little while, lighting up the scoreboard as he does so.
LeBron ends the game by thanking his fans, teammates and coaches.

Post Game Thoughts:
LeBron’s team got the W, but LeBron himself was underused. He had solid 2nd and 4th quarters and his teammates really stepped it up in the 3rd. He didn’t mess up in any particular way and certainly solidified himself as an official crossover athlete. Watch out Brad Pitt, there’s a new blockbuster actor in town!

LeBron Is Making Shakespeare Proud

2007-09-29T17:20:00.000-07:00

LeBron is all set to host SNL tonight and I’m expecting big things. As appearances on several talk shows, pre-game antics, and the ESPYS taught us, LeBron can keep a crowd entertained. I mean, just watch him sing Bobby Brown’s classic “My Lebronative”:

Don’t believe in his thespian skills, negative reader? Well, tell me this doesn’t churn your butter:

He’s playing four people at the same time! That type of acting is only done by the likes of Eddie Murphy and Arsenio Hall, undoubtedly two of the Worlds most classically trained actors.
I’m excited for SNL tonight, and you can expect a play-by-play recap coming next.

Mo' Marion, Mo' Problems

2007-09-26T15:43:00.000-07:00

As you’ve probably heard, Shawn Marion is looking to leave greener pastures with the Suns, to a less-than-competitive Lakers club. He’s been saying that “It's time for me to take the next step and leave” and "It's like a bad marriage. It's time to get up. I love my fans, I love the city, I love my teammates. I just think it's time for me to leave". What about loving your fans, city and teammates is like a bad marriage, you ask? It’s all about the Benjamins.
Even though Marion is the most highly paid Sun, but certainly not the most valuable, he’s trying to get a contract extension of $60 mil over the next 3 years. So the question is, is Marion worth it? The way I see it, the Suns have about 2 or 3 more years to win with the team they’ve got. That team, unfortunately for tightwad owner Robert Sarver, includes Marion. $20 million a year is far too much to pay Marion, but if it means he stays, and gives the Suns a few more chances at a championship, it might be worth it.
I find it hard to believe that Marion actually thinks he deserves this kind of bank but he definitely knows the Suns want him and going to the Lakers would mean they get nothing comparable in return (probably Lamar Odom). Marion’s got the Suns right where he wants them, and if they want a trophy they’re going to have to dish out some serious cheddar.

Next Big Thing(s)

2007-09-22T19:57:00.000-07:00

Out of a high school class with some stellar players, including Derrick Rose, Michael Beasley and Eric Gordon, two names stand out from the others. Names that seem like they will almost always be used in the same sentence, the way Magic and Larry are. The two best players out of the college class of ’07 are OJ Mayo and Kevin Love, and they better get used to each other, because they’re going to be seeing a lot of one another.
The comparisons are inevitable, not because they play the same type of game, not because they have the same background, but because they’re both great and they’re not exactly doing anything to get away from each other. Since the McDonalds All-American Game, where they faced as East (Mayo) vs. West (Love), all eyes have been on them. The final score indicated a game as closely matched and even as these two, 114-112, with Love’s squad prevailing.
Kevin’s dad, Stan played in the NBA and he moved to Lake Oswego, Oregon from Santa Monica at an early age. He is a 6-10, 260 pound forward and he’s a huge offensive threat, using fundamentals in combination with creativity and straight last-one-to-leave-the-gym strength. He’s got the MVP awards, he’s got the championships as well as numerous citizenship and student/athlete awards.
OJ Mayo’s dad has been in and out of jail while his mother supported the family by herself. Mayo is a 6-4, 210 pound guard whose crazy athleticism and highflying dunks are complimented nicely with a silky J. He’s been on Youtube for pushing a ref, had his fair share of run-ins with the law and aspires to rebuild his community of Huntington, West Virginia.
To add to their numerous differences, Love is committed to UCLA while Mayo will be suiting up for USC.
Though these two lead very different personal lives, have different backgrounds and very different approaches to basketball, they will be compared, and they will be rivals. The beauty of basketball is that it transcends race, religion and reputation. The only thing that matters in this game, the same thing that makes these two rivals, is game. It’s what Larry and Magic shared, and it’s what Oden and Durant share. These two definitely got game, and there’s no doubt that you’ll be hearing about them for a while.

What Is Going On In Hermosa Beach?

2007-09-20T19:02:00.000-07:00

If you play enough pickup, this tends to happen a lot.

Game Recognize Previews. Return of the Previews: Western Conference, Regular Season

2007-09-18T18:15:00.000-07:00

Did you see Minority Report? Remember those guys in the water who can predict crimes before they happen? That's not how I did this.

Northwest Division:
1) Denver Nuggets
With AI on the squad all year long, I don’t see how they could have a worse record than any of these guys.
2) Seattle Supersonics
Yep, I bought into the Kevin Durant hype. Youtube that guy and I promise you’ll be a believer.
3) Utah Jazz
They were pretty good in the playoffs and Deron Williams got robbed of the MIP, but Carlos Boozer has one move. ONE MOVE. He does the same lame bank shot every time. I could D him up.
4) Minnesota Timberwolves
It’s not like they got nothing in return for KG.
5) Portland Trailblazers
I said LaMarcus Aldridge was better than Oden anyway, but I didn’t say they would win any games.

Pacific Division:
1) Phoenix Suns
They’re window of opportunity is closing, and they know it. As usual, they’re one of the best in the L.
2) Golden State Warriors
Yeah, they lost Jason Richardson, but they still can’t be worse than all the rest of these teams.
3) Los Angeles Lakers
Kobe’s gonna have to have a lot of 80-point games this year.
4) Sacramento Kings
At least none of their players ruptured their Achilles tendon.
5) Los Angeles Clippers
Without Brand, they’ve got nothing.

Southwest Division:
1) San Antonio Spurs
They won last year, and to be honest I have no idea how to rank teams.
2) Dallas Mavericks
Say what you will about they playoffs last year, they had the best record, the MVP and Mark Cuban.
3) Houston Rockets
I bet there will only be 3 or 4 weeks in which both T-Mac and Yao are playing injury free.
4) New Orleans Hornets
They’re actually pretty good, but in the hardest division.
5) Memphis Grizzlies
Possibly the worst team in the NBA. Yeah Hakim Warrick, FCS High School Pride!

Game Recognize Previews: Eastern Conference, Regular Season

2007-09-18T18:08:00.001-07:00

Here are the results from the 2008 NBA Season. That's right, I can travel through time.

Atlantic Division:
1) Boston Celtics
No, I actually don’t really buy into the whole “new dynasty” stuff now that they have three ball-hogging, whiny superstars as opposed to one. It’s just that this division is really terrible.
2) Toronto Raptors
If this franchise keeps their people for another 5 years, they’ll be the best team in the NBA.
3) New Jersey Nets
It seems unlikely that the combo of Jason Kidd, Vincesanity and Richard Jefferson can actually do poorly, but that’s what I thought last year… and the year before that.
4) Philadelphia 76ers
It might be wishful thinking, but hopefully the Sixers won’t end up dead last in one of the worst divisions.
5) New York Knicks
Hey Knicks, way to get rid of Francis, but shouldn’t you know that a low post dominator is useless if he can’t play defense, what with Eddy Curry and everything?

Central Division:
1) Detroit Pistons
Hey, they’re the Pistons. C’mon.
2) Cleveland Cavaliers
Hey, they’re LeFranchise. C’mon.
3) Chicago Bulls
I don’t see this squad ever getting their act together.
4) Milwaukee Bucks
Desmond Mason can’t hurt but they only avoid the number 5 spot by default.
5) Indiana Pacers
Nobody would like to see Jeff Foster dominate more than I would, but they’re just one of the worst teams in the league.

Southeast Division:
1) Orlando Magic
They’re in a pretty easy division plus Dwight Howard is going to be the most dominate player in the NBA.
2) Charlotte Bobcats
The addition of Jason Richardson might actually make this team relevant. If you think about it, they’ve got Gerald Wallace, Emeka Okafor and I wouldn’t be that surprised if MJ put himself in a couple games. Just for like 20 minutes.
3) Washington Wizards
Yeah, Arenas is ok and they might have done well if Caron Butler and he didn’t hurt themselves last year, but it doesn’t really matter where I put them because they’ll get swept in the playoffs.
4) Miami Heat
I expect DWade to make a full recovery, but they lost Kapono, Posey, maybe Jason Williams and Shaq’s career is just about over. I don’t think Smush Parker will make up for it.
5) Atlanta Hawks
Yeah they just stink. Despite Johnson, Smith and Speedy Clax’s street cred, they’ll end up last in the division.

Stephen A. Smith? Nope, Just A Look-A-Like

2007-09-18T16:30:00.000-07:00

Praying is definitely the new black.

Baskedents: Man's Only Natural Predator

2007-09-15T18:54:00.000-07:00

“Baskedents” [Bas*Kah*Dents] noun – A basketball-related incident happening unintentionally or unexpectedly, often causing pain to the victim.

Baskedents are happening all over the world. No matter who you are, a baskedent may happen to you or someone you love… unless you play, like, soccer or something. To prove that baskedents know no race, religion or creed, here are some of the worst of all time.

They happen to college players:

They happen to the pros:

I thought the music might help some of our younger viewers stomach the image of his knee folding like Stretch Armstrong, but don’t let the soundtrack fool you, that was real... real painful.

They happen to lame suburban trampolites whose friends hate them:

They happen all over the world:

If he were about 4 inches taller, he wouldn’t have a head anymore. Or his head wouldn’t have a body anymore. He would have had a serious baskedent, anyway.

So those videos just go to show you, no matter who you are, where you’re from or whether you have a trampoline or not, a baskedent is waiting for you.

Worst... Offseason... Ever

2007-09-13T14:23:00.001-07:00

As a Sixers fan, I have no choice but to rant about their recent decisions. First they traded away Bobby Jones and Steven Hunter for Ricky Sanchez and Reggie Evans, which is basically just trading two useless players for two other useless players. In fact, you may know Reggie Evans as the "guy who violated Chris Kaman". Yep, the Sixers proudly accept this guy:

Then, president and GM, Billy King announced that Aaron McKie “would have a position with the team this season”. All I can say is, he better be assistant to the assistant coach or something, because if playing with the Sixers didn’t work before, it won’t work 13 years later.
Those moves probably won’t really effect the team one way or the other, they’re just stupid, but when King announced that Philadelphia was picking up former Washington Wizard, Calvin Booth, I nearly burned my most valued Kyle Korver poster (no, nobody’s ever actually produced a KK poster). Are you serious? Calvin Booth? This 31-year-old had a 06-07 season of 1.6 PPG and 1.8 RPG… in only 8.6 minutes a game! Yeah, he’s useless and what’s worse, the Sixers expect this guy to play “a greater role with the Sixers”. Maybe he’ll be able to reach a peak of 2 points and rebounds a game and play 17.2 minutes a game. If you think basketball players are overpaid, the fact that their paying this guy upwards of $15 dollars is an argument in your favor. This move won’t really affect the team either, but it officially makes this the most stupid, useless offseason in the history of the NBA.
The Sixers need a total revamping if their going to win any games, not a Nuggets reject, a former 6th man award-stealer, or a guy who looks like this:

The Emperor's New Groove

2007-09-07T09:37:00.000-07:00

Not to be outdone by his archenemy, Big Aristotle, Kobe has traveled to the far East himself, meeting fans and schooling them in basketball. Despite the slave wages and abuse they receive making Kobe’s sneakers for Nike, plenty of Asian children came out to watch him.
So, to show his appreciation, Kobe dunked on, crossed up and just embarrassed any 4’ Asian in his path… and they loved it. Kobe was treated like a God all throughout Asia, greeted with cheers and crowds of fans. In Taiwan, he received a tribal headband, a sign of leadership. They really almost made this guy their king, but when he realized their were no white women in Asia, he headed home.
Here’s a video of him dunking on a couple of children. He has the crowd eating out of his hand:

We could have used an ambassador like this when they were Commies.

Raindance!

2007-09-02T19:23:00.001-07:00

The following is probably my favorite basketball scene in any movie. It's from Along Came Polly and it is gross.

The Dallas Stars Just Entered A World Of Pain

2007-08-31T18:12:00.000-07:00

The Dallas Stars, hockey’s most awkwardly located NHL team, has seen fit to poke fun at the NBA’s referee scandal. They have posted a billboard claiming that “The Only Thing Our Refs Shave Is The Ice”, seen above. Where do you get off, Stars? How dare you poke fun at professional sports most respected officials. What the heck does “Come Into The Cold” mean, anyway?
On the other hand, this is the sort of behavior I would expect from a bunch of Canadians and eastern Europeans, but Mav’s owner and attention hog Mark Cuban has been reported as saying, “I think it’s hysterical. Good for them. It’s a fun ad”. It wouldn’t be so funny if you could blame point shaving for your embarrassingly early exit from the playoffs, would it Mark? I doubt it will be more hysterical than your Dancing With the Stars performances.
I’ve got some suggestions for NBA billboards that might return the favor. “The Only Fights Our Refs Allow Are Between Artest And Paying Patrons”, “The Only Blades Our Players Use Are For Shanking” and “Our League Has Nothing To Do With The ‘Mighty Ducks’ Movies” are just a few of my brilliant ideas.
I move for some sort of rebuttal from the League. Don’t underestimate Stern’s hatred for Texas, Stars.

We're Number 1

2007-08-29T14:38:00.000-07:00

If there was any doubt in anybody’s mind that the United States is the most physically dominant and thus superior nation on earth, the USA Men’s Senior Basketball Team has shut you up. They haven’t won by less than 27 points and remain undefeated by the best of the Americas. But some, including ESPN’s Chris Sheridan, aren’t satisfied by the USA. They claim that the roster is full of egos and lacking in defense. Umm, excuse me but last time I checked defense is reserved for opponents that play basketball professionally, not as training for soccer.
You shouldn’t be concerned with the fact that America allowed Mexico to score 100 points, because they’re playing under a system developed partially by Mike D’Antoni. He’s the coach of the Phoenix Suns who doesn’t care how many times the other team scores, as long as his team scores one point more.
Game Recognize Game guarantees an undefeated record in every single game this current incarnation of the USA Olympic Team plays, or I will personally write an entry praising whatever lame, finger-rolling country takes enough charges to win.

You Can't Keep Them From Dancing

2007-08-22T16:10:00.000-07:00

Studies have shown that Basketball becomes an alternative means of income for more than 75% of failed professional dancers*. So, when you bring players together, as the NBA did in this rookie photo shoot, they're going to demand a DJ and they're gonna get down.

Let's just say, Joakim Noah's dancing ability parallels his basketball skills.

*This fact is 100% made up.

Thunder vs. Harry

2007-08-20T19:45:00.000-07:00

On one legendary night, the Golden State Warriors and the Atlanta Hawks decided to cancel their basketball matchup and settle things off the court. That's right, an old fashioned mascot dance-off, winner take all. If only more teams had the integrity and courage to settle things this way.

The winner? You be the judge, but keep in mind that Harry the Hawk had to tag in someone not wearing a giant beaked head and wings.

Shaq's Turning Ming Into Bling

2007-08-19T18:03:00.000-07:00

Everyone knows Shaquille O’Neal is no stranger to the Far East, as this message to Yao Ming during the 02-03 season proved, “Tell Yao Ming, ‘ching-chong-yang-wah-ah-soh’”. As Shaq bridges the gap between the East and West so seamlessly, his shoe sponsor sent him over to China to do some promotional work as only he can, producing the timeless pictures seen throughout this post. Shaq is so immersed in Chinese culture, that he was able to pick out the perfect wedding gift for Ming. What do you get the giant Asian who has everything, you ask? Shaq suggested this, "If you let me choose a wedding gift for him, I would give Yao four 24-inch customized rims”. Yao’s rickshaw is gonna be off the chizzain.

Allan and Anfernee Must Read This Blog

2007-08-09T10:37:00.000-07:00

Well Reggie Miller's Retired All-Star Squad has created quite a bit of hype already and, in an unlikely coincidence, All-Star Allan Houston is considering a return to the NBA and Penny Hardaway has signed with the Miami Heat.
The 36 year-old Houston is more than willing to sacrifice his Knicks legacy in order to play about 10 minutes a night and put up the occasional three pointer. When asked if he would play on Reggie Miller's Retired All-Star Squad, however, he had the following to say. "I'm looking to play a supporting role to some of these great young stars,'' Houston said. "More of a leadership role, someone who can add experience and stability late in games". So, he wouldn't play with other old washed up has-beens. Maybe Ostertag can talk him into it.
Penny Hardaway hasn't looked back at his Orlando legacy as he joins the already elderly Heat. He'll join Gary Payton and possibly Alonzo Mourning in the team that is slowly turning into Reggie Miller's Retired All-Star Squad.
Both of these guys should have stayed retired, but didn't. They earn a spot on the Squad.

Reggie Miller's Retired All-Star Squad

2007-08-08T21:18:00.000-07:00

The fact that Reggie Miller is actually considering making an NBA “comeback” forced me to consider a team comprised entirely of old has-beens to be known as “Reggie Miller’s Retired All-Star Squad”. Despite the name, these players don’t actually have to be retired, but they should be. These are players who experienced some level of success on some level of play and, despite being old, choose to either return and disgrace whatever legacy they left (i.e. Reggie Miller), or refuse to unclench the nails they have dug into whatever amount of achievment they have experienced (i.e. Dikembe Mutombo). Sometimes they are just such a perfect combination of bad and old that they earn a spot (i.e. Greg Ostertag). In any case, they should retire and/or stay retired.

PG- Gary Payton (39)
SG- Reggie Miller (41)
SF- Scottie Pippen (41)
PF- Greg Ostertag (34)
C- Dikembe Mutombo (41)
Honorable Mentions: Alonzo Mourning, Aaron McKie and Sam Cassell

Gary Payton: As the 2006 NBA Finals taught us, this guy is the most useful player on Reggie Miller’s Retired All-Star Squad. And yet, he’s useless. He used to be pretty good, but these days he’s known as “the guy DWade used to play as in NBA Live ‘98”. The Glove needs to retire already and be remembered for his success with the Supersonics, not as the player trying to shimmy himself back into relevancy.

Reggie Miller: He’s about to turn 42 and still contemplating a return to the league. Danny Ainge promised him a solid 15 minutes a game… not worth sacrificing his Pacers legacy. He managed to play on the same team for his entire 18-year career and will be remembered as the best Pacer to ever beat the Knicks. He even found a great job yakking it up on TNT. Besides, a team with Pierce, Allen and Miller won’t be that cool after the novelty wears off.

Scottie Pippen: After announcing that he was interested in making a comeback in February, Pippen proceeded to embarrass himself during All-Star weekend in the Haier Shooting Stars competition. He was unable to land himself on a team last season (shocker), but don’t think he’s given up the fight. Maybe he has something to prove because all the focus was on Jordan during his career, but regardless, he’s got rings and he’s got money so there’s really no reason to even think about returning.

Greg Ostertag: He may be the youngest player on this squad, but he makes up for it by being the worst. Though he doesn’t have a “legacy” to disgrace, the fact that he thinks a team would want him to contribute 15 minutes is embarrassing enough.

Dikembe Mutombo: He’s old, he’s bad and he won’t leave. He may be personable and socially conscious but he can’t play like he used to. He should accept that he’s the second best shot-blocker and one of the most dynamic rebounders ever, and retire already.

The Bench: Copy and paste Mutombo’s paragraph for Alonzo Mourning. Just like Payton, he should have bowed out after he won the championship.
Aaron McKie is just terrible. He stole the 6th man of the year award and that’s the only thing he has to show for his entire career. Bet you didn’t know he’s actually on the Lakers now. Weird, right?
Sam Cassell is a mummy. He was once the pharaoh of all the Western Nile, but today he is a 30,000-year-old basketball player. He was actually too old to make the All-Star Retired Squad. Go back to the crypt, Sam.

When some of today’s brightest stars blossom into players like these, hope they retire and stay retired.

James Posey Is Livin' It Up

2007-08-05T19:50:00.000-07:00

James Posey was probably the luckiest player in the league during Miami's victorious championship run in '06, as he won a trophy without actually contributing. Ever since then, he's done everything he can to embarrass himself from getting arrested to getting fat. But why should I even report on his latest mess up when this site sums it up so well?

http://miamihoopsblog.com/2007/08/02/strike-a-posey/

Did You Know Garnett Is An Irish Name?

2007-07-31T18:13:00.000-07:00

Unforunatley, I am forced to blog about Kevin Garnett's move to the Celtics. This is because as a sports blogger, and specifically one of basketballic proportions, I must recognize this move as one of the most significant in recent memory.
KG is arguabley the best player in the NBA and many, myself included, thought he would end his career in Minnesota. Instead, he sacrificed his insane loyalty and moved himself to a team that doesn't even recognize draft karma as a tangible entity.
You can argue that Pierce and Allen are better players than Garnett has ever had the pleasure of playing with, and that would be true (the next best set is Cassell and Sprewell... awful), but as they both play the same position (with poor health history) and hog the ball even more than Garnett does, this franchise will go nowhere fast. Garnett's not getting any younger and this three year deal may solidify his title of best player to continually fail. And I'm not talking like Reggie Miller fail, I mean like "this team may win the Atlantic Division only once or twice" fail.
That being said, this move can't possibly hurt the Celtics, the 06-07 season's version of the 05-06 Knicks (best comparison I could come up with), and it will sell plenty of tickets. On the downside for Boston, they better be right about this guy because they sacrificed every young talent they had in order to get him. (Prediction: In eight years, Gerald Green will dunk on a a walker using Kevin Garnett hobbling around in the lane).
Is it possible for three aging, shoot first, ball-demanding, highly paid superstars to win some games? Sure, but don't excpect another Bean Town Dynasty.

The Atlanta Krunk: Stylin' and Profilin'

2007-07-24T18:35:00.000-07:00

Now, in what will almost assuredly not become a regular post, Game Recognize Game brings you news from the CBA.
The most exciting news in the CBA is the upcoming season for the Atlanta Krunk, the Continental Basketball Associations answer to a lack of interest from Lil’ Jon fans. Well, this franchise should more than capture their attention. In case you don’t know about the Krunk, I bring you the key aspects of the team through a photo album.
Duane “Spider” Hughes recently announced that the Krunk, formerly the “Atlanta Krunk Wolverines” would be moving from Charlotte to Atlanta, silencing all those who doubted their strangely specific name choice.
Check the logo:

This move was not only met with a myriad of screaming fans but also a stylish new uniform, to be supplied by sole sponsor Starbury.
Check the uni:

As every true hoops fan knows, moves and execution like this would be impossible without true professionals behind the wheel. Former all-star and now coach Kenny Anderson here with co-owner Freedom Williams to his left and assistant coach Lamont Moreno (the guy who looks like Martin Lawrence), to his right.
Check the staff:

And of course, a business opportunity such as this would have investors everywhere peeing their pants. Kenny Anderson isn’t the only lucky guy who gets to be associated with the franchise. Stephon Marbury jumped at the opportunity as well.
Check Stephon cheesin’ with Freedom:

So, if you don’t know now you know… Krunk fans.

Glory Be...

2007-07-20T17:16:00.000-07:00

Basketball ads have been pretty memorable, from the Freestyle commercial to the many faces of LeBron, Nike has contributed more than its fare share of television memories. Never have they done it better, however, than these two old school parodies in which they superimpose Vince Carter and others into old ABA clips. These are two of my favorite basketball commercials ever.

NBA Summer League: The Good, the Bad and the Jianlian

2007-07-17T19:14:00.000-07:00

Given some time to contemplate (not to mention read a helpful ESPN article) I have a few opinions about some select players’ performances in Vegas this summer.

The guys you’re interested in:
1) Greg Oden. You have all heard about what an embarrassment this guy was for the Blazers. As I’ve said, the NBA Summer League doesn’t supply an accurate portrayal of the actual season, but you would expect this guy to get more points than fouls but despite his inability to do so, it is unfair to label him a dud. He only played two games due to his enraged tonsils and during the season he will hopefully spend a little more time utilizing that body of his. Bottom line: Hopefully, this Summer League will force the Blazers to put Oden behind Aldridge, at least for a little while.
2) Kevin Durant. Well, this guy delivered what we all expected: buckets. 24 points per game isn’t bad, but he definitely has some things to work on. Lots of points seems unavoidable when you put up as many shots as this guy did. His amazing moments were often met with equally uninspiring ones. No need to fear Sonics, some refining will turn this rookie into the immediate impact player you want. Bottom line: After some pampering and tutelage, this guy will be great, even on defense.
3) Mike Conley Jr. A classy guy with a high basketball IQ. He’s fast and may be able to get some of his sub-par Grizzly teammates involved. There’s not much to say about this guy considering he met everyone’s expectations. Bottom line: He’s just what Memphis needs and after some work on his jumper, will be a dominant guard for years.
4) Yi Jianlian: As a principle, I tend to hate all foreign basketball players. As much skepticism as I met this guy with, he managed to impress me. He’s around 6’10” and plays SF as well as anyone. By no means is he a high flyer but he’s powerful, smart and can shoot. He got plenty of opportunities to touch the ball while playing with the crappy Chinese National Team. I expect him to make an impact with the Bucks if his handlers deem Milwaukee honorable enough to sign his paycheck. Bottom line: His combination of size and skill should impress but NBA bigs will have no problem shutting him down.

Some snippets:
1) Spencer Hawes. Shot 44%, shameful for a big man who’s supposed to be skilled and failed to get to the line in the Summer League. Not looking good.
2) Thaddeus Young. Got better as the week went on and finished with 20 and 10 in the last game. A beast on the offensive boards.
3) Julian Wright. Yet another athletic wingman, he was very inconsistent. Probably won’t be a factor with the Hornets for a while.

The best:
1) Nate Robinson: The NBA named this guy their MVP and I’d have to agree, except that he’s a 3rd year veteran. Between playing at random parks in NY and playing against rookies, this guy needs to find a gym to work out in. All that said, he really did everything well and led the Knicks to 5-0. If only the real Knicks could start winning.
2) Louis Williams. Here is the true MVP. One year has done wonders for this guy’s game and I couldn’t ask for a more promising guard to play behind Andre Miller. (His teammate Rodney Carney looked good too).
3) Randy Foye. Definitely the most athletic guy in the league. He scored at will and made some posters out of Yi.

The only things that will stay consistent in the regular season are Durant’s shooting (33% but plenty of points), Conley’s dominance (he’s fast enough to be considered speedy compared to anyone) and, hopefully, Oden’s lack of time (not to say he won’t play, just maybe behind and impressive Aldridge).

Game Recognize Andre Iguodala

2007-07-15T19:40:00.000-07:00

First, an introduction: I’ll be profiling some of my favorite players in these “Game Recognize…” spots and hopefully you will learn to like them as much as I do. These players should be known, but not quite superstars. Maybe they will reach that level one day, but as I present a basketball blog, I feel that some lesser known players should be recognized and though these posts will certainly not propel them to superstar status, somebody somewhere will keep a lookout for these guys.

Let’s kick it off with Andre Iguodala. As a diehard Philadelphia 76ers fan, I love watching this guy throw down. As the true 2006 NBA Dunk Contest champion, he is no stranger above the rim. But what’s most intriguing about this guy is that the Sixers will need him to step up this year. They’ll be looking to him to fill in the former A.I.’s leadership role, and he’s willing to step up to the challenge.
“I’m capable of being in that role and willing to have it”, says Iggy. He’s already backed that up with his game. After losing Iverson, the Sixers turned to Andre, and he delivered. They finished up the season with a record of 17 and 9 and Iguodala provided Sports Center with plenty of highlights. I’m definitely not afraid for the Sixers’ future under this guy.
In an NBA dominated by young SG/SF players, Iguodala is often overshadowed. “When I guard guys like Kobe, Paul Pierce, LeBron, Dwade, Melo, I learn things”. He seems unconcerned with fame, he just wants to emulate some of the best players and turn the franchise around. It is impossible to be unimpressed with the Chi-town product as he catches impossible oops from teammate Andre Miller while remaining humble but confident.
A fan really can’t ask for more from a player. Iggy is young, explosive, talented and stepping into a vital leadership role. Many people see Sixers fans as depressed, angry haters, but I can’t wait for next season because win or lose, the new spirit of the team brought by this guy is bound to pay off at some point.

So, keep an eye on this guy in 07-08. With one of the best passers in Miller at the point and a new leadership role, Iggy will not disappoint.

Ready or Not: High Schoolers Have Made History

2007-07-15T15:45:00.000-07:00

The issue of an age-limit has been nothing if not controversial as it applies to NBA eligibility. As the rule is now, a player must be at least 19 and one year removed from high school in order to be eligible which leads players to attend at least one year of college. As a fairly nerdy academia myself, I am in favor of this rule, but there are certainly reasonable arguments against it.
Even though the jump straight to the L has destroyed as many lives as it has improved the fact that the choice is left up to the players means the blame is really left on them. Sure, they’re kids, but as Uncle Ben would say, “with great power comes great responsibility”. No matter how you view the rule, some high schoolers have made hige impacts in the NBA and some of the best players playing now came straight outta high school.
The trend all started when the Sixers took Darryl Dawkins 5th in 1975 and after he took them to the NBA Finals in ’77, it was popularized. Moses Malone came straight out to, and though Shawn Kemp technically enrolled in college, he never played a game. But the true flow of high schoolers was kicked off by Kevin Garnett. Though skinny and young, he was athletic enough to make an impact right away and this inspired some of the best players to come right out. Since then, plenty of high schoolers have made history by coming into the NBA. Here are some of the best:

’96: Kobe Bryant - Charlotte Hornets
Jermaine O’Neal – Portland Trail Blazers

’97: Tracy McGrady – Toronto Raptors

’98: Al Harrington – Indiana Pacers
Rashard Lewis – Seattle Supersonics

’00: Darius Miles – Los Angeles Clippers

’01: Eddy Curry – Chicago Bulls
Tyson Chandler – Los Angeles Clippers

’02: Amare Stoudemire – Phoenix Suns

’03: LeBron James – Cleveland Cavaliers

’04: Dwight Howard – Orlando Magic

*Note: I listed the teams that picked them, not the ones for whom they first played. I refuse to list Kwame Brown, as he is terrible, but he was the first high schooler picked first overall.

If you read all that you deserve a break, so check out this mix. Not all these players skipped college, but they could have:

It becomes pretty clear that it isn’t impossible for a player to make a huge impact coming from high school and although I hold no convictions about the NBA’s policy on age, it wouldn’t be a disaster to let the players skip college. At the end of the day, the choice should be up to the player and though they are often naïve, it is their mistake to make.

NBA Mascots Are Funny

2007-07-12T19:18:00.001-07:00

To kick it off, the cream of the crop of all NBA mascotery, Clutch the Bear. The 04-05 NBA season's mascot of the year, he is seen as the model for dancing to goofy songs and slingshot-ing t-shirts throughout the world. Plus, look at the crotch.

Bango, the Milwaukee Bucks' mascot, adds a little holiday spirit to the old "Dunk Through a Hoop" routine. Best part about this, when you're done, hang the wreath over the stadium doors!

The Orlando Magic mascot, Stuff the Magic Dragon, gives this kangaroo the ol' 1, 2. Obviously, this is used as some sort of intimidation technique to scare the opponent. If the mascot can beat up a kangaroo, what chance do you have, Detroit Pistons?

Here's a nice little collage of NBA mascots on drugs... or something. The obvious question is, "Why would they do this?". I answer that with another question, "Aren't you entertained?"

Foul Start to Greg Oden's Career

2007-07-07T08:35:00.000-07:00

Between Man vs. Wild and SportsCenter, I actually watched a little bit of the NBA Summer League. There really can’t be anything more boring than watching a summer game between say, Dallas and Toronto, but I got a chance to watch the number one pick flaunt his mad skills on both ends of the floor… NOT!
Greg Oden started the game with three fouls in the first three minutes. At the end of the half he had as many fouls as points, at four. The beginning of the second half was no better as he picked up another three fouls in the first three minutes. Fortunately, the Summer League allows ten fouls, giving Oden the chance to rack up his six points and two rebounds before fouling out. As blame was mostly on him for Portland’s 74-66 loss to Boston, a series of excuses were in order. They include:

"It's a different game [in comparison to college]. They call it different,"

"There are a lot of things you can't do with hand movements and hand checks.

"I couldn't get into a groove tonight," he said. "There's always a lot of pressure out there because of who you are."

Well if those quotes don’t quell the worries of Trailblazer fans, I don’t know what will. As long as Oden doesn’t feel the pressure of being himself and once he realizes that the NBA is different from college, he can avoid racking up ten fouls in twenty minutes of play.
The reality is, the NBA Summer League doesn’t give a very accurate representation of how players will perform during the regular season, but with Oden ending the game with –5 fouls to give, let’s hope he can step his game up and turn it around. Oh, by the way, LaMarcus Aldridge, Portland’s precursor to Greg Oden, had 26 points and 11 boards.
Check this recap for highlights from what is probably the most boring way that David Stern finds to exploit his players and keep bringing in the big bucks in the off-season.

Here's Why You Usually Dunk By Yourself

2007-07-04T09:40:00.000-07:00

Apparently, watching three of your teammates destroy a backboard, while up 20 points anyway, calls for hopping in place.

So Many Free Agents, So Little Time

2007-07-02T16:30:00.000-07:00

After a draft for the ages and an ever-rising salary cap, the summer is sure to be fraught with trade rumors. Everyone has heard about Kobe, KG and Carter, but some interesting prospects have been ignored in the wake of these milestone trade possibilities. So, here’s a breakdown of some of the lesser-discussed rumors.

1) Rashard Lewis. After changing agents, Lewis is finally holding out for the big bucks, and opting out of his contract with the Sonics. Despite a primary meeting with Seattle’s front office, it seems unlikely that Rashard will play for them again. They drafted two forwards, both of which seem to be future Rashards and Lewis himself is being looked at by Houston. As Rashard blossoms into a rich superstar, he comes to expect a rich superstars salary, something that Seattle may not be willing to provide while keeping Green and Durant on the payroll.

2) Gerald Wallace. This guy is in almost the same situation as Lewis. He opted out of his contract with Charlotte and is now demanding a high-paying salary, something that the Bobcats hope to provide, but may not get the chance to. Allegedly, Golden State, Dallas, Orlando, Milwaukee, Detroit, Miami and Portland have all made inquiries. Gerald seems to be looking for a change and a team with playoff potential and any club would be lucky to have him.

3) Darko Milicic. Now for some reason, NBA teams actually seek this guy out. As a member of the Orlando Magic, however, his salary of $15.6 million leaves his team with no room to maneuver. If the Magic want to seriously pursue a talented up-and-coming free agent, and thusly the playoffs, they need to let Darko go. This leaves a pretty highly regarded pure center, a rare commodity, open to lots of different teams. Although no rumors have started to circulate about any specific teams, this story may be one to look out for.

Draft Night Mistakes

2007-06-29T11:42:00.000-07:00

Some issues, more important than the overlooking of Marc Gasol, have been the result of the draft. Most picks were conservative and well thought out, but some trades were totally boneheaded and ridiculous. These three just don’t make any sense:

1) Jason Richardson to Charlotte. Okay, this could prove to be moderately intelligent, but how can you get rid of the second most important player in the most infamous playoff upset EVER, I do not know. This is a pretty good move on Michael Jordan’s part, as he also obtained a pick, but Golden State really should have capitalized on the winning team they had, rather then seek out a young player who will need work. True, the missing part of this team was a solid rebounder, but rather than just draft this player for themselves, they took Marco Belinelli and chose to give up Richardson.
2) The Knicks obtained Zach Randolph from Portland and only had to give up Francis and Frye. Frye is by all means a project and getting rid of Francis’ contract was a great move, but Randolph’s high-caliber play might be one of the last things NY needs. The Knicks have LOTS of problems, but offensive post play is the least of their worries. With Eddy Curry leading the League in low-post play, Randolph really doesn’t solve any of their problems. It’s great to have two of the best offensive bigs on your squad but drop steps and hook shots won’t mean anything while your being dunked on and out shot all night. Randolph really doesn’t improve the Knicks’ chances of making the playoffs and he may be more trouble than he’s worth for this club.
3) The Celtics/Sonics trade is definitely the most boneheaded. Why, when you have Paul Pierce, do you need Ray Allen? At 6’5” and 6’6”, these two perimeter all-stars are almost useless in tandem. This duo cannot be effective at the same time. They both demand the ball for outside shots and they both play the same position. The only way Ray Allen can actually help the Celtics is if they trade him for a big or a point guard. Let’s hope they do make some sort of deal to get rid of one of these two and it better be worth the picks and players they gave up.

Spain's Most Famous Pop Singer Turned Basketball Player?

2007-06-29T11:07:00.000-07:00

Well, the draft has been all but completely wrapped up and it is safe to say the NBA has gone through some serious changes. The Knicks and Celtics made trades that will completely change the nucleus of their teams and several clubs, including Portland, Seattle and Atlanta are starting on the long road to the playoffs. But some of the worlds favorite players will be going undrafted this year. While Unkranian embarrassment Kyrylo Fesenko, Chinese loser Sun Yue and Finnish humiliation Petteri Koponen will be in the L next year, Marc Gasol won’t be leaving España.
After winning the Spanish Grammy for most effeminate new male artist, Marc has been creating a lot of hype around certain NBA circles. But despite his basketball pedigree, accomplishments oversees and dashing good looks, Pau’s little bro will not be displaying his talent in the NBA this season.
In case you couldn’t tell, I was being completely sarcastic. Marc is absolutely terrible. I was hoping to make fun of a team for drafting him, but as they have surprised me with their intelligence, I can only show this YouTube video, highlighting his inability to play.

I doubt you watched what must be the most incredibly boring highlight reel since Shawn Bradley Presents: Best NBA Handles IV, so I’ll just break it down for you. He obviously can’t dunk and can barely run. He’s really not even one of the best players in Spain and no one would know his name if it weren’t for Pau. Anyway, just thought I’d bring you this embarrassingly awkward highlight reel and keep in mind: Marc Gasol is TERRIBLE.

Secret Lovers, That's What They Are

2007-06-25T20:06:00.001-07:00

The Asian media reports that Yao Ming will be getting married this August to teenage sweetheart Ye Li in Shanghai. The two (known as China’s Sweethearts) have been dating for 8 years and the Titan Sports Weekly declares them, “A match based on pure love”. That is at least the second or third best thing a match can be based on, in my opinion. I know what you’re all thinking, how tall is this lady? Well she compliments Yao’s 7.5 foot frame with a respectable 6.2 feet herself and she also plays ball (a Chinese child prodigy is inevitable here).
This secret love was kept under wraps until the 2004 Athens Olympics, in which they both competed, where they were seen holding hands. Yao will marry the 25 year-old while he’s in Shanghai, their hometown, training with the national team.
But this couple isn’t perfect. These two lovebirds hope to keep their wedding quiet, leaving all inquiring minds unfulfilled. They know everyone wants a piece of this too-hot-to-handle power couple, but they refuse to provide any type of satisfaction to the greater media, "On that day there will be no media, basically it will only be relatives from both sides attending”. Well, this reporter says, we made you and we can destroy you. Hopefully someone will take some pictures on their camera phone.

KG May Want To Start Winning, Bad News For Minnesota

2007-06-21T20:49:00.001-07:00

Just as fellow discontented superstar Kobe is looking to move, KG has grown tired of losing with a bunch of losing losers. Although he has yet to demand anything, Garnett is more than open to a trade. Many rumors have suggested a possible move to Boston, a 5 for 1 type of thing, but according to agent Andy Miller, “The Boston trade isn’t happening”.
So where does the Big Ticket want to go? Apparently, a team in a warm-weather city with a legitimate chance at a title, i.e. any other Western Conference team. Well, not ANY, but Dallas, San Antonio, Phoenix, maybe even Golden State… But he has, fortunately, narrowed it down from that list. He’s looking at the Suns.
This would mean allowing the best player in the L to leave your team and help out someone in your conference, but it’s not like Minnesota could lose anymore games anyway. The T-Wolves would like to receive Amare and a first-round pick in ‘08 for their trouble. This deal is almost impossible given the luxury tax involved, but allegedly, they will be making an effort to get KG on their roster.
Garnett may finally be fed up with Minnesota and his addition to Phoenix could be legendary but it’s gonna take a lot of complicated moves to get him there.

The Slam Heard 'Round The World

2007-06-21T20:16:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the long hiatus, during which I’m sure you turned to some other provider for news on the Finals and the Draft. So here’s a little something different.
Kadour Ziani is probably the world’s best dunker. The 5’11” prodigy can do everything from a double windmill to a 360 to leaping over a Porsche thanks to his 56” vertical (yup, FIFTY SIX). He recently signed with K1X, the German basketball apparel company, but he states he’s not in it for the money, “I don’t have money, I don’t have anything. But in my hear I am rich…Some people need food to live. I need to dunk”.
This guy goes up, without caution or reserve, putting his body on the line for his love of jamming. “Each time I go up for a dunk, I am ready to die. I am training with death. I am not scared”.
Apart from his ability and his fearlessness, he also has some impressive philosophies. Kadour, a Frenchman of Algerian decent, wants to bring the universe together through the art of slam. Along with his traveling dunk crew, SlamNation, Ziani’s goal is to bring people closer. “I want to give people hope and the power to believe that anything is possible”.
But don’t take my word for it; check out one of the most impressive dudes to throw it down since… well, ever.

Bob Delaney Wants Bad Ratings

2007-06-13T07:03:00.000-07:00

"I Hate Superstars"

The Cavs were not robbed of victory last night. LeBron had a small chance of bringing it into overtime in which the Spurs would have, most likely, woken up and decided to beat Cleveland. Even LeBron said to the media after the game, “Incidental contact. It didn't affect my shot. I had a good look at it and I missed”. But with this said, that was a totally bogus call.
The refs were pretty terrible all game, giving Bron his 3rd off of an obvious flop by Bruce Bowen and Duncan his 3rd after not fouling Zydrunas. Even if they were close calls (which they weren’t) in the Finals you have to let your superstars play, especially with ratings the way they are.
The refs inaptitude came to be defined during the last play of the game. As LeBron came to the top of the key to tie the game with a three-pointer, Bowen intentionally grabbed him as he was going into the shot. This wasn’t a dumb decision, as two foul shots from a poor shooter while up three would probably seal victory, but he accidentally fouled him while shooting and there was no call. Despite LeBron’s comments to the media, he looked pretty mad after the game and there’s no doubt he would have liked those foul shots. He was definitely mad at Bob Delaney (not actually quoted above as saying he called lame fouls because he hates superstars, but you get the idea).
The Cavs are getting no help in this series and now they have to perform a miracle if they want to win this series. Maybe they can at least make it more interesting.

Shaq's Big Challenge: Not Accidently Crushing Children

2007-06-11T10:35:00.000-07:00

Bored of watching the Spurs manhandle the Cavs in a one-sided NBA Finals series? I know I am but Shaq, once again, comes to the rescue. Diesel is signed on to battle childhood obesity in his new series with ABC, “Shaq’s Big Challenge”.
O’Neal has selected a crack team of the worlds best scientific minds (too bad he couldn’t just clone 6 versions of himself) to help him pummel these children into shape. Shaq's own physician and trainer, Dr. Carlon "Doc" Colker, personal trainer Tarik Tyler, nutritionist Dr. Joy Bauer, childhood obesity expert Dr. William Muinos, M.D. from Miami Children's Hospital, Food Network celebrity chef Tyler Florence and Shaq's Louisiana State University coach Dale Brow are all there to do the “sciency crap” for Big Aristotle.
Shaquille O’Neal will help 6 lucky Floridian middle-schoolers personally, through good diet and exercise to the point that they are able to see their own toes. But the fun doesn’t stop there, after helping these children, “Dr. Diesel’s Dream Team of Nutritionologists” will attempt to change the way the state of Florida deals with children’s health all throughout the state. Shaq for governor, anyone? No matter what level of government Shaq ends up in, here’s hoping that he truly makes a difference for the children.
In semi-related news, Shaq could once spin on his head as parts of his break-dance routine, but he gained too much weight and he can’t do it anymore without breaking his neck.

If LeBron Wants to Win, He WILL Read This Post

2007-06-08T15:04:00.000-07:00

As I’m sure the blogging universe has already made you aware (or maybe you actually watched some of the irksome, tedious action of game 1) the Spurs dominated the Cavaliers. You already know that San Antonio double or triple-teamed LeBron and kept him to 4-16 shooting. You know that the Cavs were out rebounded, out hustled and out everythinged on both ends of the floor, but you also know that they only lost by 9.
Maybe it is my love for such a great David vs. Goliath story, or maybe it is my hatred but secret jealousy for Tony Parker, but I still believe that the Cavs will win, maybe even in 6.
LeBron had an unfortunate “not being able to score when someone is playing defense” problem last night. He relied on a fade jump shot and it clearly wasn’t effective. His sheer athleticism led to plenty of wins (and posters) throughout the season, but this is the finals Bron Bron, and you’re gonna have to step your game up. As I’m not a basketball coach, I don’t have a very well thought out game plan, but LBJ must go back to the fundamentals of scoring. Coming off picks, stepping into a set shot and some really good post moves are all that will be effective against the defense-oriented Spurs.
Of course, there is a down side to San Antonio’s plan of swarming LeBron. It leaves his sometimes less-than-competent teammates open. Gibson supplied the most relief for LeBron on offense and Pavlovic and Gooden really helped when their defenders left for the double-team, getting 13 and 14 points respectively. Zydrunas and Verajoa failed to take advantage of the absence of Tim Duncan on said double-team situations and if they step up it should either free LeBron or lead to some easy buckets.
Hopefully, with his teammates rising to the occasion and some new scoring strategies, LeBron will make this a more exciting series and maybe even leave with a trophy.

Reluctanly, Greg Oden Doesn't Suck... That Bad

2007-06-05T10:53:00.000-07:00

As the season winds down and the draft approaches, focus changes from whining NBA superstars to future whining NBA superstars. Enter, Greg Oden. I, for one, never really liked this kid. Is it his Neanderthal-like facial structure? The fact that he has the same disease as Robin Williams in "Jack" allowing him to play college ball as a 40-year-old man? No, actually it was just all the hype, from endless high school scout chatter to his glorified performance with the Buckeyes. For instance, despite getting more fouls than points until the last few minutes, Oden was anointed Ohio State’s savior when they beat Tennessee because of a last minute block. Admittedly, he was a pretty decent freshman, but I find it hard to believe he deserved all the recognition he got.
But all this said, inevitably Greg Oden will find success in the NBA. He’ll most likely be selected first, maybe second, and he’ll be bullied by Shaq for a few years but eventually find a place amongst the elite big men. What changed my mind about Greg Oden? Well, it was partially his dope beard, but it was mostly the following:
According to http://myespn.go.com/nba/truehoop, Oden out preformed most guards in pre-draft camp. He’s 257 pounds, 7 feet tall and he’s got a reach of 9’4”, with a 32 inch vertical to boot. But on top of his big man stature, he managed to run the 3/4 court sprint in 3.27 seconds, and the lane agility drill in 11.67 seconds. These times don’t really say anything about his speed or agility until you know that his 3/4 court time was only 7/100ths of a second slower than Ducks’ guard Aaron Brooks and that he beat Durant in both the agility drill and sprint. He’s also got a 7.8 body-fat percentage, while you’ll find that most big men are north of 12 percent.
Don’t get me wrong, Oden is still overrated, but at least he’s not the one-dimensional big guy I thought he was. His footwork, speed, 257 pounds of straight muscle and his unbelievable height make him an actually interesting prospect. Hopefully, Oden will have a right wrist come his NBA debut.

LeBron Skywalker

2007-06-02T18:46:00.000-07:00

LeBron has been impressive since day one. He led his Jedi Academy to the championship in High School and ever since then many have hypothesized that he will fulfill the prophecy and bring balance back to the Force. Though still young, he has shown strength and concentration worthy of Jedis twice his age. Of course, he has a long way to go in terms of meditation, but as he hopes to destroy the dark forces in the Eastern Conference Finals, he will hopefully reveal his full potential.
In game 5, he skillfully performed mind tricks on all of the Pistons and was able to force leap his way to the basket at will. He force pushed his teammates out of the way on offense to get necessary points while defeating Rasheed Wallace in an intense lightsaber duel. He truly trusts his instincts and they have lead him to become one of the most powerful Jedis in the playoffs since Michael Jordan. Hopefully, he can keep his concentration on ridding the galaxy of evil and avoid the temptations of the Dark Side.

Kobe's Choice

2007-05-30T18:10:00.000-07:00

Kobe may or may not be outraged by the Lakers inability to build a productive squad around him. He told Stephen A. that he was demanding a trade from the organization. Later that day, he told Dan Patrick that he still wanted to be a Laker for life. Let’s dive into the contradicting psyche of Kobe Bryant:

"I would like to be traded, yeah. Tough as it is to come to that conclusion there's no other alternative, you know?

------Two Hours Later-----

“Something can be figured out. Just something so I can stay here and be in this city and be with the team I love."

In any case, this was the guy that was worth giving up Shaq for and the Lakers aren’t going to give him up without a fight. If he does stick to his original guns, however, Kobe could go to some very interesting places. As he said to Stephen A. Smith this morning, "At this point I'll go play on Pluto". Here are some teams that might make a good fight:

- The Timberwolves. Minnesota has a frustrated superstar in KG, and the only way to gruntle a disgruntled veteran is to give him some backup, besides these guys are supposedly good buds already. Based on the players they got for Shaq (Odom and Kwame Brown), don’t expect the Lakers to hold out for a particularly good deal.
- The Bulls. Chicago could easily offer Tyrus Thomas and Ben Gordon for Kobe and as the Lakers seem to be rebuilding these young guns would be a good addition.
- The Knicks. New York cannot wait to get rid of the likes of Jared Jeffries, Nate Robinson, actually pretty much anyone but Steph and Curry.

Don’t get me wrong, Kobe could go nearly anywhere, especially since he probably won’t be leaving for another season, but those are just some interesting possibilities. Hopefully, he’ll be able to actually decide what he wants before next year.

How Mutombo Got His Groove Back

2007-05-25T13:47:00.000-07:00

Legend has it that Dikembe Mutombo was born the same day that James Naismith invented basketball in 1891. Over a century later, he refuses to retire and is preparing himself to play again next season. After a lunch with Hakeem Olajuwon and a family meeting, Dikembe decided he offers far too much to the game to deprive the NBA of his presence.
Mutombo has had a stunning career but I’m afraid that coming back this year may break the NBA’s immaculate streak of on-court-death avoidance. The man is a 40-year-old and he’s not only playing the most physical position, but all his value is tied up in his ability to shot-block and box-out the strongest guys in the league.
Not only is he expecting to return next season, he refuses to play for anyone else besides Houston. "I'm not going to open the door for anyone else. I just built a home in Houston. The people of Houston have responded to me in a spectacular way,” suggesting that although every team in the league would want to pick up this fresh free agent, he knows his stellar athleticism belongs on the bench behind Yao and under a brand new coach. Here’s hoping Mutombo can survive another season stroke-free.

NBA Stars Should Stick To Basketball, Especially French Ones

2007-05-19T19:08:00.000-07:00

Why aren’t NBA players content with the millions of dollars and admiration they already get? Many of them feel the need to go above and beyond the simple title of “Athlete Spectacular Super Human” and put themselves in the spotlight off the court. From Kobe to Ron Artest, some NBA superstars feel the need to express themselves musically by producing their own embarrassing rap albums.
Shaq, Allen Iverson, even Ben Gordon have all bought their way into the music business. No matter how ridiculously bad any other rappers are, Tony Parker takes the cake as the worst NBA Player/ Awkward musical artist. For some reason, however, he gets love from Fabolous AND Eva Longoria. I don’t get it.

In this video Tony P and Booba may or may not be holdin' it down. Keep your eyes peeled for your favorite Spurs, and you may even see a few of Parker's adopted children.

Amare's Crying Game

2007-05-11T19:10:00.000-07:00

There are only a few mistakes a team can make in the playoffs that will hurt them more than it would in the regular season. When the Mavs changed their game up in preparation for the Warriors, it gave Golden State a psychological edge. The change let the Warriors know that Dallas was at least a little concerned about the series. Rasheed Wallace’s comments last year gave the Heat a reason to hate the Pistons. And now, Amare has just fueled the Spurs.
Stoudemire said that the Spurs as a team are dirty, and continued to name Manu and Bruce Bowen specifically as dirty players. Regardless of whether or not the allegations are true, Stoudemire just put a target on each and every one of his teammates’ heads in the eyes of the Spurs.
Mike D’Antoni, a revolutionary NBA coach, understands the importance of proper etiquette during the playoffs and acted as if nothing in the world mattered less. "I have no idea what Bruce Bowen does. I don't really care. I don't want to get into it because it's so minimal that it's no big deal. It really isn't." This is the best possible response to Amare’s comments because it gives no more reason for the Spurs to hate the Suns.
It might seem like an insignificant comment and considering Bowen’s reputation it is probably true (and I've got some video evidence), but this is the type of thing you save until after you win the series. Amare should know that the last thing you want to do is give San Antonio another reason to beat you. This is a rookie mistake and I would have liked to see better from a player with NBA First Team talent. And don’t expect Bruce to clean up his D any, Amare.

To be fair, I would be concerned about injuries if I was out all of last year too, and nobody respects Bowen’s scrappy defense, but to make a public statement like that is asking for heated competition in a huge playoff series.

Nobody Nowitznessed

2007-05-06T18:00:00.000-07:00

First of all, this is a real promotional picture. It’s obviously weird, but I have a feeling that the Mavericks found it acceptable based on the fact that it had MVP disappointment Dirk Nowitzki’s face on it. (Feel free to click for a larger image if you want to make it your background).
I was never a big Dirk fan, but I've always respected his skill. He’s a former three-point-shootout champ 7-footer who has been known to post-up and handle the ball. As the leader of a 67 game winning Western Conference powerhouse, Dirk did seem like a shoe in for most valuable player, but I’m sure that the league wishes they could take that title back right about now. As I’ve said, Golden State is a formidable opponent but Dirk definitely didn’t want to be the one to prove that.
Averaging almost 25 and 9 every night and shooting 50% from the field, you really can’t blame anybody for naming him MVP and based on the regular season, he earned it. Normally, poor playoff performance can’t take too much away from a stellar season like Dirk’s, but this goes beyond poor. True, all the Mavs (save Josh Howard) had a terrible post season, but just as Dirk earned all the praise for the fantastic regular season, I’m blaming him for this embarrassment. As not only the most valuable player on his team but the most valuable in the league, Dirk has got to provide more.
In the playoffs his percentages dropped 12 and 20 percent for field goals and threes respectively. The team relied on him shooting over people and somehow he gave in to the not-so-stellar defense of the Warriors. I don’t think anyone is going to forget about this upset and Dirk may be remembered as the unworthy MVP who let his team down. I don’t Nowitzness anymore.

Ballers Behind Bars All-Star Squad

2007-05-03T19:37:00.000-07:00

As my “Basketbrawl” post proved, NBA players do what they want when they want. I’m definitely not going to try to stop them, but the boys in blue throughout the country have prevailed time after time, sending ballers behind bars every so often. The obvious question is, if all bad boy players were in the pen at the same time and they were on a team (gridiron gang style), who would start? Okay, so that question isn’t so obvious, but I’m writing about it anyway. Check the roster:

PG- Allen Iverson
SG- Kobe Bryant
SF- Ron Artest
PF- Rasheed Wallace
C- Jermaine O’Neal
Honorable Mentions: Stephen Jackson, Sebastian Telfair and Eddie Griffin.

Let me break it down for you,

Allen Iverson: After allegedly choosing Georgetown because the coach got him out of jail back in ‘93, AI was on a slippery slope with the law. He was sent back to the big house for possession of a gun and marijuana in ’97 and most recently, he was put under house arrest in 2002 for breaking and entering and then threatening two men with a gun. Plus, leaving Philly like that was a crime.

Kobe Bryant: Growing up in Italy and then the suburbs of Philadelphia doesn’t exactly breed a mass murderer and Kobe is no exception. Although never actually sent to jail, I’m still putting him on the squad because he’s definitely a rule breaker and as a basketball felon, it doesn’t get any more talented. His is the most infamous trial in NBA history and he’s avoided conviction by the skin of his teeth.

Ron Artest: This guy might actually be the biggest bad boy of them all. He disobeys rules on and off the court, taking a big part in the most infamous basketbrawl of all time. He’s been charged with domestic violence more than once and he’s more than willing to pick fights with fans.

Rasheed Wallace: Besides leading the league in techs for the last 382 years straight, Sheed is a certified thug. Having been charged for possession of marijuana, driving with a suspended license and he’s been fined thousands upon thousands of dollars by the league, Rasheed plays by his own rules. Although he has matured a little since his Jail Blazers days, Sheed is one of the top ten scariest people in the world.

Jermaine O’Neal: Admittedly, I was desperate for a Center, but this guy did get his hands dirty in that little scuffle with Indiana fans a few years back. After being suspended 15 games, he technically did have to go to court to see if he could play again and I wouldn’t want to meet this guy in a dark alley.

The Bench: Stephen Jackson shoots people. He’s never been caught, but it’s basically a fact. He has actually been charged of assault and he hates refs, but mark my words, he’ll be getting a life sentence one day.
Sebastian Telfair just barely escaped the Jail Blazers without arrest but now the Celtics don’t want anything to do with him since he’s been charged with possession of a firearm. Eddie Griffin was convicted of assault with a deadly weapon (trying to kill someone) and marijuana possession. This guy might be lacking on the court, but off it he’s just nuts enough to ride the bench for this all-star team.

The Bad Boys of Basketball want you to remember, they're rich and they do what they want. To see more outlaws, check this out: http://sports-law.blogspot.com/2005/07/nba-players-that-get-in-trouble-with_20.html

Old School Champs

2007-04-29T17:58:00.000-07:00

The Pistons are old school. In the new, sporadic, offense oriented NBA; Detroit has found success keeping it classic with tenacious D (without Big Ben) and high percentage shots. I expect them to bring glory back to blue-collar basketball when they teach the favored West something about timeless ball.
Dominating the less than impressive Eastern Conference the Pistons haven’t been pitted against the Mavs or Suns enough for me to tell what kind of game it’ll be, but what I do know is that defense wins championships, and Detroit got D.
The Suns will find it impossible to run on Detroit as the likes of Hamilton and Prince always get back and Sheed and Webber pull down the boards as the Suns saw in their 105-83 loss. As for Dallas, they might be as deep as the Eastern Conference leaders but they let Murray get 18 and 6 in the regular season… embarrassing. Now, that might not mean that Dallas will lose if these teams ever meet, but it does indicate that they are unable to cover every one of the versatile Pistons, while Detroit has the defense to cover all of the multitalented Mavericks.
So that’s the name of the game, defense and versatility. Something the Pistons have over the Mavs and Suns, and let’s not forget that the Pistons can score too, with all five starters scoring double digits and shooting nearly 50 percent from the field. Only the Bulls really present a threat in the East, but more than likely the Pistons will meat one of the previously presented West coast powerhouses, and if this is the case, they have a true shot at some rings (assuming Sheed doesn't kill anybody between now and then)

Basketbrawl

2007-04-25T18:47:00.000-07:00

The basketball scrap has been an important part of the sport for many years and although it may be questionable ethically, it definitely fills the stands. Fights in the NBA are inevitable as larger-than-life personalities square off against each other in a physical game. Say what you will about the brawls but they’re exciting and have created some of the most memorable moments in basketball. From Latrell Sprewell to Ron Artest plenty of players have found themselves being punished for their aggression. James Posey and Rasheed Wallace could potentially make the Eastern Conference Finals more interesting if their egos collide. Now watch some of these famous brawls and note as Vince Carter takes it upon himself to prove to the world that America means business.
*Warning: This Video Contains Questionable Content*

All Grown Up

2007-04-22T09:29:00.000-07:00

Some consider the Bulls to be going through a series of “transition seasons”. Of course after losing one of the best basketball dynasties ever, the only thing the team could be going through is a rebuilding stage. Unfortunately the team will never again achieve success like it had with Mike, but they are far from needing any reconstruction. The “Baby Bulls” are all grown up and this season, and many seasons to come, they are going to prove it.
The most incredible thing about the Bulls these days is while they can still be considered babies in age, they have the ability to beat almost any team on any given night. Without a doubt the acquisition of Big Ben is the coming of age ceremony for this club. The starters are the five reasons why the Bulls can’t be considered babies anymore.
Hinrich is an overlooked member of the infamous ’03 draft, but he’s certainly the purest PG from the class. Averaging about 7 dishes a night, this kid isn’t afraid to draw the foul. True, he sort of looks like a prepubescent child, but he’s man enough to go toe to toe with full-grown men.
Ben Gordon certainly can’t be considered a child. It’s simply a matter of time before this guy gets his all-star dues. He’s been a leader ever since he hoisted the trophy with UCONN in ’04 where he led the tournament with 21 points per. He was sixth man of the year as a rookie and the Bulls look to him in clutch situations. Only a man could step up like he has.
Andres Nocioni may not seem like a huge part of the Bulls lineup, but that’s exactly why he transcends the “Baby” label. He puts in as much work as anyone and he is probably the quietest player on the squad. He is willing to step out of the spotlight and become a role player, backing up Wallace on the boards and is willing to do all the blue-collar posting up for the team.
Loul Deng is the youngest player in the starting lineup, but he is far from juvenile. He throws down like only a grown man can, and he is the most balanced player on the club. He gets nearly 19-7-3 every night and he is the piece of the puzzle that bring everything on this offense together. Coming from Sudan can’t be easy and there’s no way you can consider Deng anything less than grown.
Which brings us to Ben Wallace. He embodies the full-fledged, diesel, hard-working, big man in the NBA. Undrafted, Wallace found his spot as a defensive superstar and now the 32-year-old is making $60 million in Chicago. Grown man muscles, grown man swagger (mostly the afro) and a grown man salary makes this acquisition the perfect move for a team that’s looking to win ASAP.
You can’t make the playoffs in this league without having a certain presence of mind and maturity. It’s not a fluke with the Bulls as this is their second year in a row. Nobody expects a new dynasty from these players, but you can’t call the babies anymore. This is a grown mans game and the success these players have found can only mean one thing; their not the “Baby Bulls” anymore.