Monday, June 2, 2008

I Know I've Never Heard of Him

Shaq Who?

The media’s connection with the NBA has officially reached over-the-top status. It was bad enough when any idiot could guarantee the public a victory in the playoffs (i.e. Jameer Nelson) but now, a Chicago radio show is willing to listen to some no name kid claim that he can take the Suns all the way one day. His name is something like Shakeel O’Kneel (spelling???) and I, for one, find it hard to believe that his name will be remembered, despite his claims to the contrary, "I think I can do enough to still get us there to win. . . . I will go out with a bang. My name will be remembered."
Considering I don’t even know who the heck he is now, I doubt I will be able to remember him when he retires. Maybe some of you recognize him for his more common name, Big Cactus. When asked about why this unknown role player chose such a strange nickname, he responded, "If you show anybody a cactus, they know what it is worldwide. There are 100 different types of cactus. Nobody knows its origin. You don't have to give it water, but it's known worldwide. And if you grab one, you will get hurt."

So NBA players out there beware because when you square off against this no name you should know:
a) Not to touch him
b) Don’t bother to try and understand his origin
c) Don’t expect him to stop to drink any water

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