Nothing Can Really Make Protective Goggles Not Goofy Looking

"These Are Protective I Swear"
OK, maybe DWade's goggles aren't this stupid looking, but they are unnecessarily stylish and I think this is becoming a trend in the league.
Dwyane Wade is the prime example of an NBA player that has done everything he can to transcend the role of athlete and influence social trends and fashion. First there was the armoresque spandex and undershirts, which I was willing to believe had some sort of actual in-game use that warranted the ridiculous iron-man look that it gave him. DWade was also at the forefront of the leggings movement that rose to popularity a couple of seasons ago, in which premier players began to wear spandex under their shorts that went all the way down to their socks, giving Kobe a Peter Pan look every time the Lakers wore purple.
But then, in the beginning of the end, Dwyane Wade was seen wearing a customized Band-Aid under his eye at the All-Star game. I might be out of touch with what’s “hot in the streets” but I know enough to realize that unnecessary bandages as accessory hasn’t been cool since Nelly’s “Must Be the Money” was number one. This brings me to the point of this article: Dwyane Wade’s new goggles are just another fashion statement masked as necessary athletic accessory. Let’s go over the facts.
In last night’s game Wade wore protective eye goggles, something players in the NBA have been doing for decades, but pseudo athlete/celebrity that he is, he felt the need to wear a tinted, “fashionable” version. The original design was banned, because defenses couldn’t see his eyes, but he still got away with wearing fairly trendy, sunglass goggles.
Ultimately, I don’t really have a problem with players taking an extra step to look stylish on the court, but when it trickles down and high school players unnecessarily wear full leggings and buy $50 nike shooting sleeves it seems as if players are trying a little too hard to stand out and seem fashionable, especially when their accessories don’t really help any aspect of their game.

I'm Back... Well, At Least For One Post

This Is Still the Bulls Comeback, Not the Wizards One

If anybody is still reading this, which would be a huge surprise considering my last post was over two years ago, I’ve got good news for you: my triumphant return to blogging has arrived. Now, a lot has happened in my absence, so let’s quickly review.
1) The Lakers won back-to-back championships. This represents my least favorite thing about the NBA and what I think is the main reason some are losing interest in it. The Lakers, Spurs, Celtics and Magic are among the perennial winners in the league and they are also (probably not coincidentally) the most boring teams to watch. It’s not that good basketball has to be boring, i.e. the current Thunder, but it almost seems like David Stern, TNT and ESPN are all conspiring together to give the dullest teams the most exposure. It’s unfortunate for most fans that this is the case, but it does give us all the opportunity to watch Adam Morrison ride the bench like a consummate professional each season.
2) Some big name players have changed teams and a few franchises have undergone some serious personnel and image changes (luckily Chris Paul is still on the Hornets so I won’t need to update my banner). The biggest move that comes to mind, and one that promises to go down as one of the biggest blockbusters in NBA history, is LeBron’s move to Miami. He was accompanied by Chris Bosh, but at this point in the season it’s becoming clear that in order to be considered a relevant All-Star Bosh would have to remain on a mediocre team. Until the playoffs arrive and we see how far the Heat are able to go, all discussions about LeBron’s arrogance, betrayal and legacy are pointless, but to me the true “move of the offseason” is the new face of the Knicks. Even though Amare will probably never be able to lead a team single-handedly deep into the playoffs, it is clear from the play of Wilson Chandler, Raymond Felton and Danilo Gallinari that Stoudemire has brought with him an attitude that the Knicks desperately needed.
3) The dunk contest remains lame and will continue to be lame until Chase Budinger wins (see video at bottom). The NBA also needs to institute a rule banning stupid costumes and props.
In short, it seems the NBA has been able to continue business even in my absence, but with the rebirth of GRG a new golden age will undoubtedly begin in professional basketball.

Big Fraiser Hopes To Become Big GM?

"What Does GM Stand For?"

In the few exciting days before the NBA season begins, one question is on everybody's mind. Would Shaq make an effective General Manager?
If you haven't already heard, Big Fraiser plans on purchasing the Orlando Magic with fellow washed up Phoenix Sun, Grant Hill. The fact that people don't actually know that Shaq would be the worlds worst GM is the only thing that makes this story actually interesting. Sure, he's been in the L for about 35 years and he's on a first name basis with pretty much every player that has been in the NBA in that time, but frankly... Shaq is an idiot. I hate to say it, but it's just my opinion. He was the most dominant college and professional basketball player to play in the last 20 years and he has more rings than most people could ever imagine but I just don't think he has been able to learn the intricacies of running a professional sports franchise in between becoming a certified deputy sheriff and the semi-serious commitment of playing 82 basketball games a year.
I may be wrong in assuming that Shaq thinks the job of General Manager entails hanging out with Grant Hill and going to the Dunk Contest once a year, but I honestly don't think he quite understands what he's getting himself into. It's great that Shaq wants to continue to be involved in the NBA, and no one is happier than I am that he wants to end his painfully dwindling career as a player, but I'm predicting a failure. You heard it here first.

Why Do I Keep Writing About Darrell Arthur? Because I Went To All That Trouble Figuring Out How To Spell His Name

"What Was My Favorite Class In High School? Uhhh... Square Dancing? Is That A Class?"

Sadly, Grizzlies' Rookie Darrell Arthur is making headlines again, this time because his former high school district has re-opened the investigation into whether or not he ever received enough credits to graduate. If the district discovers that he failed to legitimately graduate from South Oak Cliff High School, Kansas could have to forfeit all games in which he participated. This is particularly concerning given that Arthur was a pivotal player in the Jayhawk's victory over Memphis in the National Championship game this past year. Darrell Arthur could be responsible for the recision of a National Title and ruining the legacy of all his teammates, but it worked out for Chris Webber, so maybe it's not all bad.
I've always had a problem with the confusing restrictions the NCAA puts on a player's eligibility, and a lot of blame lies on the school for allowing Arthur to graduate without sufficient credits, but it's hard to argue with the punishment in this situation. If he shouldn't have been eligible to play in the first place, and given that he was a pretty important player in most of the games, Kansas did not win a legitimate title.
Arthur just made headlines for his expulsion from the NBA Rookie Transition program for alleged drug use, and this only adds to a negative image for someone that has yet to play in a single game. I hope that regardless of the outcome of the investigation, Arthur can create a better image for himself once he actually becomes an NBA player.

Baron Davis Better Cool It Now

You may have already seen this video but if you haven't, you have no idea what you're missing. Basically Baron Davis is the funniest human being alive and clearly doesn't care how ridiculous he looks.

Josh Howard's Protégé's Mentor... Josh Howard

"Wait, So You're Telling Me That No Black People Celebrate The National Anthem?"

As some of you might know, I recently posted an article about how some NBA up-and-comers have been exhibiting some less than model behavior. Well, this should come as no surprise given their role model is Josh Howard. After having a notable career at Wake Forest (and receiving an honorary "Josh Howard Day" in Winston-Salem), Josh Howard was undervalued in the draft and is currently employed as a standout player on the Dallas Mavericks. Unfortunately, he made headlines when he readily admitted to the use of marijuana in the off season.
Of course, I am not expending my 101st post spot to just rehash Howard's past (reHASH, get it?). He made headlines, or at least internet toolbars, again with some comments about the National Anthem he made during Allen Iverson's charity flag football game. During the song, he told a cell phone camera that, "'The Star-Spangled Banner' is going on. I don't celebrate this [expletive]. I'm black.'"

This comment is offensive and wrong on so many levels that I won't even bother to report on them here. I really like Howard as a player and he seems like a nice enough guy, but the media stories he is creating are making me reconsider my opinion of him.
Josh Howard, as you read this (which I'm sure you will be doing), I want to warn you that you are on very thing ice here and if you don't stop all this noise, you will lose your favor with GRG. That should straighten things out.

It's Gonna Be Me... Who Breaks My Knee Getting Off The Couch

The Portland Trailblazer's 2nd year rookie, Greg Oden (an avid reader of this blog), must have seen Shaq's wildly successful freestyle video, because he has produced a musical work of art himself. His album, entitled "Gregory Covers Allegro Moderato - Tres Doux", is set to drop in early 2009.



Fun fact, Greg Oden was actually one of the original members of N'Sync. He was that one with frosted tips.