Friday, March 28, 2008

Why Bother Recovering For The NBA When You Can Be A Street Legend?

"I Could Totally Beat This Guy"

Sorry for my long absence, but I knew it was the perfect time to put in my bid for the black/female democratic vote for president here in PA… it didn’t go too well.
Greg Oden has been busy too. Apparently, he was running some ball at the local Y, an activity I can only assume wasn’t mandated by the Trailblazers. The story goes that Oden went to a 24-hour fitness spot in Tualatin, Oregon where he played a couple games with the locals. Then, one such local came home and blogged about it:

“I just got home from the 24 hour fitness in Tualatin where I played in a pickup game with Greg Oden. He played two games, and obviously he dominated.”

This was all to the chagrin of the Trailblazer staff. Coach McMillan said, “In a couple of years he will understand how stupid that was… you just can't do that.” Personally, I don’t see why the coach is so mad. According to the blogger, NateBishop3, he dominated, dominated. I think more NBA players should test their talents in the streets, against the true, hardworking, tough talent found at Bailey Total Fitness or in the Chacatowa Elementary School or something. As far as I’m concerned, it’s the only way to prove you’re good enough for the NBA, to show people that all those dunks and blocks on ESPN aren’t a bunch of smoke and mirrors.
And imagine how NateBishop3 felt. I bet it was something like this (props to the always hilarious “My Wife and Kids” for the clip):

I mean, you’re in the gym, probably just finished with the stair master, stopped over at the court to practice your granny-style free throws, and in walks Greg Oden:

You:*banks free throw* Yessssss, just like mama used to make.
*Greg Oden walks in*
You: *dancing* OMG OMG THAT’S GREG ODEN!!!!!!!
Greg: Whatup b, you tryin’ to run some ball?
You: Wow, you’re face looks even worse in real life… I mean, ya I’d heart to play.
*Greg proceeds to dunk over you 8-10 times*
*He beats you 74-0 even though the game was to 11*
You: That was a super game Greg, thanks a thousand!!!!
Greg: I won! I won! Coach is gonna be soooo proud!
*You go home and take a 5-hour nap in a bathtub full of ice, then blog about the game*

Anyway, if you thought Greg Oden was some sort of fro-hawk rocking, weight-lifting, knee-breaking idiot, his decision to risk all the progress he’s made to recover from his season ending injury to prove he’s better than that smelly old guy at the Jewish Community Center gym should change your mind.

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