As you probably know, UNC played one of their signature pointlessly easy games against UNC-Asheville last night and it was as boring as expected… except for Kenny George. At 7’6” George is the tallest player to ever play Division I basketball and he's coming off the bench. To go with his height he has 360 lbs and no skill. He got dunked on by Tyler “Basketball? I Thought This Was The UFC” Hansbrough and despite grabbing a rebound here and there George didn’t make much of an impact in the game. My question is, why don’t they just run this play every single time. George would be 50% from the field, grab 50 of his own rebounds and score 100 points every game.
Game Recognize Game has always been about the people. I’ve made it a point to give my legions of fans what they demand and it was with this mindset that I proceeded to investigate last nights UNC (1) vs. Clemson (19) game. You probably all know that UNC barely pulled it out, winning 90-88 on a last second three pointer from Wayne Ellington. These types of things happen all the time. Basketball, especially on the college level, is exciting thanks to these games, so what’s special about this one? It gives me a platform to hate on North Carolina, hopefully setting myself up for lots of angry comments. First of all, I pose a simple question. Clemson? Really UNC? Clemson? Wow, that’s embarrassing. I mean, you’re the easy favorite to win the whole shebang and Celmson invites you over for a friendly game, where I’m sure they sold more blue and white shirts than home ones, and they actually take it into overtime. Now that that’s out of the way, here’s why UNC gets on my nerves. When March Madness rolls around, whose bandwagon do you think that everyone is gonna hop on to? I mean, sure they’ve had a great program for many years and yeah, they’ll probably win it all this year but a UNC 15-0 record means nothing. Beating the likes of Penn, UCSB and Valparaiso hardly proves anything. It’s the same thing every season, beat a few terrible programs, maybe pull it out against Duke, grab a good spot in the tourney and lose. So, I’m not impressed with their game against Clemson or the wins that have actually come as easily as they should have, but my big, BIG problem with UNC is Tyler Hansbrough. Here’s Tyler’s biography as I understand it:
-He was discovered as a pretty good player in middle school. -He transferred to Basketball Academy where he was held back so he could continue to play basketball without worrying himself with math, literature, etc. -He learned how to put his head down and throw up crazy layups, grabbing the attention of UNC. -He got punched in the face by Gerald Henderson. -He now is a 22 year-old Junior (yeah, that is a little old, huh?) who will have a strong career on the Atlanta Krunk CBA team.
So, let’s recap, UNC nearly got beaten by Clemson (a two point win off a last second 3 in overtime), 15-0 means nothing with their schedule (the best team they play besides Clemson is Duke) and they’re led by Tyler Hansbrough (22 year-old junior with a 5th grade education). I leave you with this, which I watch to vent some of my frustrations from time to time:
Notice how Tyler times his readiness to confront Gerald Henderson so that it’s just too late. Pretty convenient, huh?
This season in college hoops presents some very strong clubs scattered throughout the country. Memphis, UCLA, UNC and Kansas clearly dominate their individual conferences and seem to be locks as champs. However, there is one league with some exciting underdogs who guarantee an exciting season. You know that Georgetown, Villanova, Pittsburgh and Marquette are good, but here are some teams you might not know about.
DePaul: Draelon Burns and the Blue Demons proved my point but upsetting Big East powerhouse Villanova on Thursday. Now DePaul leads the league with a 2-0 record and hopes to surprise Georgetown too. Hey, anything is possible.
Notre Dame: Surprisingly, Notre Dame beat Connecticut in an impressive performance by Luke Harangody, but the real surprise came from Kyle McAlarney who went 13-19 from the field for 32 points. They’re clearly able to stay in any game, and the unranked Irish only add to the competitive Big East.
West Virginia: Notre Dame’s other win came against WVU, but the Mountaineers have little to worry about with Alex Ruoff and Joe Alexander as leaders. Ruoff is an experienced junior whose 16 points go well with 2 steals a game. Alexander leads the bigs with 15 points and 7 boards a game. Their first real test comes against Marquette who they are currently beating 21-14.
The Big East is one of the few leagues that is truly wide open and these teams are why, so look out.
It’s safe to say that the NBA is not a cultural melting pot. Sure, it brings some pretty impressive Asians over to the States, but there is one specific minority that I feel has been overlooked. Hanukkah passed without a single ‘Best Wishes’ or “Mazel Tov’ from Kobe, Lebron, Dikembe or anyone else. That is why I take it upon myself to wish all the Jews out there a happy belated holiday, with a little help from a Laker. Jordan Farmar, the only person to ever play in an NBA D-League game and an actual NBA game in the same day, is one of only two Jewish players in the league, the other being David Bluthenthal of the Kings (did he even keep his spot on the team?). Although he never publicly announced that he wishes everyone a happy Jewish holiday, the sentiment is implied. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find a video message from Jordan, but I feel that this one gets the same message across.
So, from all of us here at Game Recognize Game, we wish you a safe and happy Hanukkah (even though it’s already over).
After witnessing the Charlotte Bobcats’ woes during the short life of the franchise, we all knew it was only a matter of time before Managing Member of Basketball Operations (not a real job) Michael Jordan hopped on the court. Return of the Wizards era? Apparently, Jordan played with the team today, for a “brief workout”. More like “teaching them the play in which they pass the ball to MJ”. The GOAT is taking the team over and he doesn’t care who he steps on to get there. McNasty? Out. Jason Richardson? Jason Benchedson. Gerald Wallace? Give him the Basketball Operations job. Despite being 44 years old, I’m pretty confident that Mike can win more games than the ‘Cats (8-14) and look good doing it. Of course, I wouldn’t make outlandish claims such as a twice retired 44 year old playing himself without some evidence. Here’s what he said when asked about the empty roster spot on the team, “Nothing right now. We don’t want to just make a deal to make a deal because we have an empty space. If there is something out there that can add to this team and it’s economically worthwhile, we would look at it”. He doesn’t want to do anything about the open spot. Maybe because he already has it filled? It seems like playing someone who already has a management job is economically worthwhile. That’s enough evidence to stand up in any court. The acquisition of Michael Jordan is one of the most powerful moves an NBA team can make, and personally, I will be surprised if the Lord of the Rings doesn’t add one more to his collection, or literally die trying.
Playing game after game in the NBA can’t be easy on anybody, let alone millionaire athletes, but retired player Keon Clark had an interesting way of dealing with it. "I never played a game sober, unfortunately," he said after being granted another hearing in Illinois. He was charged with possession of an unregistered gun and a controlled substance and was facing a 2 and a half year sentence before the judge’s decision to give him another shot. Apparently Keon was riding the booze monkey so hard that he drank at half time of every game. Despite this, he somehow averaged 8.2 points per game and 5.9 rebounds. Imagine how good this guy would be if he filled his cup with Gatorade. If the sauce helps Keon Clark’s game out, maybe some current players should try it out (I’m looking at you Deron Williams).
Oh, there you go. Wow, doublin’ up so he can be twice as good.
Shaquille “Big Respect” O’Neal has always been a leader in the crusade against bullying. This has never been more evident than here, in a cut scene from SNL where he seems to protect and then serenade Will Farrell to sleep. Remember LeBron, Shaq was there first.
By upstaging Kelsey Grammer, I now deem Shaq “Big Frasier”.
