Big Fraiser Hopes To Become Big GM?

"What Does GM Stand For?"

In the few exciting days before the NBA season begins, one question is on everybody's mind. Would Shaq make an effective General Manager?
If you haven't already heard, Big Fraiser plans on purchasing the Orlando Magic with fellow washed up Phoenix Sun, Grant Hill. The fact that people don't actually know that Shaq would be the worlds worst GM is the only thing that makes this story actually interesting. Sure, he's been in the L for about 35 years and he's on a first name basis with pretty much every player that has been in the NBA in that time, but frankly... Shaq is an idiot. I hate to say it, but it's just my opinion. He was the most dominant college and professional basketball player to play in the last 20 years and he has more rings than most people could ever imagine but I just don't think he has been able to learn the intricacies of running a professional sports franchise in between becoming a certified deputy sheriff and the semi-serious commitment of playing 82 basketball games a year.
I may be wrong in assuming that Shaq thinks the job of General Manager entails hanging out with Grant Hill and going to the Dunk Contest once a year, but I honestly don't think he quite understands what he's getting himself into. It's great that Shaq wants to continue to be involved in the NBA, and no one is happier than I am that he wants to end his painfully dwindling career as a player, but I'm predicting a failure. You heard it here first.

Why Do I Keep Writing About Darrell Arthur? Because I Went To All That Trouble Figuring Out How To Spell His Name

"What Was My Favorite Class In High School? Uhhh... Square Dancing? Is That A Class?"

Sadly, Grizzlies' Rookie Darrell Arthur is making headlines again, this time because his former high school district has re-opened the investigation into whether or not he ever received enough credits to graduate. If the district discovers that he failed to legitimately graduate from South Oak Cliff High School, Kansas could have to forfeit all games in which he participated. This is particularly concerning given that Arthur was a pivotal player in the Jayhawk's victory over Memphis in the National Championship game this past year. Darrell Arthur could be responsible for the recision of a National Title and ruining the legacy of all his teammates, but it worked out for Chris Webber, so maybe it's not all bad.
I've always had a problem with the confusing restrictions the NCAA puts on a player's eligibility, and a lot of blame lies on the school for allowing Arthur to graduate without sufficient credits, but it's hard to argue with the punishment in this situation. If he shouldn't have been eligible to play in the first place, and given that he was a pretty important player in most of the games, Kansas did not win a legitimate title.
Arthur just made headlines for his expulsion from the NBA Rookie Transition program for alleged drug use, and this only adds to a negative image for someone that has yet to play in a single game. I hope that regardless of the outcome of the investigation, Arthur can create a better image for himself once he actually becomes an NBA player.

Baron Davis Better Cool It Now

You may have already seen this video but if you haven't, you have no idea what you're missing. Basically Baron Davis is the funniest human being alive and clearly doesn't care how ridiculous he looks.

Josh Howard's Protégé's Mentor... Josh Howard

"Wait, So You're Telling Me That No Black People Celebrate The National Anthem?"

As some of you might know, I recently posted an article about how some NBA up-and-comers have been exhibiting some less than model behavior. Well, this should come as no surprise given their role model is Josh Howard. After having a notable career at Wake Forest (and receiving an honorary "Josh Howard Day" in Winston-Salem), Josh Howard was undervalued in the draft and is currently employed as a standout player on the Dallas Mavericks. Unfortunately, he made headlines when he readily admitted to the use of marijuana in the off season.
Of course, I am not expending my 101st post spot to just rehash Howard's past (reHASH, get it?). He made headlines, or at least internet toolbars, again with some comments about the National Anthem he made during Allen Iverson's charity flag football game. During the song, he told a cell phone camera that, "'The Star-Spangled Banner' is going on. I don't celebrate this [expletive]. I'm black.'"

This comment is offensive and wrong on so many levels that I won't even bother to report on them here. I really like Howard as a player and he seems like a nice enough guy, but the media stories he is creating are making me reconsider my opinion of him.
Josh Howard, as you read this (which I'm sure you will be doing), I want to warn you that you are on very thing ice here and if you don't stop all this noise, you will lose your favor with GRG. That should straighten things out.

It's Gonna Be Me... Who Breaks My Knee Getting Off The Couch

The Portland Trailblazer's 2nd year rookie, Greg Oden (an avid reader of this blog), must have seen Shaq's wildly successful freestyle video, because he has produced a musical work of art himself. His album, entitled "Gregory Covers Allegro Moderato - Tres Doux", is set to drop in early 2009.



Fun fact, Greg Oden was actually one of the original members of N'Sync. He was that one with frosted tips.

Josh Howard's Protégés?

Recent NCAA Tournament champions, Darrell Arthur and Mario Chalmers, were caught with marijuana and asked to leave the mandatory "rookie transition" seminar in a New York-area resort. They have been banned from the entire rookie transition program, will be fined $20,000 and are subject to any punishment that their individual teams decide to implement.
Initially, this is really disappointing from two players who have a very bright future in the NBA, but according to Darrell Arthur, he wasn't involved in any situations involving marijuana. This is a pretty standard claim to make once you've been accused of possession, but the lack of evidence against the two has me questioning if this punishment is too severe.
Security claims that Arthur and Chalmers initially refused them entry into their room, at which point the police became involved. They found women and "evidence of marijuana use" a little bit after 3 a.m. on Wednesday. Officially, they were kicked out for having prohibited visitors, as no actual drugs were found.
It's one thing to kick the players out for having visitors that they knew they couldn't have, but adding a $20,000 fine seems a little excessive given that there's no proof of drug use. I'll admit to being a little biased for Arthur and Chalmers, given that they seem like good guys. If Ron Artest or Chris Anderson were caught in this situation, I would probably assume their were some dead guys in the closet as well.

Breaking News!

This tiny basketball is the most revealing piece of NBA related evidence since the plaintiff's underwear in the Kobe case:



This is a ball allegedly released by the new Oklahoma City franchise and it reveals a) the name, b) the logo and c) their crazy idea to have their players use a toy basketball. How could these 6'8" athletes even dribble or shoot it? Despite its obvious flaws, I actually commend the Thunder (name pending) for making this bold move. What better way to make a splash in your first year as a franchise than change what is possibly the most fundamental part of the game?

What's Spanish For "Wunderkind"?

"Tastes Like A Silver Medal"

The biggest basketball related story of the 2008 Beijing Olympics isn't how the US totally dominated every opponent. I'm pretty sure everyone saw that coming. The most intriguing player was Spanish 17 year-old Ricky Rubio. Now, I've been a fan of this player since he was in SLAM a year ago, but he had a chance to highlight his skills against the worlds elite and he proved himself a legitimate future NBA talent.
This phenom has an incredible basketball IQ, unbelievable court vision and he was able to shine on a team filled with current NBA players who were playing America's finest at a high-school age. Draftexpress.com has him ranked as the number one pick in next years draft and as far as I can tell, that would be a solid choice. His highlight tape won't be filled with dunks but, given his age, there are some incredible defensive plays and an experience level well beyond his years on display. Also, it's accompanied by R.Kelly's epic, "The World's Greatest"

Stop Euro-Stealing Our Players

I am seriously tired of all the NBA stars who will be “going to Europe in 2010” or whatever. Actually scratch that, they’re all going to be going to the same team, Olympiakos (Greece) in the future. It’s true that European clubs have no salary cap, and sure Olympiakos might be owned by two billionaire brothers (pictured below)…

…but still, they can’t possibly employ Kobe, LeBron and Dwayne Wade each for 50 million dollars a year. Even if they could, do you really think any of those superstars would be willing to move themselves and their family to a foreign country where they don’t speak the language or know the location of the hottest nightclubs?
It’s one thing when Josh Childress, Earl Boykins and Carlos Arroyo or geared up to leave the U.S. but NBA players who can actually find employment here would be more inclined to stay.
I’ll admit that global branding would probably be improved by, you know, going around the globe, but it’s not like Nike and Adidas don’t use these guys overseas to sell sneakers.
Call me old fashioned but I just don’t see superstars leaving the NBA, even if it means 30 million more a year in salary. It would be kind of like when David Beckham came over here. Sure he makes more money, and it got us sort of excited about soccer for a little bit, but ultimately he sacrificed being in a country where people really cared about what he did on the field. Besides, the Europeans have a very different definition of athletics than we do:

Gil's Grotto

What does the man who just signed a contract for 111 million dollars buy? A million dollar grotto. Between his Wizards paycheck and lucrative T.V. show deal with Cartoon Network, Gilbert Arenas has been able to buy himself possibly the most affluent pool ever constructed. The grotto is set to feature three fish tanks, a cliff face and a basement in which Agent Zero can watch all his game film on a phat plasma. Here are some pics:










Here is easily the best feature of the grotto. Gil has commissioned a mural of himself sitting in front of the white house with a pit bull. God bless America.

Greetings From The 2008 NBA Rookie Photo Shoot!

As usual, the NBA has taken the time to showcase their new rookies in a delightful photo shoot. Last year the result was some sort of weird music video where everyone was still into leaning with it and rocking with it (http://gamewreckgame.blogspot.com/2007/08/you-cant-keep-them-from-dancing.html). This year, GRG invites you to enjoy the event slideshow style.


Does Anthony Randolph's head always look like this? I'm pretty sure it's been squeezed.


It appears that the camera has caught Russell Westbrook in the middle of supermaning that OHHHHHH!



Haha Kosta Koufos. No joke here... no joke needed.


Usually these pictures are action shots or at least set up to make the players look tough. All Donte Greene seems to be missing is a bear skin rug and a fireplace behind him.


Look how sad JaVale McGee is. He can't be comfortable on that itty bitty stool. Giving him that was just cruel.

Somebody Out There Really Hates Kobe Bryant

For reading my opinions about things over the years, you've earned you some tube:



MVP? Yeah of Fire Island!

The Most Eventful Off-Season Since Last Off-Season!

The Next Charles Barkley? He's Chubby Enough

In an off-season that will in no way come close to rivaling last years (remember that whole KG/Ray Allen trade thing?) some interesting things have actually been happening. Our rivals at the Last Word (dsa31891.blogspot.com) have taken the time to write entire articles about each trade…borrriiinnngg. Here’s a quick snippet with some of my thoughts:

Elton Brand coming to Philly: I am generally a pessimistic person when it comes to the Sixers making trades and whatnot, but I can’t help but be excited about this. Although he’s almost 30 and coming off a pretty serious injury, the Rubber Brand Man is pretty much a guaranteed 20 and 10 player and he can only help a young team trying to advance in the playoffs.

Jermaine O’Neal going to Toronto: I’ve always thought O’Neal was an overrated player and I can’t see the Raptors going too far in the post season now that they have him. More notably, they lost T.J. Ford in the trade and have to upgrade Calderon to a starter without a decent backup. Calderon was better than Ford this past year but it might have had something to do with Al Horford breaking T.J.’s back by slamming him into the floor.

Clippers signing Baron Davis: This is clearly a good job by the Clippers and I can see Davis remaining an impact player for a few more years and maybe making the playoffs again if some of the younger players work out. I can’t help but assume that Davis was pretty mad when Brand decided to leave, but the Clippers have still had a pretty good offseason so far.

The offseason is far from over and the Lakers are still trying to fit in a blockbuster deal. They offered a Lamar-Odom-for-Ron-Artest trade to Sacramento which seems pretty lopsided to me. Artest can be considered one of the 10 best players in the League when he is performing to his potential and Lamar Odom is bald. Odom is a decent player but Artest is definitely better in every way. I can’t say what the Kings will end up doing but they can tick off the entire Western Conference by agreeing to the trade.

Can You Believe Shaq's Album Only Went Gold?

"I Love It When You Call Me Big Cactus"
Our favorite MC Shaq Diesel (aka Shaquille O'Neal (aka Big Fraiser)) is at it again, dissing former teammate Kobe Bryant in a freestlye preformed at some night club. Luckily, TMZ was there to capture the whole thing and put it up on the interweb for everyone to enjoy. You can check the video out, or skip it and read the important parts:



You know how I be
Last week, Kobe couldn't be without me
I'm a horse Kobe ratted me out
That's why I'm getting divorced
I love 'em
I don't leave 'em
I got a vasectomy, now I can't breed 'em
Chorus: Kobe *expletive*, tell me how my *expletive* tastes

A verbal beat down if I've ever heard one. Sure, Kobe was MVP and it seems like Shaq is in need of help while the Lakers won the West, and no, Shaq's vasectomy isn't relevant, but still... ouch. Of course, Shaq claims he could hardly help but preform a clearly rehearsed and planned rap for a group of people while being filmed, "I was freestyling. That's all. It was all done in fun. Nothing serious whatsoever. That is what MC's do. They freestyle when called upon". He was called upon, ok? Like what, he was just gonna sit there and not freestyle about Kobe? He's an MC people! While Stephen A. Smith and ESPN might criticize this move, GRG praises Shaq for having the guts to say what we were all thinking: What does Shaq's expletive taste like?
I'm just concerned about the inevitable comeback track from camp Kobe. If it's as hot as what Shaq provided, we could have another Tupac/Biggie situation on our hands.

In Case You Didn't Know, Basketball Was Also Played In The 80's

Wait a Second... These Are the Same Teams That Are Playing Now!
I’m sure you all want to hear my opinions on the most exciting NBA Finals in recent memory, which currently has the Lakers up 51-46 at the half in Game 1. Well you can go to ESPN for that generic, “journalistic" stuff. Oh, this is the first time these teams have met since 1987? I had no idea, Stuart Scott, thanks a billion for that. What’s that you say Michael Wilbon? These are the two teams that once employed Magic Johnson and Larry Bird? They were rivals? Now the teams are playing again, many, many years later? Amazing!
Despite the Entertainment Sports Programming Network’s best efforts to beat the point to death, this series is pretty interesting. I mean how close was it to being Detroit vs. San Antonio? If that had happened, GRG would have been converted to a hockey blog. I bet David Stern rigged the games just to avoid a 7 game series that seems like it goes on for 40 games. Here’s a look at what could have been but (thank God) was not:
Rasheed Wallace: Internal combustion. Makes a profanity riddled criticism of Brent Barry’s dunk contest victory.
Tim Duncan: Sets a new NBA record for bank shots. Annoying old guys claim to appreciate his irksome fundamentals. I commit suicide when suddenly realizing this is what got the Spurs their collection of rings.
Bruce Bowen: Reaches the career milestone of 400 billion flops. Realizes that, by never scoring a single point in his career, all his rings are tainted and undeserved. Cries himself to sleep for the remaining 35 years of his life.
Tony Parker: He’s actually pretty good at basketball and has an amazing life… IN FRANCE! Ha ha, sucker.
So, instead of that, we have Kobe potentially dunking on KG and vice versa. I don’t really plan on live blogging any games, or giving breakdowns, but I can refer you to “The Television” or “The Newspaper” for that info. If something funny happens, I’ll put that up for you, but pretty much I’m just getting ready for the draft. With Joe Alexander and Chase Buddinger coming out, the new era of the high flying white boy will be ushered in. The prophecy is fulfilled!

I Know I've Never Heard of Him

Shaq Who?

The media’s connection with the NBA has officially reached over-the-top status. It was bad enough when any idiot could guarantee the public a victory in the playoffs (i.e. Jameer Nelson) but now, a Chicago radio show is willing to listen to some no name kid claim that he can take the Suns all the way one day. His name is something like Shakeel O’Kneel (spelling???) and I, for one, find it hard to believe that his name will be remembered, despite his claims to the contrary, "I think I can do enough to still get us there to win. . . . I will go out with a bang. My name will be remembered."
Considering I don’t even know who the heck he is now, I doubt I will be able to remember him when he retires. Maybe some of you recognize him for his more common name, Big Cactus. When asked about why this unknown role player chose such a strange nickname, he responded, "If you show anybody a cactus, they know what it is worldwide. There are 100 different types of cactus. Nobody knows its origin. You don't have to give it water, but it's known worldwide. And if you grab one, you will get hurt."

So NBA players out there beware because when you square off against this no name you should know:
a) Not to touch him
b) Don’t bother to try and understand his origin
c) Don’t expect him to stop to drink any water

It's Been A While, So Listen To My Stream of Consciousness

"We Won't Have To Take Another Joakim Noah This Year"


In honor of the new, edgy Game Recognize Game format, I actually watched the NBA Draft Lottery today so that I could filter the 30 minutes it takes to the 2 minutes of actually necessary information for you. The draft picks landed as follows:

1) Chicago Bulls
2) Miami Heat
3) Minnesota Timberwolves
4) Seattle Supersonics
5) Memphis Grizzlies
6) New York Knicks
7) L.A. Clippers
8) Milwaukee Bucks
9) Charlotte Bobcats
10) New Jersey Nets
11) Indiana Pacers
12) Sacremento Kings
13) Portland Trail Blazers
14) Golden State Warriors

That right there is a list you can find almost anywhere else starting tomorrow, but here are some fun facts that can only be supplied by GRG (after I copy them from somewhere else).

Chicago had a 1.7 percent chance of winning, but everyone else can take solace in the fact that they still don’t have a head coach.

Jay-Z represented New Jersey during the lottery. H to the Izzo didn’t exactly look natural flanked by the infamous moustaches of Larry Bird and Mike D’Antoni, but I expect to see more of him after he moves the Nets to Crooklyn and takes the head coaching job.

Some young Timberwolves fan who has had over 100 surgeries gave the representative his teddy bear to bring for good luck. The Twolves proceeded to get the 3rd pick… thanks for nothing God.

A season ticket holder who won a sweepstakes represented the Kings. She got the 12th pick and I promise they’ll never hold that sweepstakes again.

Anyway, this season isn’t even over yet and I hope the Spurs know that almost everyone outside of San Antonio is disappointed that they beat New Orleans. I can only hope the Lakers will pull some of these shenanigans to make the series at least a little interesting:



Subscribe to what?

Barack OBallin'

In case it wasn’t clear that Barack Obama is the “hip” presidential candidate, he announced on WFNI 1070 that if elected he would replace the White House’s bowling alley with a basketball court, “There’s not only a chance, but it’s a guarantee.”. Apparently this guy took his Hawaii high school team to a 1979 state championship. Given, his state was Hawaii… but still, not too shabby. In fact that here’s some video evidence of his skills:



I’m sure Obama was good back in the day, but he has some pretty offensive comments for some big time players. He said that Indiana’s Eric Gordon “could use some guidance.” Yeah, sure you could probably improve his international policy Barack, but I don’t know if he’s about to come over to your house for some dribbling tips. Then, Obama went on to undercut the GOAT, “I was No. 23 before Michael Jordan was 23.” Oh you’re probably right, Mike probably wore it to rep you. But Obama surely doesn’t think he has NBA talent, right? Well, he described himself as “a slasher, a three, maybe a poor man’s Scottie Pippen or Tayshaun Prince – a guy like that without as much talent.” I see right through your clever campaign tactics, remaining neutral and humbling yourself. We all know you think Prince and Pippen are bums and you could do better.
Through his arrogant tirade, I got the sense that Obama has at least a little respect for the games greats. That’s why I suggest these players as select members of his potential cabinet:

-Kobe Bryant: Ambassador to White Girls
-Shaquille O’Neal: Select Surgeon General for Obese Children
-Stephon Marbury: Any job in the Department of Education

Those are just some suggestions, but all I’m saying is, if Obama is elected he will bring his slashing and his three to the White House, but I don’t know how well his flair for the smack talk will go with the Middle East.

Why Bother Recovering For The NBA When You Can Be A Street Legend?

"I Could Totally Beat This Guy"
Sorry for my long absence, but I knew it was the perfect time to put in my bid for the black/female democratic vote for president here in PA… it didn’t go too well.
Greg Oden has been busy too. Apparently, he was running some ball at the local Y, an activity I can only assume wasn’t mandated by the Trailblazers. The story goes that Oden went to a 24-hour fitness spot in Tualatin, Oregon where he played a couple games with the locals. Then, one such local came home and blogged about it:

“I just got home from the 24 hour fitness in Tualatin where I played in a pickup game with Greg Oden. He played two games, and obviously he dominated.”

This was all to the chagrin of the Trailblazer staff. Coach McMillan said, “In a couple of years he will understand how stupid that was… you just can't do that.” Personally, I don’t see why the coach is so mad. According to the blogger, NateBishop3, he dominated, dominated. I think more NBA players should test their talents in the streets, against the true, hardworking, tough talent found at Bailey Total Fitness or in the Chacatowa Elementary School or something. As far as I’m concerned, it’s the only way to prove you’re good enough for the NBA, to show people that all those dunks and blocks on ESPN aren’t a bunch of smoke and mirrors.
And imagine how NateBishop3 felt. I bet it was something like this (props to the always hilarious “My Wife and Kids” for the clip):




I mean, you’re in the gym, probably just finished with the stair master, stopped over at the court to practice your granny-style free throws, and in walks Greg Oden:

You:*banks free throw* Yessssss, just like mama used to make.
*Greg Oden walks in*
You: *dancing* OMG OMG THAT’S GREG ODEN!!!!!!!
Greg: Whatup b, you tryin’ to run some ball?
You: Wow, you’re face looks even worse in real life… I mean, ya I’d heart to play.
*Greg proceeds to dunk over you 8-10 times*
*He beats you 74-0 even though the game was to 11*
You: That was a super game Greg, thanks a thousand!!!!
Greg: I won! I won! Coach is gonna be soooo proud!
*You go home and take a 5-hour nap in a bathtub full of ice, then blog about the game*

Anyway, if you thought Greg Oden was some sort of fro-hawk rocking, weight-lifting, knee-breaking idiot, his decision to risk all the progress he’s made to recover from his season ending injury to prove he’s better than that smelly old guy at the Jewish Community Center gym should change your mind.

UCLA Steals The Game From Stanford, With A Little Help From The Refs

In the first replay since 1982, the NBA is allowing the Heat and the Hawks to play the final 51.9 seconds from December 19th over again. The Heat demanded the replay after Shaq was benched with a reported 6 fouls, even though he only had 5. The Hawks won the game thanks to their satiations error, but the replay idea reeks of stupidity since Shaq won’t play in this game either. Instead of a “replay” of the final 51.9 seconds of a previous game, this becomes, basically, a 52 second game between two different teams.
But I say, let them do whatever they want. In fact, more games should only be 52 seconds long, especially ones between Atlanta and Miami. Plus, the replay brings some interesting possibilities. As I wasn’t around in 1982, I’ve never really considered the idea of giving the end of a game another go because of a decisive mistake on the part of the officials, but now that I think about it, these things should happen more often. Case in point, Stanford vs. UCLA yesterday.
As UCLA guard Nick Collison drove through the lane with 3 seconds left in the 2nd, he got blocked by Stanford’s Lawrence Hill, sealing victory for the Cardinal’s who were up 63-61. Notice how I said that Collison got blocked by Hill. Blocked: When you reject a shot by stopping the ball on its way up, without making any contact with the shooter. That’s what happened. In fact, I encourage you to look for yourself:



Hill doesn’t touch Collison, who ended up going to the line, hitting both shots and sending the game to overtime where the Bruin’s won. This is a bad call anytime, but it becomes actually offensive when made at the last second in a game that goes a long way in deciding the PAC-10 Champion.
I didn’t actually see this game live, but I’ve heard that bad calls were abundant throughout. Regardless, deciding to dish out a make-up call on the classic, last-second, decisive play is pretty suspicious [insert Donaghy joke]. I used to think that the NCAA was free of favoritism, as long as UNC wasn’t playing anyway.

This Is The Easiest Job Ever. Well, It Would Be If I Got Paid.

Knock Knock
Who's There?
Bam:

What is it with the fro-hawk these days?

There's A New 3rd Best Team In The East. Oh Wait, I Guess Nothing Changed.

What Do These Guys Have In Common? They Won't Be Dunked On By LeBron Anymore

In classic form, the NBA took the last 45 seconds before 3 o’clock yesterday to make as many pointless and confusing trades as possible before the deadline. Dallas has Jason Kidd, Atlanta has Mike Bibby and the Suns have some unknown young gun whose dreams could take him to the top. One of the most complicated trades came in a three-way blockbuster between Chicago, Seattle and Cleveland. Cleveland got Ben Wallace, Joe Smith, Delonte West and Wally Szczerbiak and sent Larry Hughes and Drew Gooden to Chicago and Donyell Marshall to Seattle. Before analyzing this trade, I think you should all take a look at the conversation preceding it:

February 21, 2008 2:45 P.M.
Chicago: *Ring Ring* Hello?
Cleveland: Hey Chicago, it’s me, Cleveland.
Chicago: Oh, ‘sup.
Cleveland: Not much, LeBron is crying about how bad his team is. As if he doesn’t get to play with Ira Newble.
Chicago: Ah, it all becomes clear, you must be calling about Thabo Sefolosha.
Cleveland: Uh, yeah I was thinking more like Ben Wallace and Joe Smith for Larry Hughes and Drew Gooden?
Chicago: *Pumps Fist* OH YEAH! Kiss your spot goodbye Hinrich!
Cleveland: Uh, yeah. Any chance I could dump Donyell Marshall on you, too?
Chicago: Yeah, right. That guy can’t even dress himself. Throw him at Seattle.
Seattle: *Over Enthusiastically* Hey guys, whassuuuuuuup?!
Cleveland: Hey bud, we were just wondering if you’d like Donyell Marshall. He’s averaging 16 and 10 (in 2003).
Seattle: Gosh, really?! Yeah jeez of course. Here, take some key players from my young nucleus that I totally revamped my team to create.
Cleveland: *Snickering* K, see you at the Finals. *Starts Laughing Uncontrollably and Hangs Up*
Seattle: What a nice guy.

Ok so now that you know what happened, here’s the significance. Cleveland got a lot better. I don’t care about fitting in with the team style blah blah blah. Anytime that you can trade Larry Hughes (who has been playing well recently but so has Joe Smith) and Drew Gooden and get a solid power forward (in Smith), an over 40% 3-point shooter (in Wally), a good young point guard (Delonte) who can fill in for Daniel Gibson while he’s hurt and one of the best defenders in the NBA (Ben Wallace). I hate to say it but Big Z just wasn’t getting it done in Cleveland defensively and starting Ben Wallace at the 4 should help. Wally really spreads the floor, giving room for LeBron, and Delonte West isn’t a shabby pickup either. And if you don’t think that having Joe Smith is a step up from Anderson Varejao, you’re crazy.
Chicago also made a good trade, assuming they gave up on getting a title this year. Drew Gooden is a solid scorer and rebounder and Larry Hughes still has a little left in the tank. I don’t know what they plan to do with Hughes, Hinrich and Gordon together but they really can’t all play at the same time. Ben Wallace wasn’t doing anything for Chicago and definitely not enough to help them out of their 21-32 season.
I really have no idea what Seattle is doing here. I guess they’re clearing a lot of cap room and getting ready to sign some expensive free agents over the summer, but they’ve definitely given up on the whole “rebuilding stage” idea. They throw Kurt Thomas over to the Spurs and get the aging Brent Barry. They get rid of Delonte West and Wally Howdoyouspellit and take Donyell Marshall in return. I just feel bad for whatever big time free agent the Supersonics sign, because this team is going nowhere fast.

He's Throwing Towels! Can He Do That?

This is just perfect. I mean, I really don’t have to do any work when I’m given a YouTube video like this. What you’ll see here is a little in-huddle fight between a couple of New York Knicks, Zach Randolph and Nate Robinson. Just when you thought things couldn’t get any worse in New York, the players don’t even bother to pretend they like each other anymore. It’s really like the players just thought I wasn’t updating my site enough and wanted to give me something easy to show everyone.


Two more things:
1) They actually won this game. Maybe the Knicks should throw water on each other more.
2) I have no idea what that girl is doing at the end of the video so don’t ask me (but if you must know, yes I love EBS too).

Shaq Has An(other) Illegitimate Son?

"Whatever You Do, Don't Put Out An Album"

I understand that it might be a little hard to notice these days, but Dwight Howard is a lot like Shaq. I mean, a lot like him. You’ve all seen last years All-Star dance contest, but these two have more in common then just YouTube take over. The fact that they were both selected first overall to Orlando should say something. All this talk about how Dwight Howard is a clear superstar who is still so raw and has so much room for improvement sounds a lot like Shaq’s hype back in ’96. In fact, lets look at ’96 a little bit closer. Shaq was 26 points with 11 rebounds and 2 blocks, shooting 57% from the field in his 4th season. Shooting might not be the best word. Big Fraiser basically dunked it every single time. Sounds a lot like Dwight Howard. In this, Howard’s 4th season, Dwight is averaging 22 points, 14 rebounds 2 blocks and he’s shooting (more like dunking) at about 59%. Aside from stats, position and ability, it’s important to remember that Shaq was just about the goofiest big man ever when he came into the league. These days Dwight Howard is dancing, joking and smiling into all of our hearts. Still, to really get a sense of how similar these two are, you really have to watch them play. Here’s a video that allows you to do just that. (For the record, I thought of this before I found the video).



So what does this mean for the future of Dwight? He'll play with the Lakers until Kobe gets jealous and ships him off.

Making History Is Not Always A Good Thing

He's Only 7'5" Without Shoes On

As you probably know, UNC played one of their signature pointlessly easy games against UNC-Asheville last night and it was as boring as expected… except for Kenny George. At 7’6” George is the tallest player to ever play Division I basketball and he's coming off the bench. To go with his height he has 360 lbs and no skill. He got dunked on by Tyler “Basketball? I Thought This Was The UFC” Hansbrough and despite grabbing a rebound here and there George didn’t make much of an impact in the game.
My question is, why don’t they just run this play every single time. George would be 50% from the field, grab 50 of his own rebounds and score 100 points every game.


He doesn’t even have to jump.

Finally, A Reason To Hate On Hansbrough... Just Try And Keep Up With Me Here

"C'mon! It's Clemson! CLEMSON! ARGH!"

Game Recognize Game has always been about the people. I’ve made it a point to give my legions of fans what they demand and it was with this mindset that I proceeded to investigate last nights UNC (1) vs. Clemson (19) game. You probably all know that UNC barely pulled it out, winning 90-88 on a last second three pointer from Wayne Ellington. These types of things happen all the time. Basketball, especially on the college level, is exciting thanks to these games, so what’s special about this one? It gives me a platform to hate on North Carolina, hopefully setting myself up for lots of angry comments.
First of all, I pose a simple question. Clemson? Really UNC? Clemson? Wow, that’s embarrassing. I mean, you’re the easy favorite to win the whole shebang and Celmson invites you over for a friendly game, where I’m sure they sold more blue and white shirts than home ones, and they actually take it into overtime.
Now that that’s out of the way, here’s why UNC gets on my nerves. When March Madness rolls around, whose bandwagon do you think that everyone is gonna hop on to? I mean, sure they’ve had a great program for many years and yeah, they’ll probably win it all this year but a UNC 15-0 record means nothing. Beating the likes of Penn, UCSB and Valparaiso hardly proves anything. It’s the same thing every season, beat a few terrible programs, maybe pull it out against Duke, grab a good spot in the tourney and lose.
So, I’m not impressed with their game against Clemson or the wins that have actually come as easily as they should have, but my big, BIG problem with UNC is Tyler Hansbrough. Here’s Tyler’s biography as I understand it:

-He was discovered as a pretty good player in middle school.
-He transferred to Basketball Academy where he was held back so he could continue to play basketball without worrying himself with math, literature, etc.
-He learned how to put his head down and throw up crazy layups, grabbing the attention of UNC.
-He got punched in the face by Gerald Henderson.
-He now is a 22 year-old Junior (yeah, that is a little old, huh?) who will have a strong career on the Atlanta Krunk CBA team.

So, let’s recap, UNC nearly got beaten by Clemson (a two point win off a last second 3 in overtime), 15-0 means nothing with their schedule (the best team they play besides Clemson is Duke) and they’re led by Tyler Hansbrough (22 year-old junior with a 5th grade education).
I leave you with this, which I watch to vent some of my frustrations from time to time:


Notice how Tyler times his readiness to confront Gerald Henderson so that it’s just too late. Pretty convenient, huh?

The Big East Is Wide Open This Year

This season in college hoops presents some very strong clubs scattered throughout the country. Memphis, UCLA, UNC and Kansas clearly dominate their individual conferences and seem to be locks as champs. However, there is one league with some exciting underdogs who guarantee an exciting season. You know that Georgetown, Villanova, Pittsburgh and Marquette are good, but here are some teams you might not know about.

DePaul:
Draelon Burns and the Blue Demons proved my point but upsetting Big East powerhouse Villanova on Thursday. Now DePaul leads the league with a 2-0 record and hopes to surprise Georgetown too. Hey, anything is possible.



Notre Dame:
Surprisingly, Notre Dame beat Connecticut in an impressive performance by Luke Harangody, but the real surprise came from Kyle McAlarney who went 13-19 from the field for 32 points. They’re clearly able to stay in any game, and the unranked Irish only add to the competitive Big East.



West Virginia:
Notre Dame’s other win came against WVU, but the Mountaineers have little to worry about with Alex Ruoff and Joe Alexander as leaders. Ruoff is an experienced junior whose 16 points go well with 2 steals a game. Alexander leads the bigs with 15 points and 7 boards a game. Their first real test comes against Marquette who they are currently beating 21-14.



The Big East is one of the few leagues that is truly wide open and these teams are why, so look out.