Festival Of Lights... AT CLUB ELEMENT!

"If You Like Matzah, Say Heyyy!"
It’s safe to say that the NBA is not a cultural melting pot. Sure, it brings some pretty impressive Asians over to the States, but there is one specific minority that I feel has been overlooked. Hanukkah passed without a single ‘Best Wishes’ or “Mazel Tov’ from Kobe, Lebron, Dikembe or anyone else. That is why I take it upon myself to wish all the Jews out there a happy belated holiday, with a little help from a Laker.
Jordan Farmar, the only person to ever play in an NBA D-League game and an actual NBA game in the same day, is one of only two Jewish players in the league, the other being David Bluthenthal of the Kings (did he even keep his spot on the team?). Although he never publicly announced that he wishes everyone a happy Jewish holiday, the sentiment is implied. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find a video message from Jordan, but I feel that this one gets the same message across.

So, from all of us here at Game Recognize Game, we wish you a safe and happy Hanukkah (even though it’s already over).

It's Been A Long Time

After witnessing the Charlotte Bobcats’ woes during the short life of the franchise, we all knew it was only a matter of time before Managing Member of Basketball Operations (not a real job) Michael Jordan hopped on the court. Return of the Wizards era?
Apparently, Jordan played with the team today, for a “brief workout”. More like “teaching them the play in which they pass the ball to MJ”. The GOAT is taking the team over and he doesn’t care who he steps on to get there. McNasty? Out. Jason Richardson? Jason Benchedson. Gerald Wallace? Give him the Basketball Operations job. Despite being 44 years old, I’m pretty confident that Mike can win more games than the ‘Cats (8-14) and look good doing it.
Of course, I wouldn’t make outlandish claims such as a twice retired 44 year old playing himself without some evidence. Here’s what he said when asked about the empty roster spot on the team, “Nothing right now. We don’t want to just make a deal to make a deal because we have an empty space. If there is something out there that can add to this team and it’s economically worthwhile, we would look at it”. He doesn’t want to do anything about the open spot. Maybe because he already has it filled? It seems like playing someone who already has a management job is economically worthwhile. That’s enough evidence to stand up in any court.
The acquisition of Michael Jordan is one of the most powerful moves an NBA team can make, and personally, I will be surprised if the Lord of the Rings doesn’t add one more to his collection, or literally die trying.

He Likes The Bartender (Ooh If You're Lookin' For Keon Clark)

"I Really Need To Learn
How To Hydrate Better"

Playing game after game in the NBA can’t be easy on anybody, let alone millionaire athletes, but retired player Keon Clark had an interesting way of dealing with it. "I never played a game sober, unfortunately," he said after being granted another hearing in Illinois. He was charged with possession of an unregistered gun and a controlled substance and was facing a 2 and a half year sentence before the judge’s decision to give him another shot. Apparently Keon was riding the booze monkey so hard that he drank at half time of every game. Despite this, he somehow averaged 8.2 points per game and 5.9 rebounds. Imagine how good this guy would be if he filled his cup with Gatorade. If the sauce helps Keon Clark’s game out, maybe some current players should try it out (I’m looking at you Deron Williams).


Oh, there you go. Wow, doublin’ up so he can be twice as good.

Who Divorces This Guy?

Shaquille “Big Respect” O’Neal has always been a leader in the crusade against bullying. This has never been more evident than here, in a cut scene from SNL where he seems to protect and then serenade Will Farrell to sleep. Remember LeBron, Shaq was there first.



By upstaging Kelsey Grammer, I now deem Shaq “Big Frasier”.

From The Windows To The Walls: The Krunk Are All About Marburys

"Atlanta, Here I Come"
First of all, this post has very little to do with Lil' Jon or even Atlanta really, so all those who googled "Atlanta Krunk" are not in the right place. Though I am known to both snap my fingers AND do my step, this post is actually about the Atlanta Krunk, the infamous CBA team.
It seems that the Kenny Anderson coached team has employed Zach Marbury, Stephon’s little brother, as their point guard. Now, I’m sure that Zach is a very capable point guard and in his defense he has yet to get in a fight with Isiah Thomas, but I find it hard to believe that Stephon is sponsoring the team with his clothing line AND Zach is running the point for a totally unrelated reason.
I don’t want to imply that the venerable Atlanta Krunk would give anyone underserved playing time, but I am suggesting that Stephon might get more of a say about who plays and who doesn’t than a sponsor should. Whether Zach got the job based on his skills, he's the team scoring and assist leader, or because his bro supplies the uniforms, a Marbury family dominated team is something I am very ready to see.
Hopefully the addition of And1’s ‘The Professor’ (that’s right, he’s signed on to join the CBA when his contract runs out) won’t disrupt the Atlanta Krunk, who might as well change their name to the ‘Marburyville Marburys’.

Where Self-Absorption Happens

"Hey Everyone, Come And See How Good I Look!"

The NBA has recently become pretty full of itself, but with LeBron headlining TV and the entirety of China tuning in to watch Yao manhandle Yi, why shouldn’t they be? But, their ad campaign has become a little annoying. They show pictures of Kobe, Baron Davis and Nash and play some Michelle Branch-esque piano chord, ending each ad with the slogan “Where Amazing Happens”. Kulapuch1 of YouTube has produced a line of commercials that should be airing the same month that Marbury’s shoes are released in stores that anyone has ever heard of. (Get it? Never!).

My Amazing Journey: Chris Webber

Here That? That's The Sound Of 30
NBA Teams Not Wanting You

What ever happened to Chris Webber? His career is pretty hard to remember so I'll map it out for you:

1) Ruined The Fab 5 legacy at Michigan by accepting 17 purple Hummers from his agent
2) Made a decent career out of hook shots and losing to Kobe in Sacramento
3) Ruined the Sixers by forgetting to bring his knees along with him in the trade
4) Produced a Nas song
5) Seemed to be revitalized with the Pistons
6) Was maybe gonna play for an Italian team

After an impressive career like that, I'm surprised nobody wants this guy... In any case he actually used to be pretty sick and my favorite YouTube director, Yinka Dare, supplies a mix that highlights Webber's skills and whining ability complimented with some Gang Starr: