Why Bother Recovering For The NBA When You Can Be A Street Legend?

"I Could Totally Beat This Guy"
Sorry for my long absence, but I knew it was the perfect time to put in my bid for the black/female democratic vote for president here in PA… it didn’t go too well.
Greg Oden has been busy too. Apparently, he was running some ball at the local Y, an activity I can only assume wasn’t mandated by the Trailblazers. The story goes that Oden went to a 24-hour fitness spot in Tualatin, Oregon where he played a couple games with the locals. Then, one such local came home and blogged about it:

“I just got home from the 24 hour fitness in Tualatin where I played in a pickup game with Greg Oden. He played two games, and obviously he dominated.”

This was all to the chagrin of the Trailblazer staff. Coach McMillan said, “In a couple of years he will understand how stupid that was… you just can't do that.” Personally, I don’t see why the coach is so mad. According to the blogger, NateBishop3, he dominated, dominated. I think more NBA players should test their talents in the streets, against the true, hardworking, tough talent found at Bailey Total Fitness or in the Chacatowa Elementary School or something. As far as I’m concerned, it’s the only way to prove you’re good enough for the NBA, to show people that all those dunks and blocks on ESPN aren’t a bunch of smoke and mirrors.
And imagine how NateBishop3 felt. I bet it was something like this (props to the always hilarious “My Wife and Kids” for the clip):




I mean, you’re in the gym, probably just finished with the stair master, stopped over at the court to practice your granny-style free throws, and in walks Greg Oden:

You:*banks free throw* Yessssss, just like mama used to make.
*Greg Oden walks in*
You: *dancing* OMG OMG THAT’S GREG ODEN!!!!!!!
Greg: Whatup b, you tryin’ to run some ball?
You: Wow, you’re face looks even worse in real life… I mean, ya I’d heart to play.
*Greg proceeds to dunk over you 8-10 times*
*He beats you 74-0 even though the game was to 11*
You: That was a super game Greg, thanks a thousand!!!!
Greg: I won! I won! Coach is gonna be soooo proud!
*You go home and take a 5-hour nap in a bathtub full of ice, then blog about the game*

Anyway, if you thought Greg Oden was some sort of fro-hawk rocking, weight-lifting, knee-breaking idiot, his decision to risk all the progress he’s made to recover from his season ending injury to prove he’s better than that smelly old guy at the Jewish Community Center gym should change your mind.

UCLA Steals The Game From Stanford, With A Little Help From The Refs

In the first replay since 1982, the NBA is allowing the Heat and the Hawks to play the final 51.9 seconds from December 19th over again. The Heat demanded the replay after Shaq was benched with a reported 6 fouls, even though he only had 5. The Hawks won the game thanks to their satiations error, but the replay idea reeks of stupidity since Shaq won’t play in this game either. Instead of a “replay” of the final 51.9 seconds of a previous game, this becomes, basically, a 52 second game between two different teams.
But I say, let them do whatever they want. In fact, more games should only be 52 seconds long, especially ones between Atlanta and Miami. Plus, the replay brings some interesting possibilities. As I wasn’t around in 1982, I’ve never really considered the idea of giving the end of a game another go because of a decisive mistake on the part of the officials, but now that I think about it, these things should happen more often. Case in point, Stanford vs. UCLA yesterday.
As UCLA guard Nick Collison drove through the lane with 3 seconds left in the 2nd, he got blocked by Stanford’s Lawrence Hill, sealing victory for the Cardinal’s who were up 63-61. Notice how I said that Collison got blocked by Hill. Blocked: When you reject a shot by stopping the ball on its way up, without making any contact with the shooter. That’s what happened. In fact, I encourage you to look for yourself:



Hill doesn’t touch Collison, who ended up going to the line, hitting both shots and sending the game to overtime where the Bruin’s won. This is a bad call anytime, but it becomes actually offensive when made at the last second in a game that goes a long way in deciding the PAC-10 Champion.
I didn’t actually see this game live, but I’ve heard that bad calls were abundant throughout. Regardless, deciding to dish out a make-up call on the classic, last-second, decisive play is pretty suspicious [insert Donaghy joke]. I used to think that the NCAA was free of favoritism, as long as UNC wasn’t playing anyway.

This Is The Easiest Job Ever. Well, It Would Be If I Got Paid.

Knock Knock
Who's There?
Bam:

What is it with the fro-hawk these days?

There's A New 3rd Best Team In The East. Oh Wait, I Guess Nothing Changed.

What Do These Guys Have In Common? They Won't Be Dunked On By LeBron Anymore

In classic form, the NBA took the last 45 seconds before 3 o’clock yesterday to make as many pointless and confusing trades as possible before the deadline. Dallas has Jason Kidd, Atlanta has Mike Bibby and the Suns have some unknown young gun whose dreams could take him to the top. One of the most complicated trades came in a three-way blockbuster between Chicago, Seattle and Cleveland. Cleveland got Ben Wallace, Joe Smith, Delonte West and Wally Szczerbiak and sent Larry Hughes and Drew Gooden to Chicago and Donyell Marshall to Seattle. Before analyzing this trade, I think you should all take a look at the conversation preceding it:

February 21, 2008 2:45 P.M.
Chicago: *Ring Ring* Hello?
Cleveland: Hey Chicago, it’s me, Cleveland.
Chicago: Oh, ‘sup.
Cleveland: Not much, LeBron is crying about how bad his team is. As if he doesn’t get to play with Ira Newble.
Chicago: Ah, it all becomes clear, you must be calling about Thabo Sefolosha.
Cleveland: Uh, yeah I was thinking more like Ben Wallace and Joe Smith for Larry Hughes and Drew Gooden?
Chicago: *Pumps Fist* OH YEAH! Kiss your spot goodbye Hinrich!
Cleveland: Uh, yeah. Any chance I could dump Donyell Marshall on you, too?
Chicago: Yeah, right. That guy can’t even dress himself. Throw him at Seattle.
Seattle: *Over Enthusiastically* Hey guys, whassuuuuuuup?!
Cleveland: Hey bud, we were just wondering if you’d like Donyell Marshall. He’s averaging 16 and 10 (in 2003).
Seattle: Gosh, really?! Yeah jeez of course. Here, take some key players from my young nucleus that I totally revamped my team to create.
Cleveland: *Snickering* K, see you at the Finals. *Starts Laughing Uncontrollably and Hangs Up*
Seattle: What a nice guy.

Ok so now that you know what happened, here’s the significance. Cleveland got a lot better. I don’t care about fitting in with the team style blah blah blah. Anytime that you can trade Larry Hughes (who has been playing well recently but so has Joe Smith) and Drew Gooden and get a solid power forward (in Smith), an over 40% 3-point shooter (in Wally), a good young point guard (Delonte) who can fill in for Daniel Gibson while he’s hurt and one of the best defenders in the NBA (Ben Wallace). I hate to say it but Big Z just wasn’t getting it done in Cleveland defensively and starting Ben Wallace at the 4 should help. Wally really spreads the floor, giving room for LeBron, and Delonte West isn’t a shabby pickup either. And if you don’t think that having Joe Smith is a step up from Anderson Varejao, you’re crazy.
Chicago also made a good trade, assuming they gave up on getting a title this year. Drew Gooden is a solid scorer and rebounder and Larry Hughes still has a little left in the tank. I don’t know what they plan to do with Hughes, Hinrich and Gordon together but they really can’t all play at the same time. Ben Wallace wasn’t doing anything for Chicago and definitely not enough to help them out of their 21-32 season.
I really have no idea what Seattle is doing here. I guess they’re clearing a lot of cap room and getting ready to sign some expensive free agents over the summer, but they’ve definitely given up on the whole “rebuilding stage” idea. They throw Kurt Thomas over to the Spurs and get the aging Brent Barry. They get rid of Delonte West and Wally Howdoyouspellit and take Donyell Marshall in return. I just feel bad for whatever big time free agent the Supersonics sign, because this team is going nowhere fast.

He's Throwing Towels! Can He Do That?

This is just perfect. I mean, I really don’t have to do any work when I’m given a YouTube video like this. What you’ll see here is a little in-huddle fight between a couple of New York Knicks, Zach Randolph and Nate Robinson. Just when you thought things couldn’t get any worse in New York, the players don’t even bother to pretend they like each other anymore. It’s really like the players just thought I wasn’t updating my site enough and wanted to give me something easy to show everyone.


Two more things:
1) They actually won this game. Maybe the Knicks should throw water on each other more.
2) I have no idea what that girl is doing at the end of the video so don’t ask me (but if you must know, yes I love EBS too).

Shaq Has An(other) Illegitimate Son?

"Whatever You Do, Don't Put Out An Album"

I understand that it might be a little hard to notice these days, but Dwight Howard is a lot like Shaq. I mean, a lot like him. You’ve all seen last years All-Star dance contest, but these two have more in common then just YouTube take over. The fact that they were both selected first overall to Orlando should say something. All this talk about how Dwight Howard is a clear superstar who is still so raw and has so much room for improvement sounds a lot like Shaq’s hype back in ’96. In fact, lets look at ’96 a little bit closer. Shaq was 26 points with 11 rebounds and 2 blocks, shooting 57% from the field in his 4th season. Shooting might not be the best word. Big Fraiser basically dunked it every single time. Sounds a lot like Dwight Howard. In this, Howard’s 4th season, Dwight is averaging 22 points, 14 rebounds 2 blocks and he’s shooting (more like dunking) at about 59%. Aside from stats, position and ability, it’s important to remember that Shaq was just about the goofiest big man ever when he came into the league. These days Dwight Howard is dancing, joking and smiling into all of our hearts. Still, to really get a sense of how similar these two are, you really have to watch them play. Here’s a video that allows you to do just that. (For the record, I thought of this before I found the video).



So what does this mean for the future of Dwight? He'll play with the Lakers until Kobe gets jealous and ships him off.

Making History Is Not Always A Good Thing